I am three days post-partum and everything hurts.
I expected different. All the accounts I'd heard of unmedicated birth made it sound super awesome. You feel great afterwards, you really get to bond with your baby, It's so much less painful than a c-section, etc. I don't feel that way. Maybe I'm a bigger wimp (than most people) when it comes to pain, but I did not feel great afterwards. Everything hurt so much. I needed stitches, that was painful, plus there was a lot of pressure (I'm not sure from what) which was also painful. Bronwyn had to be checked for meconium, so I didn't get the super long bonding time. And, really, I just felt so gross after, I was dripping with sweat, there was a lot of blood, amniotic fluid and whatever else (poop? no clue, but I wouldn't be surprised). I would have loved to hop up and shower, but I couldn't do that right away either.
I guess I'm not cut out to be a natural birth person.
Now, three days later, I don't feel like any of the pain has improved. Everything downstairs still hurts, and I'm a little concerned that I've torn a stitch. I was really concerned about having to poop, since everything is so painful. But that finally happened today, and wasn't too bad. But walking, moving, scooting in a seat, getting in and out of bed, it all hurts. A little like I'm falling apart. To top it off, breastfeeding isn't going as well as last time. We went to the newborn clinic today, and she's lost more weight, she's at 9%, since birth. They weighed her before and after nursing, and she didn't get much. My milk isn't really in yet, isn't still more colostrum-y, so there isn't a lot. (I've pumped a couple times, and gotten less than an ounce both times (when pumped from both sides)), We're going back to clinic tomorrow to try again. But we may need to supplement with formula til my milk comes in more. I'm not too concerned about this. Lord knows, my nipples would welcome the break. But I'm concerned that my supply might always be low. So I don't know. I do know I feel terrible now, because I dread when she wakes up, because she needs to eat, and it hurts so much. They looked at her latch, and said it was fine, so I assume it's because my nipples haven't toughened yet. But to not be able to feed your kid adequately and be in terrible pain at the same time is a double whammy.
And I know this too shall pass. And in a week or so, everything will likely be much improved. But this is where I am, today.
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
She is here!
At 39 weeks and 2 days Bronwyn Alice came charging into the world.
The whole pregnancy, I had assumed she would be early. Bertram was nearly a month early. I heard that second babies often come earlier than the first. So I waited and waited. I had some random contractions/ Braxton-Hicks for the last three weeks. I kept watching to the mucus plug, a bloody show, anything that would tell me the time was near, but nothing happened.
So, since she wasn't going to be early, I started counting down til my mom arrived. I really wanted her to be there, especially since Aaron really isn't comfortable around blood, and my mom worked as a nurse for 35+ years. So last night around 9, my mom arrived.
I woke up around 2 or 2:30 this morning, from a contraction. Not a very strong, or painful one, So I laid around for a while, and had a few more. Aaron woke up and suggested I time them, which didn't occur to me, for some reason. I think because they seemed irregular. After an hour of timing, they were 4 minutes apart, lasting a minute each. (In the birthing class, the teacher said for second babies follow 7-1-1 (7 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for at least an hour)). I called L&D, they asked how I was feeling. I said the contractions weren't too bad. The said to drink 2 big glasses of water and take an hour-long shower, then lay down. I drank, and lasted 40 minutes in the shower, and then laid down. It was probably almost 6 at this point, and the contractions were getting worse. Aaron said, we'll we probably need to get ready to go. Mom asked if she had time to shower. I said sure, it seemed like there was a lot of time still. Aaron's folks came over to stay with Bertie at 6:45, and we took off for Kaiser.
The contractions were getting worse. We got to Kaiser a little before 7. Aaron dropped off my mom and me and went to park. We walked in, and then I was on the floor on all fours in front of the elevator. An orderly asked if I needed a wheelchair, I said no. Then he asked again, and I said "well, I won't be a hero." I got wheeled up for floor 5, crying and grunting the whole way.
We got to the desk, and the nurse said "what can we do for you today?" I said "I'm having a baby."
I got a room, got changed, was feeling "pushy". The midwife came in, and checked me. I was expecting to be a 5 or 6. Then she said the words that filled me with dread: "Alright, you're dialated to 9cm! So you can start pushing when you're ready." I said "but can I still have an epidural?" (I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway). She said it was too late, that if she broke my water, baby would come quickly. I was in a lot of pain. So I asked for NO2, as it was supposed to help. (Spoiler alert: it didn't). I used it some, but gave up quickly, because I couldn't feel a difference. I also was worried about GBS, since i was positive, I knew I needed the antibiotics. They hooked it up, but I didn't get much before everything was over with.
I was writhing around on the bed, crying, groaning, and making all sorts of embarrassing sounds. Then my water broke. But not just broke, like exploded across the room, all over the midwife, and the other nurse. I was also so sweaty. The iv tape wouldn't stick to my skin.
