1. What did you do in 2017 that you'd never done before?
Had a baby without drugs, was unemployed/full-time SAHM
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I don't think I made one. I don't really plan on making any
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
People at church
4. Did anyone close to you die?No
5. What countries did you visit?
none, still.
6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
Be more active. More outside time with the kids.
7. What days from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day Bronwyn was born
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Bertram has started reading (though it's really more his achievement than mine)
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not leaving for the hospital in time to get an epidural
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Recovery from birth was awful
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Double stroller
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Bertram. I thought he would have a hard time not being an only child, but he's been great.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Anything to do with Trump
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having a baby girl
16. What song will always remind you of 2017?
Sign of the Times (though, maybe that came out last year?)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier,
ii. thinner or fatter? Probably a little thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer, I think
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercised while pregnant
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
laundry (because I hate laundry)
20. How will you spend Christmas?
We're going to open our stockings tomorrow (Christmas eve). Christmas day we'll have dinner with Aaron's extended family
22. Did you fall in love in 2017?
With Bronwyn
23. How many one-night stands?
none, duh.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Rick and Morty
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I try not to waste time on hate.
26. What was the best book you read?
I only read a couple of books this year. But I liked The Drug Hunters a lot
27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
More of the same stuff., Nothing spectacular is springing to mind
28. What did you want and get?
A drug free birth
29. What did you want and not get?
A pleasant drug free birth
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
That implies that I saw movies...
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I have no clue what we did... I turned 34
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Having no depression and anxiety
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?
Maternity clothes
34. What kept you sane?
Anti-depressants
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
...I can't think of anyone.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Pretty much all of them. It was a terrible year, politically speaking
37. Who did you miss?
My mom and seester
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't meet a lot of new people
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:
Leave for the hospital earlier than you think is necessary
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
??
Saturday, December 23, 2017
Friday, December 15, 2017
This and That
We got our Christmas tree up, and Aaron put lights on the house (which we haven't done in a while). There are a lot of gifts under the tree. All the stockings are full, except Bronwyn. What do you put in a stocking for a 5 month old? So far she has socks in it. I may get her another chewy toy. We aren't doing Santa. So that's why the stockings are full. Bertram asks every morning if it's time to open presents. Yesterday, he said "We need to buy a present to send to Nana, for the baby". I told him the baby is with us, and Nana has toys. He said "No, the other baby!" He was talking about his (step) cousin, Lawson. That was really cute, and sweet. I'm pretty excited to see him open his gifts. And he wants to help Bronwyn open hers too.
Christmas is a hard time for me. It's a bit better this year, than in years past. It's an odd feeling. And I'd guess non-depressed people don't understand. I'll go out to buy gifts, or whatever. And I'll be really excited. Then all of a sudden, it just hits. I don't even know how to describe it.
Aaron and I went to a parenting class for disciplining the willful child. It was really informative, and helpful. Also, I've started to get up when Aaron does, make the bed, get dressed. Otherwise, we stay in our jammies too long and watch too much tv. His screen time has been increasing exponentially lately. I've cut him back to an hour (30 on the table, 30 on tv or youTube). He's been finding ways to stay busy. He plays with play doh for an hour at a time (or more), blocks, other art projects. He loves playing in flour. What I need to work on is more outside time. I need to clean up the back yard (hopefully tomorrow). Pick up the dog poop, pull the weeds, more room to play. Or walk to the park more. (Our jogging stroller has a flat tire, I need to order a new intertube).
The kids have been amazing lately. I feel so lucky everyday to be their mommy, and to be able to stay home with them. I'm grateful that Aaron works hard at a job that isn't his dream, so that we have amazing insurance and I can be home. I talked to Bertram about preschool, and he said he didn't want to go to school, he wanted to stay with me. (Preschool may not be an option. The cheapest preschool around here is about $300 a month, for 2 half-days a week. There is a free preschool through our school district (which I'm looking into), but my guess is that we make too much money to qualify, even though, around here we are definitely in the the low to middle income bracket).
Bertram is still amazing with Bronwyn. He is a great helper, when I need him to get something for me. He is generally happy, he's really creative. He knows way too much about the solar system and geography. He loves maps. He has finally started drawing something other than "marble mazes" (aka scribbles), he's drawing maps. He talks about traveling to different places. We've started reading some. He has a lot of sight words. He's not too interested in phonics yet. He loves helping in the kitchen, he always wants to bake. He is affectionate with the whole family. And he is a funny kid. We were at Safeway yesterday, and we wanted to get something to drink (lemonade for him, diet coke for me). We were waiting for the guy and the counter, he came over, and Bertram pointed to the cups and said "We'd like two drinks please".
Bronwyn is almost 5 months old. She is generally a happy kid. She wakes up from a nap, I go in and talk to her, and she'll pop her head up and just smile. She is the cutest thing. She is a big drooler. I keep thinking she is teething, but nothing yet. She's chewing on everything. She's started playing with toys, she loves rings, and taggie toys. She likes playing on her tummy, and grabbing daddy's beard. She wants to crawl, but she's not coordinated enough. She loves baths. Bron is a major thumb sucker. She is still a good nurser. (I'm still wheat free for her). She has a dimple (almost two)
I just feel so lucky to have great kids, and to be their mom.
Christmas is a hard time for me. It's a bit better this year, than in years past. It's an odd feeling. And I'd guess non-depressed people don't understand. I'll go out to buy gifts, or whatever. And I'll be really excited. Then all of a sudden, it just hits. I don't even know how to describe it.
Aaron and I went to a parenting class for disciplining the willful child. It was really informative, and helpful. Also, I've started to get up when Aaron does, make the bed, get dressed. Otherwise, we stay in our jammies too long and watch too much tv. His screen time has been increasing exponentially lately. I've cut him back to an hour (30 on the table, 30 on tv or youTube). He's been finding ways to stay busy. He plays with play doh for an hour at a time (or more), blocks, other art projects. He loves playing in flour. What I need to work on is more outside time. I need to clean up the back yard (hopefully tomorrow). Pick up the dog poop, pull the weeds, more room to play. Or walk to the park more. (Our jogging stroller has a flat tire, I need to order a new intertube).
The kids have been amazing lately. I feel so lucky everyday to be their mommy, and to be able to stay home with them. I'm grateful that Aaron works hard at a job that isn't his dream, so that we have amazing insurance and I can be home. I talked to Bertram about preschool, and he said he didn't want to go to school, he wanted to stay with me. (Preschool may not be an option. The cheapest preschool around here is about $300 a month, for 2 half-days a week. There is a free preschool through our school district (which I'm looking into), but my guess is that we make too much money to qualify, even though, around here we are definitely in the the low to middle income bracket).
Bertram is still amazing with Bronwyn. He is a great helper, when I need him to get something for me. He is generally happy, he's really creative. He knows way too much about the solar system and geography. He loves maps. He has finally started drawing something other than "marble mazes" (aka scribbles), he's drawing maps. He talks about traveling to different places. We've started reading some. He has a lot of sight words. He's not too interested in phonics yet. He loves helping in the kitchen, he always wants to bake. He is affectionate with the whole family. And he is a funny kid. We were at Safeway yesterday, and we wanted to get something to drink (lemonade for him, diet coke for me). We were waiting for the guy and the counter, he came over, and Bertram pointed to the cups and said "We'd like two drinks please".
