We all March on.

 Things went well with the surgeon.  The prognosis is very good.  The cancer is small.  The surgeon expects the surgery will take about an hour.  Her surgery will be at the end of October.  So she'll still be able to come to visit in a week and a half.

Oddly enough, my dad is having surgery on the same day.  His is much more complex and will take a lot longer.   

I went back to the dentist for my cleaning and crown installation.  The cleaning was fine.  Surprisingly, there were no glaring issues.  The crown wasn't quite right.  It needed to be about a millimeter longer.  So it got sent back to the lab.  It was supposed to e ready on Thursday, but the lab was running behind, so I'm going back on Tuesday.

Bertram's first soccer lesson wasn't great.  He spent a lot of time complaining.  But the lessons have gotten progressively better.  I think he would be good on a running team.  I may need to try to find one.  I signed him up for some yoga/mindfulness classes.  He didn't like it at all.  But he has three more, because I already paid for them.   

Bron had a cough, starting last Saturday.  So she was out of school on Monday and Tuesday.  She still has a lingering cough, but no more fever, and she's not feeling poorly anymore.

Bron had her first ballet/tap class last week.  She really likes it.  She isn't meant to be a dancer, but that's ok.  She's not the best listener.  

Aaron was going to go on the cub scout campout with Bronwyn, and possibly Bertram.  But it's while my mom is here.  Apparently, he said I was going to go too.  When he told me, I asked if he was joking.  I do not camp.  I like being outside, but at the end of the day I want my bed, and indoor plumbing.  They might not be going.  I'm not sure if they'll go.  I won't be going.

I donated whole blood last Sunday.  Nothing too interesting about that.  It went fine, without issue.

On Monday, I'm going to Rosh Hashana services with my dad.  I'm thinking about Judaism again.  I'm not too interested in organized religion in general, but I want to have somewhere to hang my hat, so to speak.

I can't think of much else for now.  Here are pictures from the last week or so.

Playing chess, and acorns.

On a hike

Reading after school

Ready for her first dance class

I can't remember where we were going.  He was all dressed as a Pokémon trainer.

First week of soccer.

When she wasn't feeling well.

Bertram had to do another self portrait.  He had to bring this one home as well.  But he persevered, and did the assignment without much complaining.  His perfectionism came into play a bit, but not nearly as bad as the first portrait.

He drew this hedgehog.  It might be my favourite drawing of his.

Cancer

 I feel like I've been waiting for this shoe to drop for a long time.  I assumed it would have happened long before now, but here we are.

My mom has breast cancer.

We've known for about a week.  It's stage 1a, which I guess is like just a little cancer.  She had her MRI yesterday, and meets with the surgeon on Friday, which is when there will be more information.  That's all the information I have right now.

When I was 12 my mom had a cancer scare.  But after a biopsy, it was found to be not cancer.  I can't remember what it was, something benign

I feel like this has been kind of crushing my life for the last week.  I was kind of falling back into depression before, but now I feel like I'm embracing it.  Like that old friend that you know is bad for you.  But you hang out with them anyway.  Or like a cocoon, the protection of depression.  It's hard to explain, unless you've been depressed, I guess.  

Everything in my life is cancer and depression tinted.  This is a funny show. My mom has cancer. Man, the kids are so cute.  My mom has cancer.  

Since everything is cancer coloured, I've been leaning into the depression, hard core.  Not doing much of my work at home, skipping the gym or when I actually do get to the gym, just having terrible workouts, avoiding things I like, not sleeping well, sleeping too much.  And eating, of course. I wish I was one of those people that have no appetite when I was depressed, but no, I eat for comfort, not that it actually helps.  

Another catch up

 Seems like I update this when I can't sleep.  I guess that's when I have the time.

The trip home from Virginia was uneventful.  The kids did well.  They're good travelers.

After we got back, they did another week of swimming lessons.  That was fun, they both really enjoy swimming and water in general.  My goal is for them to be able to get out of a pool if they fall in.  If they learn strokes, all the better, but it's not the goal.

Everyone in the house has had, and is update with covid shots.  Yay.

Bron had her check up.  She's healthy, but still small.  Nothing unexpected there.

Both kids started school.  The first two weeks, Bronwyn had short days, after that the normal 6 hour day.  They've both been doing well, as far as I know.  Bertram had a small incident when he didn't want to make a self portrait, because it was too hard and wouldn't look like him.  So we did that together at home.  He has some issues with perfectionism, that plus the ADHD and autism made this project a very difficult task.  Which is kind of odd.  He love art and drawing.  But usually Pokémon, or made up animals.  I wonder if that's because there aren't too many rules with drawing that way.