I was still screaming, crying and groaning (and probably other sounds). The nurses and Dr (who came in after I drenched the midwife), took the bed apart, and had me curl up to push. To be honest, it was terrible, and I wouldn't recommend it. Epidurals are so nice. And I will be the first to admit I am no badass. It felt like I was pushing for a long time. It was probably 10-15 minutes total, maybe less. At one point the Dr said the head was halfway out, and I think I said "pull her out!", which of course, didn't happen. My legs wouldn't stop trembling, which meant, I couldn't curl up to push very well. I know I said at least once that I couldn't do it (which is something I swore I'd never say while giving birth). Her head came out, so I assumed the pain was done (since that's presumably the hardest part). But the rest hurt too. Also, I had my eyes close almost the whole time, not sure why).
At 7:35am Bronwyn was here. 6lbs12oz, 18 inches long. Fairly small, but almost 1.5 lbs more than Bertie. She was waxy, and not crying too much, and didn't have a cone-head.
The placenta hurt some too. I had a 2nd degree tear, and I may have gotten cut before hand, I'm not sure. The stitching hurt, I got a lot of lidocane, and an injection of Fentanyl. But it hurt. And baby was over having her weight, and getting checked out (there was some slight mecronium staining.
Then I got her back, and she immediately started rooting, and latched quickly and well.
My dad, Aaron's folks and Bertram came to met her.
Bronwyn ordered a MatchBox car garage for Bertie. He was really thrilled. And he was excited to hold her.
She had and passed her hearing test.
All in all, a pretty good day. She's nursed a bunch, has pooped 3 times and peed twice. And, unless something odd comes up, we'll be going home tomorrow.
I'm still in a decent amount of pain, but it's not bad, considering that all I've had is Tylenol and Motrin.
The whole pregnancy, I had assumed she would be early. Bertram was nearly a month early. I heard that second babies often come earlier than the first. So I waited and waited. I had some random contractions/ Braxton-Hicks for the last three weeks. I kept watching to the mucus plug, a bloody show, anything that would tell me the time was near, but nothing happened.
So, since she wasn't going to be early, I started counting down til my mom arrived. I really wanted her to be there, especially since Aaron really isn't comfortable around blood, and my mom worked as a nurse for 35+ years. So last night around 9, my mom arrived.
I woke up around 2 or 2:30 this morning, from a contraction. Not a very strong, or painful one, So I laid around for a while, and had a few more. Aaron woke up and suggested I time them, which didn't occur to me, for some reason. I think because they seemed irregular. After an hour of timing, they were 4 minutes apart, lasting a minute each. (In the birthing class, the teacher said for second babies follow 7-1-1 (7 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for at least an hour)). I called L&D, they asked how I was feeling. I said the contractions weren't too bad. The said to drink 2 big glasses of water and take an hour-long shower, then lay down. I drank, and lasted 40 minutes in the shower, and then laid down. It was probably almost 6 at this point, and the contractions were getting worse. Aaron said, we'll we probably need to get ready to go. Mom asked if she had time to shower. I said sure, it seemed like there was a lot of time still. Aaron's folks came over to stay with Bertie at 6:45, and we took off for Kaiser.
The contractions were getting worse. We got to Kaiser a little before 7. Aaron dropped off my mom and me and went to park. We walked in, and then I was on the floor on all fours in front of the elevator. An orderly asked if I needed a wheelchair, I said no. Then he asked again, and I said "well, I won't be a hero." I got wheeled up for floor 5, crying and grunting the whole way.
We got to the desk, and the nurse said "what can we do for you today?" I said "I'm having a baby."
I got a room, got changed, was feeling "pushy". The midwife came in, and checked me. I was expecting to be a 5 or 6. Then she said the words that filled me with dread: "Alright, you're dialated to 9cm! So you can start pushing when you're ready." I said "but can I still have an epidural?" (I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway). She said it was too late, that if she broke my water, baby would come quickly. I was in a lot of pain. So I asked for NO2, as it was supposed to help. (Spoiler alert: it didn't). I used it some, but gave up quickly, because I couldn't feel a difference. I also was worried about GBS, since i was positive, I knew I needed the antibiotics. They hooked it up, but I didn't get much before everything was over with.
I was writhing around on the bed, crying, groaning, and making all sorts of embarrassing sounds. Then my water broke. But not just broke, like exploded across the room, all over the midwife, and the other nurse. I was also so sweaty. The iv tape wouldn't stick to my skin.