Bronwyn is almost 5 months old. She is generally a happy kid. She wakes up from a nap, I go in and talk to her, and she'll pop her head up and just smile. She is the cutest thing. She is a big drooler. I keep thinking she is teething, but nothing yet. She's chewing on everything. She's started playing with toys, she loves rings, and taggie toys. She likes playing on her tummy, and grabbing daddy's beard. She wants to crawl, but she's not coordinated enough. She loves baths. Bron is a major thumb sucker. She is still a good nurser. (I'm still wheat free for her). She has a dimple (almost two)
I just feel so lucky to have great kids, and to be their mom.
Sunday, November 19, 2017
I have a bad memory
I want to write all about our trip to Virginia, but I don't have my daily journal in front of me, so I probably won't remember enough details.
The flight out was good. The kids both did very well. We only had 55 minutes to make our connection in Chicago (well, less. It was 55 minutes til the next plane left). So I had to hustle Bertie across the airport. We had a long way between gates. The second flight was pretty bumpy. And of course, on that one, he needed to go to the bathroom 3 times. (Three times in 2 hours.) I felt bad for him though. He really needed to poop. And it was when it was bumpy and the flight attendant was serving drinks. I push the call button, and she moved for us, but it was just a little too late (just a skid mark, but he never has accidents).
My mom has a port-a-crib for Bronwyn (in the room where I was sleeping) and a twin bed for Bertram. Bronwyn slept well overall, especially after I moved her crib into the walk in closet. She was sleeping for 8-9 hours a night! Bertram did so-so. Every night at bed time, he would start a chorus of "I want to go home". He was really sad, and I felt very sad for him. We gave him melatonin most nights, to help him settle. Once he was asleep, he did fairly well. But he did wake up early quite a bit.
While we were there, I started and stopped eating wheat. It seems to be what is upsetting Bron. She gets rashy and gassy. (Being wheat free is really annoying.) So I found different gluten-free things to eat.
The weather was dreary for most of the trip. Drizzle, rain, and a lot of cold. So we didn't get outside as much as I would have liked. Usually we do a lot of walking, but hardly did any this time.
We got to see my Nanny a couple of times, and two of my aunts. We did a fair amount of shopping. I got to hang out with my sister a lot, and see her new house(I can't believe my little sister is a homeowner).
Aaron flew out after a week to hang out too. We took Bertram to the trampoline park one day. I am very out of shape. He had fun, but he's still not jumping.
The flights home were fine. We had to get up at 4am, but other than that there were no issues. Both kids did fairly well. Bertie slept for an hour or 2. He had a small melt down, but he's 3 and a half, and sitting still that long is no fun.
Since we've been home, his sleep patterns haven't been very good. He's very tired and will be asleep by 8 every night, but he'll wake up between 5-6 and not go back to sleep. Then he is really tired throughout the day, but won't nap. And then is a really grump. Hopefully, he'll get back into the rhythm soon.
Bronwyn is 4 months old today. She is sleeping 7-9 hours at night, and naps throughout the day (not really on any schedule yet). She rolls over both ways. She likes sitting in the bumbo seat, and holds her head up well. She pushes up onto her arms when laying on her tummy. She loves smiling. She doesn't laugh much (only Rebecca has made her laugh so far). She doesn't vocalize much either. She loves sucking on her fingers, or thumb. Her eyes are starting to become a grey/brown/green. I think she looks more like me, at least for now. She is still a great nurser. And I'll probably wait until 6 months to start introducing food (unless she really shows interest earlier).
Bertram has gotten really interested in maps. He loves geography. He can name all the states and most (or all) the capitals. He knows some of the countries/continents, and oceans. He also likes the solar system. He knows all the planets, some of the moons, and some dwarf planets. He knows a lot of sight words, but isn't sounding out words yet. He watches a lot of youtube videos about these subjects. He likes Phineas and Ferb, SpongeBob, and Teen Titans Go. (Though, we really only watch Phineas and Ferb regularly). He loves reading, and we go to the library every two or three weeks. He still can't really say "S" sounds. (Mississippi sound like Mi-i-i-ppi). He likes a lot of different foods, lately he's been into cheeseburgers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He loves Bronwyn, and being a big brother.
I have to say, as hard as it is sometimes, I really love being these kids mom. I think about a third sometimes (already). And, I'd love to have another. But I think two might be our number. Our house is fairly small, and there is a lot of expense that comes with a third (bigger car, traveling gets harder and costlier). Plus, I worry about Bronwyn becoming a middle child. As a middle child, I can say it's not a great place in the birth order. However, I love my little sister, and can't imagine how things would be without her. It's still up in the air, and there is time to decide. But that's where I'm at currently.
The flight out was good. The kids both did very well. We only had 55 minutes to make our connection in Chicago (well, less. It was 55 minutes til the next plane left). So I had to hustle Bertie across the airport. We had a long way between gates. The second flight was pretty bumpy. And of course, on that one, he needed to go to the bathroom 3 times. (Three times in 2 hours.) I felt bad for him though. He really needed to poop. And it was when it was bumpy and the flight attendant was serving drinks. I push the call button, and she moved for us, but it was just a little too late (just a skid mark, but he never has accidents).
My mom has a port-a-crib for Bronwyn (in the room where I was sleeping) and a twin bed for Bertram. Bronwyn slept well overall, especially after I moved her crib into the walk in closet. She was sleeping for 8-9 hours a night! Bertram did so-so. Every night at bed time, he would start a chorus of "I want to go home". He was really sad, and I felt very sad for him. We gave him melatonin most nights, to help him settle. Once he was asleep, he did fairly well. But he did wake up early quite a bit.
While we were there, I started and stopped eating wheat. It seems to be what is upsetting Bron. She gets rashy and gassy. (Being wheat free is really annoying.) So I found different gluten-free things to eat.
The weather was dreary for most of the trip. Drizzle, rain, and a lot of cold. So we didn't get outside as much as I would have liked. Usually we do a lot of walking, but hardly did any this time.
We got to see my Nanny a couple of times, and two of my aunts. We did a fair amount of shopping. I got to hang out with my sister a lot, and see her new house(I can't believe my little sister is a homeowner).
Aaron flew out after a week to hang out too. We took Bertram to the trampoline park one day. I am very out of shape. He had fun, but he's still not jumping.
The flights home were fine. We had to get up at 4am, but other than that there were no issues. Both kids did fairly well. Bertie slept for an hour or 2. He had a small melt down, but he's 3 and a half, and sitting still that long is no fun.
Since we've been home, his sleep patterns haven't been very good. He's very tired and will be asleep by 8 every night, but he'll wake up between 5-6 and not go back to sleep. Then he is really tired throughout the day, but won't nap. And then is a really grump. Hopefully, he'll get back into the rhythm soon.
