I survived my time as a single mom.  Every time I have to do solo parenting, I am always in awe of the people that do that full time.  They are some strong women and men.  While Aaron was gone, I took Bronwyn (and Bertram) to a Scout Pack meeting.  I don't know if it's just our troop, but pack meetings are run poorly, and are generally very dull.  Normally, I would have just skipped it, since Aaron does all the scouting stuff.  But Bronwyn was getting an award, so I wanted her to be there for that.  But then she always gets upset that she didn't win all the awards.  We stayed from 6:30-7:30 and then they'd (and I'd) had enough fun.  

We went to the Fall Outrageous Outgrowns.  (We being Aaron and me).  We often bring the kids with us, so they can choose books, and maybe a toy.  And usually the event is in one big room.  But this time it was in a lot of little rooms.  Some places were hard to navigate with just us two, let alone if we'd brought the kids too.  We got some jackets, and books, and a couple pairs of shoes.  It was a decent haul, considering the set up was not great.  Hopefully in Spring, it'll be in a different building.

I went to Aaron's cousin's baby shower.  She has PCOS and some other issues, so she wasn't sure she'd ever have a baby.  And she got a surprise.  So I'm very happy for her.  Her shower was lovely.  Parties are just difficult for me, I'm fine mostly listening, and chiming in occasionally, but I am not good at small talk.  So, events like that are always exhausting more me.  I don't know when this social anxiety because what it is today, but it's really annoying.  I wish I was more normal.

Bronwyn had a mini IEP meeting last week.  Just so it would be documented that she gets to keep her 1 on 1 aide for the duration of the school year.  Aaron went to that one.  It was right after school drop off, and lasted less than 10 minutes.  So I didn't miss too much. 

Aaron and I realized that we both know her PE teacher.  I went to high school with him, he was a grade or two above me.  He is one of Aaron's friends; friend.  He said Bronwyn is a sweet kid.  Which is good to hear, since at school (at least in her previous class) she's usually a terror.

Friday we went to the Trunk or Treat at Presentation.  It's relatively small, so the kids (specifically Bron) don't get too overwhelmed.  They had fun, and got a good amount of candy to boot.  There are a lot of good costumes now a days.

Bert was Foxy from Five Nights at Freddy's

Bron was a princess.

Saturday was a busy day.  It started out with Bertram's first chess class.  He was all excited til it was actually time to go, then I practically had to drag him there.   While he was in class, I walked around the field track at the community center.  He had a good time (of course) but has trouble understanding the teacher, who has a Russian accent.  After that, it was time for a Bertram and mom date.  I think Bert has been feeling a little left out, because Bronwyn has been needing more attention lately.  So I suggested that I take Bert out this Saturday, and Aaron could do next.  I asked Bert what he wanted to do, and he said mini-golf and IHOP.  Mini golf was fun, it was a nice day, and the course wasn't too crowded.  Plus the big group that was there, let us go ahead of them.  Afterwards, we went across the street to IHOP and there was not a single parking space available in the whole lot.  I asked what his second choice was.  He chose Denny's.  Denny's was also busy, but we were able to park and get a table.  The service was slow, as I'm pretty sure they were understaffed.  But he and I had a nice lunch.  

Aaron and Bron were supposed to do something fun too.  But she opted for Macca's and television instead.  Bron and I napped that afternoon.  She'd been up for a long time (I'm not sure what time, but it was early).  We both had to be woken for the church Trunk or Treat.   She was ,understandably, grumpy.  She never quite recovered.  When we went in, she wore her headphones, which helped some.  But she wouldn't eat anything (not too surprising).  And before the actual Trunk or Treating had started, she had Aaron take her and I home.  (For the record, I was dressed at Totoro, and Aaron was a banana).  

