3am catch up

 We had conferences with both kids (it' that time, it wasn't a special conference). It really cemented, to me, that Bertram has the right teacher this year.  We found out in his DreamBox (online math), he'd never finished second grade.  So we've been playing catch up on that.  I told him once he's caught up, he can enroll in coding.  So we've been working on that a few nights a week.  He told me he is caught up now, but I need to find out from the teacher.  Bronwyn's conference was fine.  Nothing too surprising there, except she has an enemy, Wilder.  They do not get along.  I think he is an ASD kid as well.  But her teacher said she's very smart, but she's working on her fine motor.  I've been thinking that I maybe need to ask Kaiser for private OT for her, but with our current schedule there is no where for it to go.  But there has been talk about Bronwyn graduating from ABA.  I don't think Bertram is too far behind her.  So once ABA is done, we'll have a very open schedule.

Bertram has started 2 art classes.  An anime drawing class at the community center, and a regular drawing class after school.  Both are one day a week.  He's been enjoy them, and I love seeing his skills grow.  I think he has a lot of potential, especially when he slows down.  He's always in a rush to get things done.

Bertram had his walk a thon at the beginning of November.  He did 6 miles.  I think he could have done more, but he was just done.  So really he walked 8 that day, since we walked there and back.  I walked all the laps with him, per his request.  All Bert wanted was the Kona Ice snow cone.  Once he got that, he was ready to leave.

My dad is finally starting to feel well, after his surgery.  I was getting worried, because he was kind of despondent.  But he seems to be on the up and up now.  My mom's cancer wasn't quite a simple little cancer, as she needs radiation therapy as well.  It's hard because I had accepted this small, easy breast cancer, and now it's not that anymore.

Dogs:
We had to put Fiona down.  She was doing more and more poorly, and losing more weight and bladder control.  It's hard because there is never a "right time" to do it.  I just kept hoping she would die at home, so I wouldn't have to make the decision.  I started looking for a new dog almost immediately.  As I had a dog-shaped hole in my heart.  We went to the first shelter on a Saturday.  It was a really nice shelter, we visited all the cats, and looked over the dogs.  We met Honey, who was nice, but huge.  And she got too excited for her size (based on the size of the kids).  When we left the shelter Bron was very upset that we didn't leave with a dog.  The next day we went to the city animal shelter, where there were a lot of Pit mixes and Shepherd mixes.  Both breeds are generally bad with cats.  We met a smallish dog.  But he didn't warm to us, and didn't seem like he'd be a good fit for the family.  We went to the last local shelter the same day, and there we found Monty.

Monty has found his niche in our home.  He and Waffles get along, or tolerate each other.  Oona is still a little on edge when Monty is near.  He doesn't particularly care about either of them.  He has been my constant shadow since he came home.  He generally doesn't let me out of his sight.  He is fine with the rest of the family, but really, he only has eyes for me.  He's gotten a little more barky with people and other dogs.  He barks at someone when he meets them the first time, then usually not again.  He walks well on lead, but we're still working on "sit". I've signed him up for training classes at PetSmart (PetsMart?)  That will start in a few weeks.  But he is doing well.  He pees when he gets up, then we do a morning walk, a mid-day walk, and a quick outside in the evening.  We're not walking very far, because when we tried to do that before, he refused to walk any further, and I had to carry him.  Since I was carrying him, I figured I'd order a bag to put him in.  I assumed he'd tolerate, but not like the bag.  But he really enjoys being in there.  He's a snuggly dog, and generally speaking a good boy.

refusing to walk further

happily in his bag.

The kids got their covid boosters. Bert put on quite a show, crying, and falling on the floor.  We had the screamingest kids.  

I donated whole blood last Saturday.  I felt fine afterwards, which is unusual.  Usually I feel fine after donating platelets,  I really enjoy donating blood and platelets. I feel like I'm doing some good in the world, without actually doing anything.