Bronwyn is 4 months old today. She is sleeping 7-9 hours at night, and naps throughout the day (not really on any schedule yet). She rolls over both ways. She likes sitting in the bumbo seat, and holds her head up well. She pushes up onto her arms when laying on her tummy. She loves smiling. She doesn't laugh much (only Rebecca has made her laugh so far). She doesn't vocalize much either. She loves sucking on her fingers, or thumb. Her eyes are starting to become a grey/brown/green. I think she looks more like me, at least for now. She is still a great nurser. And I'll probably wait until 6 months to start introducing food (unless she really shows interest earlier).
Bertram has gotten really interested in maps. He loves geography. He can name all the states and most (or all) the capitals. He knows some of the countries/continents, and oceans. He also likes the solar system. He knows all the planets, some of the moons, and some dwarf planets. He knows a lot of sight words, but isn't sounding out words yet. He watches a lot of youtube videos about these subjects. He likes Phineas and Ferb, SpongeBob, and Teen Titans Go. (Though, we really only watch Phineas and Ferb regularly). He loves reading, and we go to the library every two or three weeks. He still can't really say "S" sounds. (Mississippi sound like Mi-i-i-ppi). He likes a lot of different foods, lately he's been into cheeseburgers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He loves Bronwyn, and being a big brother.
I have to say, as hard as it is sometimes, I really love being these kids mom. I think about a third sometimes (already). And, I'd love to have another. But I think two might be our number. Our house is fairly small, and there is a lot of expense that comes with a third (bigger car, traveling gets harder and costlier). Plus, I worry about Bronwyn becoming a middle child. As a middle child, I can say it's not a great place in the birth order. However, I love my little sister, and can't imagine how things would be without her. It's still up in the air, and there is time to decide. But that's where I'm at currently.
Waiting to get on the plane
Rebecca loves baby snuggles
Blurry, fashion baby
Bertram and Rami
The night no kids wanted to sleep
Bertram and Nana
Reading
Four generations (all ladies)
Four generations
Bronwyn's fuzzy head
Bertie fell asleep across my lap, and Bron was nursing
Another cute outfit
I love them.
Monday, October 23, 2017
A pile of neuroses
I have come to realized that my baseline is a constant state of worry. Since having Bronwyn my anxieties have gotten worse.
I get stuck in these loops are terrible things that happen to children; the real life monsters lurking in the shadows. I worry there will be a fire, and I won't be able to get to them. And it's weird stuff that sets this off, putting Bertie's underwear away, seeing a picture of a smiling child. And the less weird things that set it off, terrible stories, events, accidents.
Then there are the "normal" worries:
- Am I giving Bertram enough attention since baby came along?
- Is the baby getting enough interactive time with me?
- Do I hover too much in an effort to keep them safe?
- Am I doing enough with Bertram, intellectually? I can't get him to write letters or draw, he only wants to draw "marble mazes," which are scribbles.
- Will I ever lose the baby weight (or even some of it)?
- Will I ever feel like having sex again?
- Why can't I make myself exercise?
- Why does Bertram wake up in the middle of the night (almost every night)?
- Will we ever be able to have a decent amount in our savings account?
- How can I make friends?
- Why does everyone else seem like they're having so much fun?
- Will I ever feel successful?
- Am I taking the time to do self care? (no.) How can I make time?
- Will I stopped feeling gypped by my experience with Bronwyn's birth?
- Will the house ever look un-exploded?
- Why doesn't Bronwyn poop very often?
- Why is my comfort zone so uncomfortable?
- How much of this can be attributed to PPD? How much is just me?
- Does anyone ever feel "good enough"? If so, how?
Then there is envy. I was thinking about an acquaintance from church, and how seemingly perfect things are for her. She and her husband own a beautiful house, their kids are well behaved, and speak two languages. They can jet off for international travel without much saving. The kids are in various private lessons. She's beautiful, thin, and is always well dressed (even in yoga pants and a t-shirt. (How do people do that?) And I felt so jealous. Then I felt like a shitty person for feeling jealous. No one should begrudge anyone else's happiness. Plus, I, of course, don't know what is going on inside her head.
Anyway, I just wanted to get it all out, in hopes I would feel a little better. But I don't. I need to email my shrink.
(PS- Don't get too worried. I'm not suicidal, or anything. Just sad, and anxious).
Thursday, October 12, 2017
Bertram interview (42.5 months)
1. What
is something mommy always says to you? Blah
2. What
makes you happy? Daddy
3. What
makes you sad? When you walk past me
4. What
makes you laugh? Tee-tee. All the
things you just said (tv? Books? Daddy?)
5. How
old are you? Three and a half
6. How
old is Mommy? 9
7. How
old is Daddy? 3
8. What is your
favorite thing to do? Laugh! Haha!
9. Who
is your best friend? Kaylee! (his cousin)
10.
What do you want to be when you grow up? A person, or
something. I don’t know.
11.
What are you really good at? (Shows me he can
open the fridge and freezer)
12.
What are you not very good at? Dancing, 'cause I
keep falling down
13.
What did you do today? Hurt myself. Walked funny.
14.
What is your favorite food? Macaroni and spaghetti!
15.
What is your favorite song? ABC and 123 and the itsy bitsy spider
16.
What do you want for your birthday this year? Get lots of
presents. And I’ll open them all up. And
I’ll need Kaylee’s help.
17.
What is your favorite animal? Penguin!
18. What is love? Kiss!
19.
What does daddy do for work? He goes to work, to
work.
20.
Where do you live? (says address correctly) Sacramento California (We don't live in Sacramento)
21.
Where is your favorite place to go? My swimming lessons,
when my teacher wasn’t there
Monday, October 9, 2017
Another Catch-up
I really should remember to blog more often. Time just gets away, I guess.
My tooth is completely done. I got my real crown a couple weeks ago. The EoB came in the mail today. It looks like it's going to cost a lot less than was estimated, but I'm waiting for a call back from their office.
After waffling for a while, I finally got our tickets to go to Virginia. There is a new thing called Basic Economy (aka garbage flying). You pay $400 for a ticket, but you can't have a carry on and you can't choose your seat. I accidentally bought these tickets to start with. I'm not sure why they would let someone flying with a 3 year old book those to begin with, as it specifically says families won't be seated together. It seems like the the top 4 airlines reporting billions in profits, one wouldn't have to pay $400+ and then another $25 for the suitcases to fly too. Grumble. Anyway, that got sorted out, but airlines are lame.
Bronwyn is getting better at sleeping. Not great, but improved. Most nights she starts out in her own bed. But usually after a night feeding, I'm too tired to put her back.
The elimination diet seems to be going well. So far I've added wheat and dairy back. She had no issues with dairy, wheat is still questionable. I added wheat in about 5 days ago. Her tummy hasn't been more upset, but she seems more grumpy than usual.
Bertram has been acting out more. I'm going to look into a class through Kaiser to see if we can get some ideas. Nothing seems to work.
Bertie had a dentist appointment today (his second ever). He did really well at his first one, but today wasn't great. He wouldn't let them do much of anything. But his teeth look fine, and his 3 year molars came in at some point in the last 6 months. Who knew?