Sunday was one of the few times a year I attend church with the family: the primary program.  Bertram was balking before we even left the house.  He has long declared himself an atheist.  Which is fine with me, I'm 90% there myself.  Aaron still makes him go to church.  Anyway, he said he couldn't participate because it would be lying.  I can understand, and am even proud of his scruples, but the day of was not the time to decide that.  I told him the time to dissent was when they were practicing.  I also told him that some times it's ok to tell a little lie, if it makes someone else happy.  But he was not budging. So he sat by me the whole time.  Aaron got Bronwyn to go up to the front, and he stayed with her.  At one point she started crying, and they left.  He came back with her in her headphones.  (We keep a pair in the car, at home, and at school).  Then she participated.  She read both of her parts, and at the end also sang with the kids.

There isn't too much else on the horizon right now.  I'm looking forward to Daylight Saving Time ending next week.  The sun doesn't come up til after 7:30 these days.  In the next 2 weeks, Bron starts gymnastics, and soccer.  I'm anxious about how that will go.  She is quite the wildcard.  Bertram will be doing a ceramics class in December.  And I'm excited because in the new year, there are actually classes for people my age!  There used to be adult classes, but recently, it has been only kids and old people.  There are a couple or art classes and some fitness classes.  So I'll be signing up for something  once the registration period opens.

Back to reality

 Bronwyn has been in SpEd for about a week at this point.  She is doing much better, in terms of school behaviour.  In a few weeks, she'll start to do some activities with her old class (PE, library time, and math, I think), in an effort to transition her back to gen ed.  I think she may need 2 years of SpEd before going back to a gen ed class, to give her time to emotionally mature.  But we'll see what happens.

The Sunday right after we returned from Virginia, Bronwyn had her sleep study.  I wasn't sure how she would behave, since it's always hit or miss with her.  But she did amazingly well.  She sat still for an hour while all the electrodes were placed.  And she actually fell sleep quickly too.  The only hard part was taking off some of the sensors.  Some had tape, which hurt on her little leg hairs.  And waking up at 5am was hard too.  Also, whatever they used to stick the sensors to her head is not coming off easily.  Everything was supposed to be water soluble, but we've scrubbed, shampooed, conditioned, oiled, and it's not coming off.  Fortunately, it's not noticeable.  The results of the sleep study came back with everything normal.  So her sleep issues are related to either ASD ADHD or both.

Getting all hooked up.

Both kids had their walk-a-thons over the weekend, Bron on Friday and Bert on Saturday.  As is the case, with my little firecracker, I wasn't sure how she'd do.  But she ran and ran with a smile on her face.  I made her a sign that said "GO BRON", per her request.  Her school's walk-a-thon isn't a real one.  Each grade does about 30 minutes of walking during the school day and that's it.  In the evening her school had their annual Fall Festival. They have a lot of little games and activities.  Bertram was happy to decorate a pumpkin, do spin art, and get a shaved ice.  Bron played most of the games, and had a great time.

Bertram was pretty excited for his walk-a-thon (which is a traditional one, where you walk all day, and get lap prizes etc).  Once Saturday morning rolled about, he was in a particularly sour mood.  He wasn't going to walk, I couldn't make him.  We walked anyway.  He kept throwing his lap card on the ground (and then would, inevitably, pick it up again).  He'd stop walking, saying he was going home, I would keep walking, and he'd run to catch up with me.  He crumpled up his lap card in an effort to rage-quit.  I was ready to quit myself.  What was the point of torturing both of us?  After some amount of laps, he earned a cold drink (as a lap prize).  We took a break, he drank, his attitude improved.  He asked me how much he had to walk.  I said at least 6 miles, since that was what he did last year.  So that's what we did.  I walked all but 2 laps with him.  Grandpa stopped by, and somehow managed to find us while we were eating lunch.  Later Aaron and Bronwyn came by.  She had a churro and went in the jumpy house.  Bertram got another shaved ice (the same snow cone truck was at both events).  I got a caramel churro.  On the way home, we saw a little lizard that let up touch it, and pick it up.  In total, he and I walked about 8 miles, since we walked to and from the event.  I came back when it was over.  I won a piercing gift card in the silent auction.  And I helped pick up and put away with school merchandise booth.  It wasn't hard, per se, but I hadn't had enough to drive, and I was worn out from all the walking, and the sun (though, thankfully, it wasn't too hot, maybe 80.)  After that I showered, napped and Aaron fetched pizza for dinner.