I've been doing a lot of quilting recently.  My cutting skills are improving slowly.  I cut rectangles for a quilt, I have yet to start sewing it.. I made a quilt from scraps.  That turned out really cool.  I still need Aaron to do the binding. I cut the squares for Christmas quits for Aaron's mom and bio-mom.  Aaron got the top of the first one put together last night.  It's a little small, so we're going to add a couple inches of sashing to all the sides.  I worked on Rebecca's quilt some, but that is easiest to do when no one else is home.  It's a big quilt and takes up a lot of space (the whole dining area of the kitchen).

scrappy quilt, before it was done

close up.

rectangle brick-y quilt

fabrics for the Christmas quilts.

Monty

 

Meet Monty. He's a good boy. We adopted him from the Humane Society (the 3rd animal shelter we'd visited). He was shy at first, but he glommed onto me pretty quickly.  His name was Oscar. We were going to get a bigger dog, because our good dog was a big dog. One we saw bowled over both kids, while playing, another was not good with cats. 

Monty was fairly new to the shelter so they didn't have a lot of information on him. We know he came from Tulare county, and he was intact. He's likely a Chihuahua terrier mix. He's a scruffy boy. He did not like the car ride home.

Once we got home he filled me everywhere I went. We had dinner, did laundry, snuggled on the couch and watched TV. He peed outside. He sniffed all around our carpet (because Fiona peed on it), but didn't mark. He doesn't like his crate. He is not interested in people food, except cereal milk and melted ice cream. He is interested in the cats, but this far, has left them alone. But I'm not concerned about them, they had to deal with Yoie, they can hold their own.

When I told him it was bed time, he hopped right up onto the bed, and snuggled under the blankets. He snuggled with me all night. The cats came and went without incident.  He went out in the morning and went pee. 

He doesn't want to be alone yet, so he walked with Bron and me to school this morning. He is a good walker. He walks in the heel position, and doesn't pull at all. He was fine in the school scrum, not bothered by the crowd or noise.

I was nervous about getting another small dog, because Fiona was a bad dog. But I haven't had to worry about him charging, biting, excessively barking (so far), peeing inside, and just being a jerk.

I need to call the vet and set up a meeting, plus he's been sneezing a bit, so I want to get that checked out.

We're going to PetSmart in a little bit to get a new collar, a harness, some treats, some more food and some shampoo.

Fiona

 Yesterday was a really hard day.  We had to put Fiona down.

She was 17 or 18, deaf, not eating, and practically incontinent.  I took her to the vet to discuss end of life stuff, and I knew there was a good possibility she wouldn't be coming home with me.  She had lost another pound, and was pretty skeletal looking.  They think since she probably had some kind of cancer.  And she had just lost her zest for life.  It was time.

But was it time?  

I keep second guessing myself.  I took her, I made the decision.  I just kept hoping she'd die in her sleep.  I told her, on several occasions, that she could go, it was ok.  But she never did.  She slept all day, and looked sad all the time.  But maybe, maybe, I should have given her a little more time.

I should have taken her to do all the things she loved.  We could have gone on a walk, which he didn't do anymore because she was too tired.  I could have gotten her a burger, which she may or may not have eaten, because even people food wasn't interesting to her anymore.  We could have napped together, she would have liked that.

I stayed with her.  They asked if I wanted to.  They suggested I not stay for the actual euthanasia, since they usually poo themselves.  But I stayed while she was sedated.  I petted her, and talked to her.  It was basically like she was in a coma.  I said good bye again.  Then sobbed in the car, and the whole way home, and the rest of the morning.  I had to pull myself together because I had Bronwyn's conference to attend. 

She didn't like that she dog was dead.  She said things don't die.  I had to reassure her a bit, that everything dies, but usually when they're very old.  Bertram was sad for half a second, then suggested we get another cat.  Last night, I was crying.  This upset Bronwyn.  She told me I wasn't sad, I was just hungry.  