I did some quilt work.  I have hit a road block lately with the big quilt.  Nothing in particular, I just either have been busy, or haven't wanted to do it.  I'm hoping to have it done so my mom can take it home with her after her next visit, which gives me about a month, maybe 5 weeks.  I think I can do it, but I've got to hop to it.  It's too bad i don't have somewhere I can sew and not wake up the whole house.  #smallhouseproblems

Piecing the big quilt

 

Baby quilt, laid out.

Baby quilt, complete.

I had a terrible dental appointment this week.  When I was still in Virginia I broke a tooth.  Like right in half.  It didn't hurt, and wasn't bothering me.  I chewed on the other side, as I didn't want to chance breaking the rest off.  I didn't need a root canal, thank goodness.  But I did need a crown, which I knew.  I had an appointment right after we got back to California, but I had a cold from traveling.  (Funny how simple colds keep us home now.  Though, I suppose it should have been that way all along).  Granted, I've never been assaulted, but dental work always feels a bit like an assault.  People doing things that I don't really want, hurting me.  I didn't ever get numb properly.  And I was crying.  Normally the dentist is very sensitive to this.  But I guess he was having a bad/off day. When the temporary crown was on, he asked if it felt ok.  It didn't, it was too tall, but I said it was fine because I just couldn't take anymore drilling.  It felt like the drilling took an hour.  I'm sure it was no more than 10 minutes, in reality.  Anyway, I got home, and had a snack, and immediately popped the temporary off.  I just started crying all over again.  Fortunately, they said if it wasn't bothering me and didn't hurt, I could do without it.  God, I hate my teeth.  I think it's partially genetics, and partially crohns.  All the people in the crohns facebook group have bad teeth too.  I got back in a couple weeks for the crown and my dental cleaning.  

I've done a couple platelet donations.  I set up the appointments through the end of the year.  I do platelets every couple weeks, and do whole blood every 9 weeks.  I feel very proud of myself.  It something easy I can do, that can help a lot of people.  

In a month, during fall break, we're going to Great Wolf Lodge for a couple days.  I'm pretty excited.  I don't think the kids understand it's a hotel centered around entertaining them.  But I'm sure we'll have fun.

Bronwyn expressed interest in scouts.  Girl scouts, specifically.  We're already enrolled in a scouting troop, for Bertram.  He decided he didn't want to do scouts this year.  (Though he didn't say anything, I think this is a big disappointment for Aaron).  But Bronwyn went to the first meeting this week, and enjoyed it.  Plus she just looks so cute in the uniform.  They're going camping in 6 weeks.  Both kids want to do that.  I'm hoping I can stay home, I don't like camping.  I like sleeping in a bed.  But if Aaron thinks he'll need help, I can go.  Plus, it's not too far away, I can always come if I'm needed.  So we'll see.  The girl scout interest meeting is next week.  So maybe she'll end up doing cub scouts and girl scouts.

Both kids start after school activities this week.  Bert starts Futsal later today.  (I think Futsal is like soccer, but a smaller pitch?)  I'm glad he wanted to do something athletic.  He needs opportunities to work on coordination.  We didn't buy anything for the class.  I wonder if he needs shin guards?  The course description didn't say.  But I know futsal doesn't use cleats.  Brony starts a tap/ballet class on Wednesday.  I got her a leotard and ballet shoes.  I'm hoping I won't need to buy her tap shoes for such a short class.  $30 for shoes she'll barely wear seems silly.

I'm sure there are other things I've forgotten.  But that's the bulk off it.

Until next time...

Saturday

On Thursday we went to Chesterfield Town Center.  I got a few things at Old Navy.  We had pretzels for lunch.  Bronwyn was starting to feel better.  But she was draining a little, so a wet cough and the sniffles.  I got her some Claritin; it's helped some.  We got Chinese for dinner.  I ate way too much.