Bertram also went fishing for the first time today. He went with his dad and papa. They didn't catch any fish, but he seemed to have fun, and also enjoyed throwing rocks.
There are a bunch of fires 80 miles north of us, but the air here is terrible. I wanted to take the kids for a walk, but I didn't want them in the crummy air any longer than necessary. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Here are pictures from the last month:
My tooth is completely done. I got my real crown a couple weeks ago. The EoB came in the mail today. It looks like it's going to cost a lot less than was estimated, but I'm waiting for a call back from their office.
After waffling for a while, I finally got our tickets to go to Virginia. There is a new thing called Basic Economy (aka garbage flying). You pay $400 for a ticket, but you can't have a carry on and you can't choose your seat. I accidentally bought these tickets to start with. I'm not sure why they would let someone flying with a 3 year old book those to begin with, as it specifically says families won't be seated together. It seems like the the top 4 airlines reporting billions in profits, one wouldn't have to pay $400+ and then another $25 for the suitcases to fly too. Grumble. Anyway, that got sorted out, but airlines are lame.
Bronwyn is getting better at sleeping. Not great, but improved. Most nights she starts out in her own bed. But usually after a night feeding, I'm too tired to put her back.
The elimination diet seems to be going well. So far I've added wheat and dairy back. She had no issues with dairy, wheat is still questionable. I added wheat in about 5 days ago. Her tummy hasn't been more upset, but she seems more grumpy than usual.
Bertram has been acting out more. I'm going to look into a class through Kaiser to see if we can get some ideas. Nothing seems to work.
Bertie had a dentist appointment today (his second ever). He did really well at his first one, but today wasn't great. He wouldn't let them do much of anything. But his teeth look fine, and his 3 year molars came in at some point in the last 6 months. Who knew?
Bertram also went fishing for the first time today. He went with his dad and papa. They didn't catch any fish, but he seemed to have fun, and also enjoyed throwing rocks.
There are a bunch of fires 80 miles north of us, but the air here is terrible. I wanted to take the kids for a walk, but I didn't want them in the crummy air any longer than necessary. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Here are pictures from the last month:
Bronwyn's first ER visit. She was fine, but she had a high fever (which disappeared when we arrived)
We went to Happy Hallow one day. They both had fun.
Bertie helping with Bronwyn's 2 month pictures
Grumpy girl
Despite being difficult, he is also incredibly sweet.
He got a haircut
Brony got this cute outfit.
Bertram's Halloween costume, that he changed his mind about as soon as it arrived. (He's not getting a different costume)
We officially have a thumbsucker.
Thursday, September 7, 2017
Quick catch up
I'm done with my root canal for now. I go back to get my crown next week.
Something I've been eating has been bothering Bronwyn's tummy. About a week and a half ago, I started an elimination diet. This means no: wheat, corn, soy, eggs, dairy, peanuts, or treenuts. It is challenging to find packaged foods I can eat (and also not spend a fortune). I've been doing rice krispies or chex for brekkie. Oatmeal would be ok, but I haven't been in an oatmeal mood lately. I've been drinking coconut or flax milk (the flax is better than the coconut). I found some rye flour and rye crackers, sunflower butter, sesame crackers, rice cakes, most meats, rice and veg. I've tried a few allergen free dessert recipes, with mixed success. It is difficult to find food without soy and corn. Corn syrup is in EVERYTHING. Anyway, it's miserable, and sad. And it seems to be upsetting my tummy some. But she seems to be improving, slowing.
Bronwyn hasn't been sleeping well. She doesn't sleep in her own bed, at all. And this whole week, the earliest I've been able to get her to sleep is 2am (that was only one night, it was after 3 the other two). So I'm exhausted and she's a grump.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm a little brain dead.
Something I've been eating has been bothering Bronwyn's tummy. About a week and a half ago, I started an elimination diet. This means no: wheat, corn, soy, eggs, dairy, peanuts, or treenuts. It is challenging to find packaged foods I can eat (and also not spend a fortune). I've been doing rice krispies or chex for brekkie. Oatmeal would be ok, but I haven't been in an oatmeal mood lately. I've been drinking coconut or flax milk (the flax is better than the coconut). I found some rye flour and rye crackers, sunflower butter, sesame crackers, rice cakes, most meats, rice and veg. I've tried a few allergen free dessert recipes, with mixed success. It is difficult to find food without soy and corn. Corn syrup is in EVERYTHING. Anyway, it's miserable, and sad. And it seems to be upsetting my tummy some. But she seems to be improving, slowing.
Bronwyn hasn't been sleeping well. She doesn't sleep in her own bed, at all. And this whole week, the earliest I've been able to get her to sleep is 2am (that was only one night, it was after 3 the other two). So I'm exhausted and she's a grump.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm a little brain dead.
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
The good and the bad.
Things are looking up from my last post. I've healed without issue (4 weeks post partum tomorrow).
Bronwyn is still not a great sleeper, unless she is at the boob or being held. Thus far, her crib and bassinet have been mostly unused. She is a good nurser, and I'm able to pump quite a bit now. I'm slowly building up a surplus.
Last week we went to the beach, the four of us. It was a beautiful day. We saw whales and an otter. I made Bronwyn a little tent and she slept the whole time. Bertie played in the ocean (a first for him). We all were wet and sandy, but only Bertie had a change of clothes. We went and got ice cream before going home. A good time was had by all. Both the kids slept on the way home.
Last week my jaw started hurting. I saw a doctor on Saturday (hoping that a sinus infection was causing the pain). It wasn't. When Sunday came, I was in terrible pain. Aaron called an emergency dentist and I went in on Sunday afternoon. She said it looked like there was a cavity under the filling, and to see my regular dentist. But she gave me a short Rx for Norco. That helped quite a bit. On Monday I went to see my normal dentist. He did another xray, and said I needed a root canal. That was not what I wanted to hear. I was scheduled to see the endodontist today. I was very nervous, I'm not good with dental stuff and I'm a very anxious patient. I sat in the chair crying, and the dentist was very patient with me. And, of course, after the first injection it didn't hurt at all. Now my medicine is worn off, and it's hurting a bit again. But not nearly as much as it was. I need to go back next week to finish it. Then eventually to my regular guy will put a crown in it.
Aaron's paternity leave is half over tomorrow. :-(
Bronwyn is still not a great sleeper, unless she is at the boob or being held. Thus far, her crib and bassinet have been mostly unused. She is a good nurser, and I'm able to pump quite a bit now. I'm slowly building up a surplus.
Last week we went to the beach, the four of us. It was a beautiful day. We saw whales and an otter. I made Bronwyn a little tent and she slept the whole time. Bertie played in the ocean (a first for him). We all were wet and sandy, but only Bertie had a change of clothes. We went and got ice cream before going home. A good time was had by all. Both the kids slept on the way home.
