Hope and Change.

Nope, it's not a political post.

I really need a change.  The way things are now isn't working, so I assume it will continue not working.  I'm sure a lot of what I'm feeling has to do with my consumption of Prednisone, but still...

Work has been kind of stressful, but it seems we've gotten through the stressful bits, and are on the right track once again.  That is a definite plus.

However, my depression and anxiety are getting worse.  Again, I assume it's Prednisone related, however, I still have about a month of Prednisone left, and I don't like the way I feel.  I'll be going along, just fine, then suddenly have this overwhelming, crushing sadness.  Or I'll be out driving around, and see someone walking a dog.  I'll think Oh what a cute dog.  Then I think of Zelda and Yoie, then the anxiety sets in.  Are they ok?  Did something bad happen?  What if the house caught of fire?  They'd be stuck inside!  It's unfortunate that being agoraphobic actually seems like a good option.  I'm going to email my shrink on Monday and see if he can adjust me meds a bit.

I'm still tired all the time.  And I've been eating like... I can't think of a good simile.  Like something like eats a lot.  Plus the Prednisone makes me puffy, so even if I'm not actually gaining weight (which would be a miracle) I'm rounder.

I know things will get better.  I know this isn't permanent.  I know this.  I just can't remember what it's like to feel normal.

Hodge Podge

• Politics is too divisive, and I'm already tired of hearing about election stuff.  Still 2 months to go, too.  
• My liver went (scarily) crazy this week.  So now I'm off nearly all of my drugs.  I still have to finish my prednisone.  But other than that, all I'm on is Celexa, and twice monthly Humira.  Can I say, I really, really, really miss Adderall?  Maybe my GI will give me the ok to go back on it soon.  But, my gosh, I'm so tired ALL THE TIME.  And I can't focus on anything.  Adderall was not likely the issue.  But the GI got rid of all ancillary drugs.  Blurgle.
• My crohns symptoms are starting to creep back.  Maybe I'll lose these 4 Prednisone pounds sooner rather than later.
• Also, I don't have the energy to walk both dogs on my own anymore.  I think we went maybe 4 blocks, before I had to turn around.  So maybe that weight will stick around.
• I got Employee of the Month for the second time in three months last week.  I'm pretty awesome.
• I think I may be getting my first smart phone (ever).  I don't really want or need a smartphone.  But it is time to get a new phone.  And the non-smart ones are kind of lame.  I don't really plan on using the data, but maybe I'll change my mind once I get it.

20 random things about me

1. If I didn't stop myself, I could eat a whole watermelon in one sitting.  I love it that much.  Plus I'm totally a glutton.
2. I've had pretty bad anxiety from about age 6.  While anxiety is not good, I do credit it for keeping me out of a lot of bad situations during my teenage years.
3. I have never been drunk (or high).  I kind of regret being so cautious in my growing up.  I don't have a lot of "learning situations."
4. My first A in college was in Public Speaking.  I don't really care for it (like most people), but I really did enjoy that class.
5. At my adult height (5'6"), the most I weighed was 163, the least was 132.
6. From about 5th grade, I was overweight.
7. I am the only one in my family who cannot tan.  My sisters and my folks get a nice tan when in the sun too long, I, however, turn into a lobster in about 15 minutes.
8. I met my husband when I was 17.  (Well, once very briefly at 16).  
9. Nanny (mom's mom) makes the best tuna salad.  I know exactly how she does it, yet I can never make it taste the same.  That goes for most of her recipes.
10. I didn't mow a lawn until I was 27.  Our house growing up didn't have one, then Aaron and I lived in apartments.  I really enjoy doing it.
11. I don't enjoy driving, but I often get carsick if I'm a passenger.
12. Aaron would sleep spooning all night, if I let him.  He's way more cuddly than me.
13. I would like to learn to drive stick.
14. The Shark Steam mop is the best cleaning thing I've ever bought.
15. I've never been to Yosemite (it's about three hours from here), I'd like to go.
16. Even as an adult, I'm still really obsessed with all things Sanrio.  I miss Monkichi.
17. If I ever get to a point where I don't "have" to work, I want to get involved with a lot of charity, mainly centered on animals, homelessness, and human trafficking.
18. If we lived somewhere with real storms (and occasional tornadoes), I would be scared every time I heard thunder.
19. I wish numbers could be capitalized.  Wouldn't that make more sense?
20. Whenever our marriage outlasts a celebrity couple I feel kind of proud.  Total Schadenfreude.   

Long Weekend

What a great weekend!

Friday Aaron and I went out to dinner and did a little shopping.  He got suspenders.  They are awesome.

Saturday we got up early to do the food pick up for church.  Actually, no.  I got up early, and Aaron slept in.  That was fun.  Then we bummed around.  In the afternoon we left for a work thing for Aaron.  He had to go to a BSA troop thingy in Fairfax (north of Marin).  So we drove an hour and a half up there, it was a really pretty drive.  The event was alright, we had Vietnamese food for dinner.  I ate shrimp heads.  They were pointy.

Sunday we went to church.  Parts of that were better than usual.  Then we got to meet Aaron's cousin Sophie's baby!  Little Kaylee.  So freakin cute and tiny!  And squirmy for a newborn.  I want a baby.  :-/  Then we had dinner and hung out with Aaron's family.  We played cards and Aaron and I did great!

This morning we got up and took the doggies to Rio Del Mar beach.  It was so much fun.  And we saw another greyhound!  Zelda and Yoie both made instant friends!  (That is very unusual).  On the way home we tried to go to the Corralitos Meat Market, but they were closed for the holiday.  Went we got back I went to lunch with Amanda, and  had a great time talking about politics and church and such.  Then we went to Kohls and spent money.

Now I'm sitting around being sweaty, because the house is warm.