Today I said to Aaron "Sometimes I with I was dead. Just in a passive way". He asked if he needed to stay home, or find someone else to watch Bertram. At first I was offended, I've never had any self harm behaviours. But I understand his concern. I emailed my shrink, so we'll see what he says.
I'm having odd social anxiety too. I took Bertie to the library for story time. We got in and sat down, and I almost started crying. No reason. Then I was going to go to this relief society thing tonight. When it was getting close to time to leave my heart was racing, so I didn't go.
I've been really tired lately. And neglecting self care.
Blah, blah, blah. Sad Rachel.
I've had moments like that too. Like, I wouldn't mind if I died in a accident or something. Depression sucks.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you emailed your shrink. Living with that level of anxiety is the worst. I think you are brave and smart and awesome!