I feel like we had a kind of complicated relationship.  She was sort of "my dog".  I wanted to get her, I talked everyone into it.  Really, she tricked me.  In the shelter, she was quiet, the hopped up in my lap.  She got along with everyone.  She liked Zelda, Zelda tolerated her.  We brought her home, and the first thing she did was pee on the carpet.  Then she started barking, and never stopped.  She didn't like anyone but us, strangers, especially men, were a problem.  She bit people sometimes.  She didn't like other dogs at all.  Zelda was the only dog she liked.  Except one time, we met some greyhounds at the beach, and she thought they were ok.  She and the cats didn't get along, except Moss.  She and Moss were buddies.  

We used to close her in our room when people came over, because she hated everyone.  She tried to dig under the door and tore the carpet up, and ruined it.  It was shitty carpet to start with, but still.  She also peed on the carpet on numerous occasions.  

She was afraid of fireworks.  Fourth of July and New Years were always rough.  She would smash herself under the bed and try to dig through the floor. Nothing helped, thunder shirt, CBD, fans, white noise.  Nothing,  She would just shake and shake.  

She was often cold, but hated wearing clothes.  

All in all, the was a bad, stupid dog.  But she was my bad, stupid dog, and I loved her anyway.

This was at the vet on the last day.  She'd gotten so white.

From a couple months ago, when I bought her that tiny bed.

I spent a good deal of yesterday sobbing, missing her and feeling incredibly guilty.  I've cried off and on today, missing her and still feeling guilty.  My eyes have finally almost gone back to normal, and de-puffified.  

Hello Fall

 It finally feels like fall.  We had a decent amount of hot days through half of October.  But now it's finally in the 60's during the days.  Aaron took all the window fans down today.  And we've started using the heat.

Both of my parents had surgery on October 27th.  Both went well.  Mom's was quick, everything went as it should, there were no surprises.  Now we're just waiting for the biopsy results.  Dad's proctectomy went well, too.  He's having a much harder recovery.  Issues with his stomach, issues peeing.  He got to go home on Monday, but he's not feeling great.  Even though it was laparoscopic it's still major surgery.  

On the Friday before Halloween the high school near our house hosted a Trunk or Treat for the neighbourhood.  The kids enjoyed that.  Usually the school in just a bother (it's a very expensive private girls' high school), but this is probably the best event they've hosted.

The church was having its Trunk or Treat on Saturday, but it was the same time as Michael's birthday.  Aaron was pretty bummed, as the chili cookoff returned for the first time since the pandemic.  I was bummed too.  That's like the one thing I like attending at the church.  I think the kids' program is coming up, so I'll probably have to go to that.  The birthday party was fine.  The kids had fun, which is the important thing.

On Sunday we got a new tv.  Target had a pretty good sale on a bigger tv than our current one.  And it was time to replace it.  $200 later we were set up..

Monday was Halloween.  Bert was a crewmate from Among Us (some video game), and Bron was a unicorn (for the second time).  First we had the halloween parade at Bronwyn's school, then we went to Bert's school and watched his parade. In the afternoon, I volunteered in Bertram's class while they decorated cookies and pumpkins.  We went Trick or Treating fairly early, 5:30 or so.  Aaron was grumpy that we were the first one's out, I'm not sure why.  Bronwyn just did our street, Bertram went a little further.  They got plenty of candy.  We handed out some, there weren't a ton of kids.  We left the bowl on the porch at the end of the night, and it was empty in the morning, which was fine.  We had plenty of candy without it.

Bertram's school picture came back too

On Wednesday, I got my covid booster.  No issues, a quick appointment.  Except my appointment was actually on Tuesday, but they weren't busy, so it wasn't an issue. In the afternoon, Bronwyn had her dance recital.  She was so cute, I was tearing up watching her.  She's not a great dancer, but she enjoyed herself and did her best.

Today I had my long awaited dentist appointment.  I have been having a sporadic toothache for a couple of weeks.  I assumed I'd need a root canal, because that is often the answer.  But the dentist poked, tapped, and x-rayed, and found nothing.  So I'll just live with it, he sad if it gets worse to come back, and he'd look again.  I suppose if it continues, I could go to the doctor and see if they see anything.
The booster really hit me today.  I didn't have any side effects with my other shots, but I'm wiped out, sore, and tired.  It'll be an early night for me.