Early Sunday morning, Aaron left on a work trip to Richmond, VA (of all places).  Luckily, the county booked his flight out of the San Jose airport, so we didn't have to get up as early as we would if flying out of San Francisco.  The kids went to church with their grandpa, and I bought groceries for the week.  I was supposed to donated platelets that day, but the timing didn't work out.   I macerated some strawberries and made baking powder biscuits to take to family night.  Bronwyn played by herself for a long time in the garden.  I prayed cards, I lost one game, and tied to win the other.  Bron slept in bed with me.  

Yesterday, I walked Brony to school, she was not happy about having to walk, which we do, most days.  She kicked me, and screamed, all of which I ignored.  Eventually, she calmed down, and the rest of the walk was fine.  I came back to the school at lunch time to have a family meeting with the new school counselor.  She's going to see Bronwyn weekly, and sent up a social skills group for her.  I'm very excited about that.  After school we went to her other counselor (the one through Kaiser).  Bron was not being very participatory.  She kind of shut down, and I'm not sure why.  That's a new behaviour.  She perked up towards the end.  We stopped at Macca's on the way home, specifically because they were supposed to have the Halloween Boo Buckets.  But the one we went to didn't.  So that was a bummer.  The kids were at each other all evening.  But, they both went to sleep at reasonable hours, in their own beds.  Bron got in bed with me during the night, but that's fine.

Midday, I have a zoom appointment with Bronwyn's psychiatrist.  I'm not sure if the medicine is having the desired effect.  So we may change it up.  We'll see what she says.  After school today the kids and I are going to get our covid shots, and I need to pick up Bertram's Adderall.  

Wednesday I have my counseling, Thursday the kids have speech, and there is a scout meeting that I may try to take Bronwyn too, since she earned a badge, or patch, or something.  And Thursday night Aaron returns (yay!).  

Snapshot: Bronwyn (age 6)
Most days she gets up between 6:30-7.  She has been watching a lot of Disney+, namely Super Kitties and Spidey and His Friends.  Every morning she has a vanilla Ensure for breakfast.  She wears uniforms, but always a dress or skirt, never pants.  She loves reading, and is reading books for 4th and 5th graders.  She likes Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Hilo, Science Comics, and many others.  Her eating habits have started to narrow again.  I need to get her back to trying new foods more often.  She loves salt.  She likes to play imaginative games with her different toys, usually the little plastic ones.  She loves stuffies.  She has recently gotten into playing more card games like Memory and Go Fish.  She also likes various board games.  Occasionally, she'll do some art.  But she's not as dexterous as she wants to be, so art can be hard.  I've been showing her more modern art to try to show her that art doesn't always look just like the thing it is.  She has a fairy garden that she is very into.  She like Crocs, but will wear other shoes.  She likes watching YouTube videos with Bertram.  They would probably do that a lot more, if I let them.  She is getting into music.  She like mostly older (80-90s) songs.  But has some other the pop hits on her list as well.  We go on an evening walk everyday, and she and Bertram fight over whose music to listen to, even though a lot of the songs are the same.  One song she can't stand, and won't tolerate is Rush-E.  