I was still screaming, crying and groaning (and probably other sounds). The nurses and Dr (who came in after I drenched the midwife), took the bed apart, and had me curl up to push. To be honest, it was terrible, and I wouldn't recommend it. Epidurals are so nice. And I will be the first to admit I am no badass. It felt like I was pushing for a long time. It was probably 10-15 minutes total, maybe less. At one point the Dr said the head was halfway out, and I think I said "pull her out!", which of course, didn't happen. My legs wouldn't stop trembling, which meant, I couldn't curl up to push very well. I know I said at least once that I couldn't do it (which is something I swore I'd never say while giving birth). Her head came out, so I assumed the pain was done (since that's presumably the hardest part). But the rest hurt too. Also, I had my eyes close almost the whole time, not sure why).
At 7:35am Bronwyn was here. 6lbs12oz, 18 inches long. Fairly small, but almost 1.5 lbs more than Bertie. She was waxy, and not crying too much, and didn't have a cone-head.
The placenta hurt some too. I had a 2nd degree tear, and I may have gotten cut before hand, I'm not sure. The stitching hurt, I got a lot of lidocane, and an injection of Fentanyl. But it hurt. And baby was over having her weight, and getting checked out (there was some slight mecronium staining.
Then I got her back, and she immediately started rooting, and latched quickly and well.
Bronwyn ordered a MatchBox car garage for Bertie. He was really thrilled. And he was excited to hold her.
She had and passed her hearing test.
All in all, a pretty good day. She's nursed a bunch, has pooped 3 times and peed twice. And, unless something odd comes up, we'll be going home tomorrow.
I'm still in a decent amount of pain, but it's not bad, considering that all I've had is Tylenol and Motrin.
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Quick baby update
Yesterday was my 38 week appointment. Bertie came with me. The NP always lets him help, which is really nice. So he helped with the doppler. Heart sounds good, she's still head down.I asked for an internal, since I'd have a few random contractions. I was hoping for a little progress. But there really wasn't any. No dilation or effacement, only signs are that the cervix is soft, and baby has dropped a little. I'm getting fairly uncomfortable, so I'm ready when she is. Also, the NP said if I make if to my 40 week appointment, we can schedule an induction for 41 weeks. So there is an end in sight, but it's dragging along.
I think I'm going to get Bertram a gift to open when baby sister is born, and tell him it's from her. Maybe a hot wheels track.
Also, Aaron started his new job yesterday. He's still with the Social Services for the county, but he's a supervisor now. He says his office is really hot. But other than that things seem pretty good. He got to work in 12 minutes yesterday. That is a dream commute around here where people often spend an hour+ going to work.
How far along? 38 weeks
Total weight loss/gain: About 23lbs. I would have liked to kept it under 20, but I'm happy with 23, especially since I gained 40 with Bertie.
I think I'm going to get Bertram a gift to open when baby sister is born, and tell him it's from her. Maybe a hot wheels track.
Also, Aaron started his new job yesterday. He's still with the Social Services for the county, but he's a supervisor now. He says his office is really hot. But other than that things seem pretty good. He got to work in 12 minutes yesterday. That is a dream commute around here where people often spend an hour+ going to work.
How far along? 38 weeks
Total weight loss/gain: About 23lbs. I would have liked to kept it under 20, but I'm happy with 23, especially since I gained 40 with Bertie.
Maternity clothes? I'm currently wearing 0 maternity clothes, but I was doing yard work. Men's basketball shorts, and a very big t-shirt. Other than this it's all maternity clothes
Sleep: Not too bad. I remember not being able to get comfortable when I was pregnant the first time. I can get comfortable, but I sometimes have trouble falling asleep.
Sleep: Not too bad. I remember not being able to get comfortable when I was pregnant the first time. I can get comfortable, but I sometimes have trouble falling asleep.
Best moment this week: Lots of baby kicks and squiggles
Movement: She moves a lot, especially after I eat
Food cravings: Not too much. Kool-aid, surprisingly. I haven't been too hungry, and most food doesn't sound good.
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Nothing much. Braxton-hicks occasionally
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Nothing much. Braxton-hicks occasionally
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.
What I am looking forward to: Getting her room completely done. I'm waiting on a couple framed things from Target. (I ordered them before, and they arrived smashed. I reordered and am crossing my fingers. I'm just waiting on the wall stuff, the bassinet, crib, clothes, changing table, etc are ready. I'd probably ought to get out the breast pump, and make sure it's ready too.
Milestones: 38 weeks! Bertram was a week and a half old at this point!
Milestones: 38 weeks! Bertram was a week and a half old at this point!
Monday, July 3, 2017
Somehow it's been a month since I blogged. I suck.
Let's see what I can remember.
Our 12th anniversary came and went without fanfare. Between being 8 months pregnant, having a 3 year old and being poor, we didn't end up doing anything. I think sometime after baby is born we'll have a do-over. We had dinner at Chick-fil-a. Haha.