Last week my jaw started hurting. I saw a doctor on Saturday (hoping that a sinus infection was causing the pain). It wasn't. When Sunday came, I was in terrible pain. Aaron called an emergency dentist and I went in on Sunday afternoon. She said it looked like there was a cavity under the filling, and to see my regular dentist. But she gave me a short Rx for Norco. That helped quite a bit. On Monday I went to see my normal dentist. He did another xray, and said I needed a root canal. That was not what I wanted to hear. I was scheduled to see the endodontist today. I was very nervous, I'm not good with dental stuff and I'm a very anxious patient. I sat in the chair crying, and the dentist was very patient with me. And, of course, after the first injection it didn't hurt at all. Now my medicine is worn off, and it's hurting a bit again. But not nearly as much as it was. I need to go back next week to finish it. Then eventually to my regular guy will put a crown in it.
Aaron's paternity leave is half over tomorrow. :-(
Saturday, July 22, 2017
A whiny TMI kind of post
I am three days post-partum and everything hurts.
I expected different. All the accounts I'd heard of unmedicated birth made it sound super awesome. You feel great afterwards, you really get to bond with your baby, It's so much less painful than a c-section, etc. I don't feel that way. Maybe I'm a bigger wimp (than most people) when it comes to pain, but I did not feel great afterwards. Everything hurt so much. I needed stitches, that was painful, plus there was a lot of pressure (I'm not sure from what) which was also painful. Bronwyn had to be checked for meconium, so I didn't get the super long bonding time. And, really, I just felt so gross after, I was dripping with sweat, there was a lot of blood, amniotic fluid and whatever else (poop? no clue, but I wouldn't be surprised). I would have loved to hop up and shower, but I couldn't do that right away either.
I guess I'm not cut out to be a natural birth person.
Now, three days later, I don't feel like any of the pain has improved. Everything downstairs still hurts, and I'm a little concerned that I've torn a stitch. I was really concerned about having to poop, since everything is so painful. But that finally happened today, and wasn't too bad. But walking, moving, scooting in a seat, getting in and out of bed, it all hurts. A little like I'm falling apart. To top it off, breastfeeding isn't going as well as last time. We went to the newborn clinic today, and she's lost more weight, she's at 9%, since birth. They weighed her before and after nursing, and she didn't get much. My milk isn't really in yet, isn't still more colostrum-y, so there isn't a lot. (I've pumped a couple times, and gotten less than an ounce both times (when pumped from both sides)), We're going back to clinic tomorrow to try again. But we may need to supplement with formula til my milk comes in more. I'm not too concerned about this. Lord knows, my nipples would welcome the break. But I'm concerned that my supply might always be low. So I don't know. I do know I feel terrible now, because I dread when she wakes up, because she needs to eat, and it hurts so much. They looked at her latch, and said it was fine, so I assume it's because my nipples haven't toughened yet. But to not be able to feed your kid adequately and be in terrible pain at the same time is a double whammy.
And I know this too shall pass. And in a week or so, everything will likely be much improved. But this is where I am, today.
I expected different. All the accounts I'd heard of unmedicated birth made it sound super awesome. You feel great afterwards, you really get to bond with your baby, It's so much less painful than a c-section, etc. I don't feel that way. Maybe I'm a bigger wimp (than most people) when it comes to pain, but I did not feel great afterwards. Everything hurt so much. I needed stitches, that was painful, plus there was a lot of pressure (I'm not sure from what) which was also painful. Bronwyn had to be checked for meconium, so I didn't get the super long bonding time. And, really, I just felt so gross after, I was dripping with sweat, there was a lot of blood, amniotic fluid and whatever else (poop? no clue, but I wouldn't be surprised). I would have loved to hop up and shower, but I couldn't do that right away either.
I guess I'm not cut out to be a natural birth person.
Now, three days later, I don't feel like any of the pain has improved. Everything downstairs still hurts, and I'm a little concerned that I've torn a stitch. I was really concerned about having to poop, since everything is so painful. But that finally happened today, and wasn't too bad. But walking, moving, scooting in a seat, getting in and out of bed, it all hurts. A little like I'm falling apart. To top it off, breastfeeding isn't going as well as last time. We went to the newborn clinic today, and she's lost more weight, she's at 9%, since birth. They weighed her before and after nursing, and she didn't get much. My milk isn't really in yet, isn't still more colostrum-y, so there isn't a lot. (I've pumped a couple times, and gotten less than an ounce both times (when pumped from both sides)), We're going back to clinic tomorrow to try again. But we may need to supplement with formula til my milk comes in more. I'm not too concerned about this. Lord knows, my nipples would welcome the break. But I'm concerned that my supply might always be low. So I don't know. I do know I feel terrible now, because I dread when she wakes up, because she needs to eat, and it hurts so much. They looked at her latch, and said it was fine, so I assume it's because my nipples haven't toughened yet. But to not be able to feed your kid adequately and be in terrible pain at the same time is a double whammy.
And I know this too shall pass. And in a week or so, everything will likely be much improved. But this is where I am, today.
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
She is here!
At 39 weeks and 2 days Bronwyn Alice came charging into the world.
The whole pregnancy, I had assumed she would be early. Bertram was nearly a month early. I heard that second babies often come earlier than the first. So I waited and waited. I had some random contractions/ Braxton-Hicks for the last three weeks. I kept watching to the mucus plug, a bloody show, anything that would tell me the time was near, but nothing happened.
So, since she wasn't going to be early, I started counting down til my mom arrived. I really wanted her to be there, especially since Aaron really isn't comfortable around blood, and my mom worked as a nurse for 35+ years. So last night around 9, my mom arrived.
I woke up around 2 or 2:30 this morning, from a contraction. Not a very strong, or painful one, So I laid around for a while, and had a few more. Aaron woke up and suggested I time them, which didn't occur to me, for some reason. I think because they seemed irregular. After an hour of timing, they were 4 minutes apart, lasting a minute each. (In the birthing class, the teacher said for second babies follow 7-1-1 (7 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for at least an hour)). I called L&D, they asked how I was feeling. I said the contractions weren't too bad. The said to drink 2 big glasses of water and take an hour-long shower, then lay down. I drank, and lasted 40 minutes in the shower, and then laid down. It was probably almost 6 at this point, and the contractions were getting worse. Aaron said, we'll we probably need to get ready to go. Mom asked if she had time to shower. I said sure, it seemed like there was a lot of time still. Aaron's folks came over to stay with Bertie at 6:45, and we took off for Kaiser.
The contractions were getting worse. We got to Kaiser a little before 7. Aaron dropped off my mom and me and went to park. We walked in, and then I was on the floor on all fours in front of the elevator. An orderly asked if I needed a wheelchair, I said no. Then he asked again, and I said "well, I won't be a hero." I got wheeled up for floor 5, crying and grunting the whole way.
We got to the desk, and the nurse said "what can we do for you today?" I said "I'm having a baby."
