Catching up again

I'm towards the end of a 10-day social media fast.  I really hate it.  I think's harder as a stay at home mom. Social media is sort of how I have friends.  It's been lonely, and isolating. It was suggested in the general conference for church to do a 10-day social media fast, and (re-)read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year.  I've mentioned it before, but I have pretty much no faith at the moment.  Well, no feeling of faith.  I try, and I just don't feel like I'm getting it, if that makes any sense.  So, I thought, I would try to follow the advice of the president of the church, and see if it might bring me closer to Christ.  In the recent past, the more I try the further away I feel.  But I thought I'd try again.  Try and try again.  No results so far, but I'm not any worse off because of it.  (Except the isolation).

Last Saturday Aaron help his cousin build a fence.  He was sore for a few days, and mentioned his arm was bothering him.  Tuesday Bronwyn and I went to Kaiser.  I did my quarterly blood draw, and Bron got her HiB, Pneumococcal, and tDap boosters.  Tuesday after work, Aaron mentioned his arm was really starting to bother him.  He went to Urgent Care in the evening.  They said it was tendinitis. Tuesday night, he took ibuprofen and benedryl and went to bed early.  I came back around midnight.  And he was awake in pain that got worse.  He was writhing and moaning.  He took a Norco, and it didn't touch the pain.  So around 3 am, I called my Mother in Law (who lives 2 houses away) to ask her to stay with the kids.  We went back to Kaiser, to the ER.  There are no wait, which was nice, we were out in under an hour.  He saw the NP, she confirmed that it was tendinitis.  He got a shot of to tordol and dilaudid.  It took a while, but those helped some, and he finally went to sleep.  He stayed home from work Wednesday.  His arm was still hurting.  We went back to Kaiser that afternoon.  Aaron saw another doctor who wrote him a prescription for Flexeril.  He took that, it worked, then slept for about 17 hours straight.  Friday he went back to work.  So it was a fun week.

No sleep til

So far the sleep incentives haven't done much.  Bertie will go to bed without much of a fight.  But he still wakes us up every night, and he's still getting out of bed too early. 

In the mean time, my sleep quality and quantity have taken a nose dive.  Insomnia is bad, friends.  Even if I take a sleep aid, I'm often awake from 3 or 4 on.  Like, right now.  Bertie woke up, Bron woke up, and then I was awake.  I took half an Ambien, and still, I'm awake.  With 2 and a half hours of sleep to show for it. I had three nights this week with less than 4 hours of sleep.

On top of that (or maybe because of it) I'm feeling really burnt out.  It's tough, because if you're burnt out from your job you can take time off, or even find a new job.  Which is not to say I don't love my "job".  Being home with the kids is what I wanted, and I love it.  But I need a break, which seems awful to say.  And worse because I'm not sure what that looks like.  Bronwyn still wakes in the night to nurse about 3 days a week, so I can't take a night off.  And there isn't really anything I specifically want to do.  Actually, I want to spend time with the family, but not have to be "on".  Which I guess would mean everyone behaves perfectly.  So, that's not too likely either. 

I'm just rambling. 

Sleep screw up

Once upon a time, Bertram was a good sleeper.  He could sleep on his own, with minimum intervention from Aaron or me.  Fast forward to last night: it took him 1.5 hours to go to sleep, because someone had to sit with him.  Then he woke up at 4.  Normally, Aaron or I would lay down with him til he (or inevitably both of us) would fall asleep.  But, I realized how far we'd slid back on sleeping.  So we started minimal-contact-say-good-night-back-to-bed thing.  The problem with this is (of course that it sucks, but) you have to pass through Bronwyn's room to get to ours.  So going back and forth every 5 minutes wakes her up.  Especially since he's usually crying.  At some point, I told Aaron I'd stay in the front of the house, so Bron and Aaron could sleep uninterrupted.

Aside from putting him back in bed ad infinitum, I devised a plan.  I made a calendar (sticker chart).  He has the opportunity to earn 3 stickers each night. 
1. Going to bed on his own, without issue
2. Sleeping all night (aka don't wake mom and dad/Bronwyn)
3. Stay in bed til the clock changes colour.  (We got him a clock when he got his big bed that is blue when it's sleeping til and yellow when it's get up time.  It worked well, for a while, until we got lazy).

Once he earns 21 stickers, he will get a remote controlled BattleBot.  I think this will be a good incentive because he's been talking about it for months.  (They're between $30-40 so I was putting him off til Christmas or Birthday, but if this works, I'll happily buy it now.)

Fingers crossed.

Also, hopefully I get a nap today.