Snapshot: Bertram (age 9.5)
Most days, Bert gets up between 5:30-6, but sometimes as early as 5.  He doesn't have a lot of tv shows he likes, but he has YouTube channels that he watches.  I have to be fairly vigilant to make sure there isn't anything he shouldn't be looking at.  He likes Five Nights at Freddies, Rainbow Friends, Pokemon, and a channel called Game Theory.  Most mornings, he'll eat a PB&J.  Occasionally, he'll have cinnamon toast, cream of wheat, or a smoothie.  He doesn't have preferences about what he wears, as long as it's comfortable, elastic, or drawstring pants, t-shirts without buttons.  And Crocs.  He would be barefoot, or in Crocs all the time, if he could.  He likes reading, but not as much as he once did.  He's reading at grade level now.  He collects Pokemon cards, and has a lot of Legos.  He wants to learn magic tricks and coding.  He does coding via Scratch.  He's gotten pretty good, especially since he's self taught.  He also loves stuffies, and his bed is filled with lots of different ones.  He is of the opinion that school is useless, that he knows everything and is a genius.  Bertram likes drawing and making comics, he has made a lot of his own characters.  His least favourite subject is writing.  Bertram has an extensive Spotify list.  It's mostly video game music, but there is some pop mixed in, and various other types of music.  When we walk to school, he usually says "Can I tell you something?" I always hope it's going to be something personal, but it never is.  He usually tells me video game lore or cannon.  He loves animals, especially cats.  But has started to keep his door closed all the time because Oona keeps peeing on his things.  (I don't know what her deal is.  There is nothing medically wrong with her).  He doesn't take showers, just baths.  He still needs a little help washing his hair.  And he needs to learn to tie his shoes (for the PE days, when he has to wear trainers).  He is an atheist.  (Though, I don't think he knows that word).  And really doesn't like going to church with Aaron and Bron every week.  

Fall Break in Virginia

 For fall break, we decided to come and visit my family in Virginia.  I said if I could find tickets for under $300 each, we'll go.  And I did, so we did.

We left SFO at 5:30am on Saturday.  The beginning of the first flight was hard for Bronwyn.  She had expectations that weren't met.  Mainly, that it was loud.  She cried loudly for about 20 minutes, then fell asleep for a half hour, or so.  We had a decently long layover in Charlotte.  We got lunch at chick fil a.  Bert got a lemonade, that he almost immediately spilled (about half of it).  So we spent a long time cleaning up the floor with those super thin napkins.  We got out food, then he spilled his drink again.  (Somehow, there was still some left, despite being spilled twice.)  The second flight was short, and uneventful.  That night, both kids slept in bed with me.  I'm not sure why.  

Sunday was mom's birthday.  The kids and I went shopping in the morning for a little bit.  We had lunch together, and Rebecca brought Nothing Bundt Cake for dessert. 

Monday we went to a few different places.  When we were at Walmart, Bertram managed to flip the shopping cart over, onto himself.  It landed right on his ankle, which I was sure was broken.  Shopping carts are much heavier than I thought.  He was ok though.  Just a scrape on his arm.  He was quite upset, but he bucked up pretty quickly.

Tuesday I got a much needed haircut.  I haven't done much with my hair.  Even though it doesn't feel like it, it's still pretty humid here, which makes my hair very puffy.  So I've been wearing it up a lot.

On Wednesday, we went to the zoo in the morning.  Bertram was determined to have a bad day.  He tried his best, but I think he had fun, in spite of himself.  Both kids wanted to feed the parakeets.  So we bought the little seed sticks, an off they went.  As soon as you open the door, all the birds come rushing at you.  Both kids immediately started screaming, and threw their seed sticks.  Bron starting crying and melting down.  I took them both out of there (which was difficult, because the birds were still trying to follow the kids, assuming they had food.  Bronwyn went out to Nana, and was still screaming and crying.  I think she was in sensory overload.  She was holding the cup of animal food (to feed to the goats, and such), which she threw.  About half the food spilled out all over the ground.  But she calmed down after that and helped me pick up most of the food.  After that, both kids refused to feed any animals.  But I had fun feeding them.  My favourite was feed the giraffe.  They have really long, almost prehensile, tongues. I thought I had a picture of me feeding the giraffes, but it's not on google photos.  That evening we went to my favourite restaurant, Cracker Barrel.  (Mainly because we don't have Cracker Barrel).  Bron didn't eat too much, which is fairly typical.  Bert at all his food.  

Bron and Emu

BB Eddie and a wallaby

The kiddos

He wants to photoshop a turtle into his hand.

Nana and kiddos.

Kids looking at turtles.