I got a room, got changed, was feeling "pushy". The midwife came in, and checked me. I was expecting to be a 5 or 6. Then she said the words that filled me with dread: "Alright, you're dialated to 9cm! So you can start pushing when you're ready." I said "but can I still have an epidural?" (I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway). She said it was too late, that if she broke my water, baby would come quickly. I was in a lot of pain. So I asked for NO2, as it was supposed to help. (Spoiler alert: it didn't). I used it some, but gave up quickly, because I couldn't feel a difference. I also was worried about GBS, since i was positive, I knew I needed the antibiotics. They hooked it up, but I didn't get much before everything was over with.
I was writhing around on the bed, crying, groaning, and making all sorts of embarrassing sounds. Then my water broke. But not just broke, like exploded across the room, all over the midwife, and the other nurse. I was also so sweaty. The iv tape wouldn't stick to my skin.
I was still screaming, crying and groaning (and probably other sounds). The nurses and Dr (who came in after I drenched the midwife), took the bed apart, and had me curl up to push. To be honest, it was terrible, and I wouldn't recommend it. Epidurals are so nice. And I will be the first to admit I am no badass. It felt like I was pushing for a long time. It was probably 10-15 minutes total, maybe less. At one point the Dr said the head was halfway out, and I think I said "pull her out!", which of course, didn't happen. My legs wouldn't stop trembling, which meant, I couldn't curl up to push very well. I know I said at least once that I couldn't do it (which is something I swore I'd never say while giving birth). Her head came out, so I assumed the pain was done (since that's presumably the hardest part). But the rest hurt too. Also, I had my eyes close almost the whole time, not sure why).
At 7:35am Bronwyn was here. 6lbs12oz, 18 inches long. Fairly small, but almost 1.5 lbs more than Bertie. She was waxy, and not crying too much, and didn't have a cone-head.
The placenta hurt some too. I had a 2nd degree tear, and I may have gotten cut before hand, I'm not sure. The stitching hurt, I got a lot of lidocane, and an injection of Fentanyl. But it hurt. And baby was over having her weight, and getting checked out (there was some slight mecronium staining.
Then I got her back, and she immediately started rooting, and latched quickly and well.
My dad, Aaron's folks and Bertram came to met her.
Bronwyn ordered a MatchBox car garage for Bertie. He was really thrilled. And he was excited to hold her.
She had and passed her hearing test.
All in all, a pretty good day. She's nursed a bunch, has pooped 3 times and peed twice. And, unless something odd comes up, we'll be going home tomorrow.
I'm still in a decent amount of pain, but it's not bad, considering that all I've had is Tylenol and Motrin.
The whole pregnancy, I had assumed she would be early. Bertram was nearly a month early. I heard that second babies often come earlier than the first. So I waited and waited. I had some random contractions/ Braxton-Hicks for the last three weeks. I kept watching to the mucus plug, a bloody show, anything that would tell me the time was near, but nothing happened.
So, since she wasn't going to be early, I started counting down til my mom arrived. I really wanted her to be there, especially since Aaron really isn't comfortable around blood, and my mom worked as a nurse for 35+ years. So last night around 9, my mom arrived.
I woke up around 2 or 2:30 this morning, from a contraction. Not a very strong, or painful one, So I laid around for a while, and had a few more. Aaron woke up and suggested I time them, which didn't occur to me, for some reason. I think because they seemed irregular. After an hour of timing, they were 4 minutes apart, lasting a minute each. (In the birthing class, the teacher said for second babies follow 7-1-1 (7 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for at least an hour)). I called L&D, they asked how I was feeling. I said the contractions weren't too bad. The said to drink 2 big glasses of water and take an hour-long shower, then lay down. I drank, and lasted 40 minutes in the shower, and then laid down. It was probably almost 6 at this point, and the contractions were getting worse. Aaron said, we'll we probably need to get ready to go. Mom asked if she had time to shower. I said sure, it seemed like there was a lot of time still. Aaron's folks came over to stay with Bertie at 6:45, and we took off for Kaiser.
The contractions were getting worse. We got to Kaiser a little before 7. Aaron dropped off my mom and me and went to park. We walked in, and then I was on the floor on all fours in front of the elevator. An orderly asked if I needed a wheelchair, I said no. Then he asked again, and I said "well, I won't be a hero." I got wheeled up for floor 5, crying and grunting the whole way.
We got to the desk, and the nurse said "what can we do for you today?" I said "I'm having a baby."
I got a room, got changed, was feeling "pushy". The midwife came in, and checked me. I was expecting to be a 5 or 6. Then she said the words that filled me with dread: "Alright, you're dialated to 9cm! So you can start pushing when you're ready." I said "but can I still have an epidural?" (I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway). She said it was too late, that if she broke my water, baby would come quickly. I was in a lot of pain. So I asked for NO2, as it was supposed to help. (Spoiler alert: it didn't). I used it some, but gave up quickly, because I couldn't feel a difference. I also was worried about GBS, since i was positive, I knew I needed the antibiotics. They hooked it up, but I didn't get much before everything was over with.
I was writhing around on the bed, crying, groaning, and making all sorts of embarrassing sounds. Then my water broke. But not just broke, like exploded across the room, all over the midwife, and the other nurse. I was also so sweaty. The iv tape wouldn't stick to my skin.
I was still screaming, crying and groaning (and probably other sounds). The nurses and Dr (who came in after I drenched the midwife), took the bed apart, and had me curl up to push. To be honest, it was terrible, and I wouldn't recommend it. Epidurals are so nice. And I will be the first to admit I am no badass. It felt like I was pushing for a long time. It was probably 10-15 minutes total, maybe less. At one point the Dr said the head was halfway out, and I think I said "pull her out!", which of course, didn't happen. My legs wouldn't stop trembling, which meant, I couldn't curl up to push very well. I know I said at least once that I couldn't do it (which is something I swore I'd never say while giving birth). Her head came out, so I assumed the pain was done (since that's presumably the hardest part). But the rest hurt too. Also, I had my eyes close almost the whole time, not sure why).
At 7:35am Bronwyn was here. 6lbs12oz, 18 inches long. Fairly small, but almost 1.5 lbs more than Bertie. She was waxy, and not crying too much, and didn't have a cone-head.
The placenta hurt some too. I had a 2nd degree tear, and I may have gotten cut before hand, I'm not sure. The stitching hurt, I got a lot of lidocane, and an injection of Fentanyl. But it hurt. And baby was over having her weight, and getting checked out (there was some slight mecronium staining.
Then I got her back, and she immediately started rooting, and latched quickly and well.
Bronwyn ordered a MatchBox car garage for Bertie. He was really thrilled. And he was excited to hold her.
She had and passed her hearing test.
All in all, a pretty good day. She's nursed a bunch, has pooped 3 times and peed twice. And, unless something odd comes up, we'll be going home tomorrow.
I'm still in a decent amount of pain, but it's not bad, considering that all I've had is Tylenol and Motrin.
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Quick baby update
Yesterday was my 38 week appointment. Bertie came with me. The NP always lets him help, which is really nice. So he helped with the doppler. Heart sounds good, she's still head down.I asked for an internal, since I'd have a few random contractions. I was hoping for a little progress. But there really wasn't any. No dilation or effacement, only signs are that the cervix is soft, and baby has dropped a little. I'm getting fairly uncomfortable, so I'm ready when she is. Also, the NP said if I make if to my 40 week appointment, we can schedule an induction for 41 weeks. So there is an end in sight, but it's dragging along.