Last week my FiLs truck was stolen from in front of their house. It was his work truck, so all his tools were in it. We assumed we'd never see it again, or if we did, it wouldn't be driveable. Bertie and I came back from running errands today, and there it was, back in front of the house. Nothing was missing, nothing was broken. And, the weirdest thing, it was found one street over. So that had a happy ending. The police guessed maybe some kids wanted to go joy-riding, found they could, got scared, and left it.
Last week Aaron's co-workers threw us a baby shower.
It was really nice, and kind of fancy. We got a lot of diapers, and clothes. I'm making Aaron write all the thank you notes (since I did all of them from my shower).
Baby is measuring right on track. I've had some braxton-hicks, but nothing "real" yet. I had my GBS test last week. I'm positive. Lame, but no big deal. We have her room mostly ready, I need to put a few more things away, and hang up the wall decorations.
Aaron got a promotion at work! He was an EW2, now he'll be a supervisor. Usually, one has to be an EW3 first, but they liked him, so he gets to skip a step (which is really rare). So he'll make a good deal more money, and have a better commute. (I should mention that his commute was good before, about 30 minutes, which is practically unheard of around here, but his new one will be 15-20 minutes). So that's really exciting. His supervisor pay starts today, but he doesn't actually start the job til next week.
Today Fiona has a seizure. This happens once or twice a year. Generally it's not a big deal (as in the vet can't do much). But she was kind of running as she was seizing, and smacked her head into the bed frame. I picked her up, and she had cut her forehead open. I took her to the vet (which was fortunately open). They kept her for four hours. Gave her drugs to stop the seizure, and she got iv fluids. They glued her head back together, no stitches. They drew blood, but we won't have the results til Wednesday. I was talking to one of the vet techs about fireworks, and mentioned we'd given Yoie her anti-anxiety medication last night. The tech said that that medication can cause seizures in dogs that are already prone to seizures. That was good to know. She's currently still a little dopped up, so the few fireworks going off haven't bothered her. We'll see how tomorrow night goes. (Note: we have a thunder shirt for her, but putting it on her, makes her nervous.).
How far along? 37 weeks
Total weight loss/gain: About 20lbs
Let's see what I can remember.
Our 12th anniversary came and went without fanfare. Between being 8 months pregnant, having a 3 year old and being poor, we didn't end up doing anything. I think sometime after baby is born we'll have a do-over. We had dinner at Chick-fil-a. Haha.
Last week my FiLs truck was stolen from in front of their house. It was his work truck, so all his tools were in it. We assumed we'd never see it again, or if we did, it wouldn't be driveable. Bertie and I came back from running errands today, and there it was, back in front of the house. Nothing was missing, nothing was broken. And, the weirdest thing, it was found one street over. So that had a happy ending. The police guessed maybe some kids wanted to go joy-riding, found they could, got scared, and left it.
Last week Aaron's co-workers threw us a baby shower.
It was really nice, and kind of fancy. We got a lot of diapers, and clothes. I'm making Aaron write all the thank you notes (since I did all of them from my shower).
Baby is measuring right on track. I've had some braxton-hicks, but nothing "real" yet. I had my GBS test last week. I'm positive. Lame, but no big deal. We have her room mostly ready, I need to put a few more things away, and hang up the wall decorations.
Today Fiona has a seizure. This happens once or twice a year. Generally it's not a big deal (as in the vet can't do much). But she was kind of running as she was seizing, and smacked her head into the bed frame. I picked her up, and she had cut her forehead open. I took her to the vet (which was fortunately open). They kept her for four hours. Gave her drugs to stop the seizure, and she got iv fluids. They glued her head back together, no stitches. They drew blood, but we won't have the results til Wednesday. I was talking to one of the vet techs about fireworks, and mentioned we'd given Yoie her anti-anxiety medication last night. The tech said that that medication can cause seizures in dogs that are already prone to seizures. That was good to know. She's currently still a little dopped up, so the few fireworks going off haven't bothered her. We'll see how tomorrow night goes. (Note: we have a thunder shirt for her, but putting it on her, makes her nervous.).
How far along? 37 weeks
Total weight loss/gain: About 20lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes, please. I've been searching for a couple more nursing tops.
Sleep: Surprisingly, no real issues, except some insomnia. Once I'm asleep, I'm usually good.
Sleep: Surprisingly, no real issues, except some insomnia. Once I'm asleep, I'm usually good.
Best moment this week: Baby shower with Aaron's co-workers
Movement: She loves to dance
Food cravings: Otter pops, watermelon
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Some braxton-hicks, off and on. (By this time, Bertie was already born.)
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Some braxton-hicks, off and on. (By this time, Bertie was already born.)
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting my girl
Milestones: We made it to full term!
Milestones: We made it to full term!
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