Thursday we went to an indoor play place called Kids Empire.  They had a blast, and practically had the run of the place.  There was only ever maybe 5 other kids there.  The slides were really fun.  I enjoyed it too, but I'm getting old, because it's hard on my back.  At midday, both kids were hungry, so we went to IHOP for lunch.  We went to Kohls for a few minutes.  Then the kids wanted Maccas, despite having eaten very well at lunch. So we did the drive through and then went back to the play place for the afternoon.  They were doing well.  Towards the end, Bronwyn had an issue.  She and Bert were sliding down on little sleds, and crashing into the other little sleds.  But then it was another girl's turn, and Bron didn't want to move the sleds out of the way so the little girl could slide down.  So I moved them, Bronwyn started kicking me, and the girl slide down.  Then Bronwyn tried to kick the little girl (she missed fortunately).  I said, Nope you're done, and scooped her up.  Bertram played for a little longer then it was time to head home.  Bron recovered fairly quickly.  But it's annoying to have to bear-hug her all the time when she's melting down.  

Bron and big Legos

Bert sliding.

The little sleds, mentioned above

"The Brown Splodge" by Bronwyn

Friday, today, Bb came over in the morning with the baby for a bit.  We hung out.  In the afternoon, we (me, the kids, Nana and Jessica) went to the science museum.  It was a really cool place, and since it was a Friday afternoon, it wasn't busy, so we didn't have to wait for any exhibits.  The front desk had sensory backpacks that you can borrow.  I got one for Bronwyn, mainly for the headphones (I was going to bring hers and forgot).  We saw rats playing basketball.  That was so cute.  I played air hockey against a robot.  We tied.  I was impressed that I managed to score on it.  The first area was fine, no issues.  The second area started badly for Bron and went downhill from there.  They had a human hamster wheel, which Bron did not like, for some reason.  There was an exhibit where you make music, and that was her last straw(she had the headphones on the whole time).  She started screaming, and crying.  So I took her out to the hall, where it was quiet.  She calmed down, and we found the little kid area.  It was for 5 and under, but I figured a young 6 was close enough.  It was quiet. with simple activities.  The ret of our group met us there.  Bert played with some blocks for a few minutes and built a greek temple.  Then we saw the beehive and the reptiles and spiders.  There was an exhibit on different physics principles that everyone seemed to enjoy.  Even though the museum is aimed towards kids, it was still really enjoyable.  I definitely would like to go back when we visit again.  After that we got dinner from Panera.  And went to Walgreens to buy snacks for the trip home tomorrow.  I spent the evening stressing about packing.  I'm hoping the suitcases are not over weight.  But, as Aaron reminded me, the worst that can happen is I have to pay for the overage, which isn't a huge deal.  I don't think either is 50lbs, because I can still lift them without too much struggle.  But we'll find out tomorrow.  Mom has a luggage scale I can use.

Nana and grandkids.

Seesters!

Rat basketball

Human hamster wheel.

Bron (with the sensory backpack) calming down in the little kid area

The Greek temple

She made a moon lab

She really liked this photo op.

Every night, until tonight (the last night) Bronwyn has been sleeping in my bed, with me.  When I ask her why she can't sleep in her bed she says "I just can't handle it".  Tonight, I finally got her to sleep in her bed, because I was packing, and my bed was covered in stuff.  Then, while I was taking a bath, Bertram came in and asked if he could sleep with me.  So, I thought I would get one night to spread out, but no.

 

Bronwyn started on a non-stimulate ADHD medication a couple weeks ago.  I haven't noticed much difference.  The psychiatrist said to up the dose.  (She was getting .5mg in the evening, now she'll get .5mg morning and evening.)

She got the 1-on-1 aide.  It didn't help, really at all.  She was still having all the same issues.  We had another IEP meeting just before break.  The district finally agreed to move her to the SpEd class.  She will still join her old class for certain activities (math, library and PE), but will be in SpEd the rest of the time.  When she is in the gen. ed. class she'll still have her aide.  Hopefully that helps with her behaviour, and she'll be more motivated to do classwork, since she'll be less stressed by the environment.