I think I'm going to get Bertram a gift to open when baby sister is born, and tell him it's from her. Maybe a hot wheels track.
Also, Aaron started his new job yesterday. He's still with the Social Services for the county, but he's a supervisor now. He says his office is really hot. But other than that things seem pretty good. He got to work in 12 minutes yesterday. That is a dream commute around here where people often spend an hour+ going to work.
How far along? 38 weeks
Total weight loss/gain: About 23lbs. I would have liked to kept it under 20, but I'm happy with 23, especially since I gained 40 with Bertie.
I think I'm going to get Bertram a gift to open when baby sister is born, and tell him it's from her. Maybe a hot wheels track.
Also, Aaron started his new job yesterday. He's still with the Social Services for the county, but he's a supervisor now. He says his office is really hot. But other than that things seem pretty good. He got to work in 12 minutes yesterday. That is a dream commute around here where people often spend an hour+ going to work.
How far along? 38 weeks
Total weight loss/gain: About 23lbs. I would have liked to kept it under 20, but I'm happy with 23, especially since I gained 40 with Bertie.
Maternity clothes? I'm currently wearing 0 maternity clothes, but I was doing yard work. Men's basketball shorts, and a very big t-shirt. Other than this it's all maternity clothes
Sleep: Not too bad. I remember not being able to get comfortable when I was pregnant the first time. I can get comfortable, but I sometimes have trouble falling asleep.
Sleep: Not too bad. I remember not being able to get comfortable when I was pregnant the first time. I can get comfortable, but I sometimes have trouble falling asleep.
Best moment this week: Lots of baby kicks and squiggles
Movement: She moves a lot, especially after I eat
Food cravings: Not too much. Kool-aid, surprisingly. I haven't been too hungry, and most food doesn't sound good.
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Nothing much. Braxton-hicks occasionally
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Nothing much. Braxton-hicks occasionally
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.
What I am looking forward to: Getting her room completely done. I'm waiting on a couple framed things from Target. (I ordered them before, and they arrived smashed. I reordered and am crossing my fingers. I'm just waiting on the wall stuff, the bassinet, crib, clothes, changing table, etc are ready. I'd probably ought to get out the breast pump, and make sure it's ready too.
Milestones: 38 weeks! Bertram was a week and a half old at this point!
Milestones: 38 weeks! Bertram was a week and a half old at this point!
Monday, July 3, 2017
Somehow it's been a month since I blogged. I suck.
Let's see what I can remember.
Our 12th anniversary came and went without fanfare. Between being 8 months pregnant, having a 3 year old and being poor, we didn't end up doing anything. I think sometime after baby is born we'll have a do-over. We had dinner at Chick-fil-a. Haha.
Last week my FiLs truck was stolen from in front of their house. It was his work truck, so all his tools were in it. We assumed we'd never see it again, or if we did, it wouldn't be driveable. Bertie and I came back from running errands today, and there it was, back in front of the house. Nothing was missing, nothing was broken. And, the weirdest thing, it was found one street over. So that had a happy ending. The police guessed maybe some kids wanted to go joy-riding, found they could, got scared, and left it.
Last week Aaron's co-workers threw us a baby shower.
It was really nice, and kind of fancy. We got a lot of diapers, and clothes. I'm making Aaron write all the thank you notes (since I did all of them from my shower).
Baby is measuring right on track. I've had some braxton-hicks, but nothing "real" yet. I had my GBS test last week. I'm positive. Lame, but no big deal. We have her room mostly ready, I need to put a few more things away, and hang up the wall decorations.
Aaron got a promotion at work! He was an EW2, now he'll be a supervisor. Usually, one has to be an EW3 first, but they liked him, so he gets to skip a step (which is really rare). So he'll make a good deal more money, and have a better commute. (I should mention that his commute was good before, about 30 minutes, which is practically unheard of around here, but his new one will be 15-20 minutes). So that's really exciting. His supervisor pay starts today, but he doesn't actually start the job til next week.
Today Fiona has a seizure. This happens once or twice a year. Generally it's not a big deal (as in the vet can't do much). But she was kind of running as she was seizing, and smacked her head into the bed frame. I picked her up, and she had cut her forehead open. I took her to the vet (which was fortunately open). They kept her for four hours. Gave her drugs to stop the seizure, and she got iv fluids. They glued her head back together, no stitches. They drew blood, but we won't have the results til Wednesday. I was talking to one of the vet techs about fireworks, and mentioned we'd given Yoie her anti-anxiety medication last night. The tech said that that medication can cause seizures in dogs that are already prone to seizures. That was good to know. She's currently still a little dopped up, so the few fireworks going off haven't bothered her. We'll see how tomorrow night goes. (Note: we have a thunder shirt for her, but putting it on her, makes her nervous.).
How far along? 37 weeks
Total weight loss/gain: About 20lbs
Let's see what I can remember.
Our 12th anniversary came and went without fanfare. Between being 8 months pregnant, having a 3 year old and being poor, we didn't end up doing anything. I think sometime after baby is born we'll have a do-over. We had dinner at Chick-fil-a. Haha.
Last week my FiLs truck was stolen from in front of their house. It was his work truck, so all his tools were in it. We assumed we'd never see it again, or if we did, it wouldn't be driveable. Bertie and I came back from running errands today, and there it was, back in front of the house. Nothing was missing, nothing was broken. And, the weirdest thing, it was found one street over. So that had a happy ending. The police guessed maybe some kids wanted to go joy-riding, found they could, got scared, and left it.
Last week Aaron's co-workers threw us a baby shower.
It was really nice, and kind of fancy. We got a lot of diapers, and clothes. I'm making Aaron write all the thank you notes (since I did all of them from my shower).
Baby is measuring right on track. I've had some braxton-hicks, but nothing "real" yet. I had my GBS test last week. I'm positive. Lame, but no big deal. We have her room mostly ready, I need to put a few more things away, and hang up the wall decorations.
Today Fiona has a seizure. This happens once or twice a year. Generally it's not a big deal (as in the vet can't do much). But she was kind of running as she was seizing, and smacked her head into the bed frame. I picked her up, and she had cut her forehead open. I took her to the vet (which was fortunately open). They kept her for four hours. Gave her drugs to stop the seizure, and she got iv fluids. They glued her head back together, no stitches. They drew blood, but we won't have the results til Wednesday. I was talking to one of the vet techs about fireworks, and mentioned we'd given Yoie her anti-anxiety medication last night. The tech said that that medication can cause seizures in dogs that are already prone to seizures. That was good to know. She's currently still a little dopped up, so the few fireworks going off haven't bothered her. We'll see how tomorrow night goes. (Note: we have a thunder shirt for her, but putting it on her, makes her nervous.).
How far along? 37 weeks
Total weight loss/gain: About 20lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes, please. I've been searching for a couple more nursing tops.
Sleep: Surprisingly, no real issues, except some insomnia. Once I'm asleep, I'm usually good.
Sleep: Surprisingly, no real issues, except some insomnia. Once I'm asleep, I'm usually good.
Best moment this week: Baby shower with Aaron's co-workers
Movement: She loves to dance
Food cravings: Otter pops, watermelon
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Some braxton-hicks, off and on. (By this time, Bertie was already born.)
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: Some braxton-hicks, off and on. (By this time, Bertie was already born.)
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting my girl
Milestones: We made it to full term!
Milestones: We made it to full term!
Thursday, June 8, 2017
I keep meaning to post more often, then I don't. Then I forget what I was going to say.
Today was the last day of Joy School and the last swimming lesson. I'm a little sad for them both to end, but it's also nice not to have weekly obligations. He did pretty well towards the end of Joy School, but it took a while to get there. I'd love to have him do preschool in the fall. I think it would be good for him, and it would give me a little more one on one time with baby. But the cheapest I've been able to find is about $200 a month (for 2 days a week). And I'm not sure we could easily afford it. We aren't low income enough for funding, but we can't afford it on our own either. I guess we'll see what happens. Aaron has applied for a couple of new positions, and his yearly raise is coming up. But I doubt preschool is in the cards.
Swimming was fun though. He's getting a lot more comfortable in the water. And he really enjoys it. Hopefully I'll be able to take him a few more times before baby comes. Next year he'll be big enough to take lessons on his own, and I'll take mommy/baby lessons with baby girl.
I'm in my 33rd week of pregnancy. It seems like I'm quickly running out of time. And yet, I still can't imagine the next step: having a daughter, being a mom to two. Is that weird? I'm sure I'll be attached when she's born, but... I'm not sure how to explain it. She feels foreign, even though she's here. Anyway, thus far everything is still looking good. I had my 32 week with an MD (as opposed to a nurse midwife, which I usually see). I talked to her about a VBAC. She said the odds (according to some algorithm) are only 46% in my favour, for a successful VBAC. I've been going back and forth about whether to try the VBAC or schedule a c-section straight away. My objection to trying was pain of labouring, and being super tired and then need a c-section anyway. Or worse, needing an emergency c-section like last time, and missing the whole thing. Plus I'd love to have the golden hour. I think, in the end, if I didn't at least try a VBAC I would always wonder if it could have happened. But we'll see what the 36 week appointment looks like. If she's breech, for example, I'll schedule the c-section. So really, it's up in the air, but I'm going to try a VBAC if possible.
I've been feeling crummy off and on. My anxiety has been very high. I had an anxiety attack at church a couple weeks ago, for no reason. (The same thing happened when I was pregnant with Bertie). I've been really tired, and my hips and back hurt off and on. And I've been having really bad indigestion. So bad that something like room temperature water would both me. My mom ordered me a couple cases of Boost with extra protein, so I have something somewhat healthy on those bad days (instead of nothing, or toast). My birthday was really bad, I had the indigestion, and nausea and sweats; it was like the first trimester all over again. I had to take a promethizine, then I was able to eat and drink normally. The day after that I ate everything, It was the first time in a while I'd actually felt hungry, so I ate. Then today I was up 5 lbs. How is that even possible? I don't have any other preclampsia symptoms, so it's not likely that. I'm hoping it's water weight. I've been eating more normally today.
How far along? 33 weeks 3 days
Total weight loss/gain: About 16 lbs, before the mysterious weight gain.
Today was the last day of Joy School and the last swimming lesson. I'm a little sad for them both to end, but it's also nice not to have weekly obligations. He did pretty well towards the end of Joy School, but it took a while to get there. I'd love to have him do preschool in the fall. I think it would be good for him, and it would give me a little more one on one time with baby. But the cheapest I've been able to find is about $200 a month (for 2 days a week). And I'm not sure we could easily afford it. We aren't low income enough for funding, but we can't afford it on our own either. I guess we'll see what happens. Aaron has applied for a couple of new positions, and his yearly raise is coming up. But I doubt preschool is in the cards.
Swimming was fun though. He's getting a lot more comfortable in the water. And he really enjoys it. Hopefully I'll be able to take him a few more times before baby comes. Next year he'll be big enough to take lessons on his own, and I'll take mommy/baby lessons with baby girl.
I'm in my 33rd week of pregnancy. It seems like I'm quickly running out of time. And yet, I still can't imagine the next step: having a daughter, being a mom to two. Is that weird? I'm sure I'll be attached when she's born, but... I'm not sure how to explain it. She feels foreign, even though she's here. Anyway, thus far everything is still looking good. I had my 32 week with an MD (as opposed to a nurse midwife, which I usually see). I talked to her about a VBAC. She said the odds (according to some algorithm) are only 46% in my favour, for a successful VBAC. I've been going back and forth about whether to try the VBAC or schedule a c-section straight away. My objection to trying was pain of labouring, and being super tired and then need a c-section anyway. Or worse, needing an emergency c-section like last time, and missing the whole thing. Plus I'd love to have the golden hour. I think, in the end, if I didn't at least try a VBAC I would always wonder if it could have happened. But we'll see what the 36 week appointment looks like. If she's breech, for example, I'll schedule the c-section. So really, it's up in the air, but I'm going to try a VBAC if possible.
I've been feeling crummy off and on. My anxiety has been very high. I had an anxiety attack at church a couple weeks ago, for no reason. (The same thing happened when I was pregnant with Bertie). I've been really tired, and my hips and back hurt off and on. And I've been having really bad indigestion. So bad that something like room temperature water would both me. My mom ordered me a couple cases of Boost with extra protein, so I have something somewhat healthy on those bad days (instead of nothing, or toast). My birthday was really bad, I had the indigestion, and nausea and sweats; it was like the first trimester all over again. I had to take a promethizine, then I was able to eat and drink normally. The day after that I ate everything, It was the first time in a while I'd actually felt hungry, so I ate. Then today I was up 5 lbs. How is that even possible? I don't have any other preclampsia symptoms, so it's not likely that. I'm hoping it's water weight. I've been eating more normally today.
How far along? 33 weeks 3 days
Total weight loss/gain: About 16 lbs, before the mysterious weight gain.
Maternity clothes? All. With the exception of mens basketball shorts, and a couple pairs of leggings.
Sleep: Not too many issues sleeping. I wake up a lot to pee (every 2 hours), but I can usually go back to sleep.
Sleep: Not too many issues sleeping. I wake up a lot to pee (every 2 hours), but I can usually go back to sleep.
Best moment this week: Getting the nursery in order.
Movement: Mostly evening, but also afternoons.
Food cravings: Turkey and cheese sandwich from Togos, or salad with blue cheese dressing. So, stuff I can't eat.
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl,
Labor Signs: None, thank goodness, not even braxton hicks.
What I miss: Moving freely
Food aversions: Garlic, onions, and sometimes raw veg
Gender: Girl,
Labor Signs: None, thank goodness, not even braxton hicks.
What I miss: Moving freely
What I am looking forward to: Less back pain
Milestones: Another viability milestone is a couple weeks away.
Milestones: Another viability milestone is a couple weeks away.
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