We had a pretzel left over from yesterday for breakfast.  It was a little chewy, and then I broke my tooth.  the premolar on the bottom cracked in half.  From a pretzel!  Ugh.  It wouldn't have mattered if it happened at home, as my dentist isn't open on Fridays.  It doesn't hurt.  I went to the store and got some tooth glue, and put it back in.  But it didn't last.  I took the kids to the trampoline park.  It was pretty loud inside, and both kids had their hands over their ears.  Bertram started crying and saying he wanted to go home.  It cost almost $80 for the three of us and socks.  I told him we were going to try it out for a while and if they weren't having fun we could leave.  Bronwyn got into it pretty quickly.  Bertram kept being upset so I called my mom and asked if she could pick him up.  But by the time she arrived he was having a good time.  They especially liked playing in the foam pits.  Bronwyn was pretty fearless, Bertram was more cautious, of course.  We ended up staying for our whole allotted time.

In the afternoon we went swimming at my aunt's house.  The kids had a lot of fun, and one of my cousins, who I hadn't seen in the long time, was there too.  Bertram loved the diving board.  He is still using his lifejacket.  

Some storms were coming, so we got out, and went down the road to visit Nanny.  She wasn't particularly with it on that day.  So we visited for a bit and waited out the storm before driving home.

I woke up with a lesser version of what Bronwyn had.  No fever, stuffy nose, and a cough.  Sudafed helped.  The weather was nicer today than it had been, much cooler and less humid.  I was going to walk, but didn't end up doing it.  I started drinking my coffee over ice, because it's too hot for hot coffee.  It's delightful.  We went to Target and JC Penney in the morning.  I found some really cute things.  And some baby things for Rebecca.  Mom suggested I put them away for her baby shower.  We got lunch at Panera, and then went back home for a bit.  I took a quick nap.  Then we went to Rebecca's house and swam for a while. We got gas on the way home, and got Wendy's for dinner.  I gave everyone a bath, and did some laundry.  Bron fell asleep at Nana and Papa's house.  She woke up long enough to come home.  And then fell asleep again.

Halfway

 We're halfway through our trip.

On Monday, Bron woke up with a fever, and a little cough.  I was worried about covid, of course.  Her test was negative.  Bertram and I went out for a bit in the morning.  We went to 5 Below and Barnes and Noble.  Bronwyn requested a new Unicorn Diaries book.  It was a pretty quiet day after that.  Lots of YouTube.  Jessica came over for dinner.  We had chicken casserole.  I drove with mom to take Jessica home.  It was storming like crazy.  I had to sit in the parking lot for a bit til the rain calmed down, it was hard to see.  We went to Crumbl after.   

Kids woke up at 4am

Puddles after the storm

Bronwyn still had a fever on Tuesday.  Another negative covid test.  It was cool enough that I got to walk in the morning.  I hadn't had an opportunity to do it most of the trip.  We watched more YouTube.  (Mostly "Half Asleep Chris" (he has cat videos), and Mark Rober (he makes inventions)).  Rebecca came over in the afternoon.  She and I went to Target and the Dollar Tree.  It was nice to spend time with her.  We stopped by Sonic for a drink and snack.  She went home.  We had burgers for dinner.

Today the kids slept til a good time, almost 7. Bron was in my bed from 11:30 on, but slept til after 7.  She didn't feel warm when she woke up.  When we got to Nana and Papa's house she started coughing and feeling warm again.  I gave her a Tylenol.  And we got ready to go to the water park.  I hadn't been there in 20? years.  The kids did well on the drive.  Rebecca drove there.  We spent time in the wave pool, at the kid splash pads.  We did some of the smaller slides with both kids.  Bron was brave.  Bert was not, but still did well.  There was a medium slide that both kids wanted to go on.  They went to the top with Rebecca.  But both changed there minds.  We went on the lazy river.  Then got some lunch.  Then we went back in the wave pool.  After that we got treats.  Bron got a big waffle cone with vanilla ice cream. She ate part of it, Rebecca and I split the rest.  Bertram got a snow cone from the Kona Truck.  (He saw that at the beginning of the day, and really glommed on to the idea.  He asked about it several times throughout the day).  There was one ride we were going to ride called Big Daddy Falls, which is a ride that like 5 or 6 people go down the slide in a big raft.  Bronwyn really wanted to go on it.  Bertram did not.  And in the end we didn't get around to it.  Bron was pretty upset about it.  When we left everyone was tired, hot, and grumpy.  I drove home.  Bronwyn fell asleep before we got on the highway.  Bertram fell asleep about halfway home.  (It's about an hour away).  Bron was feeling warm again, and complaining about feeling cold.  I give her another Tylenol.  She rested.  Later in the evening, I gave her some Advil.  Both kids were asleep by 8. I have a little sunburn, which is pretty typical for me.

Tomorrow we're probably going to Rebecca's house to swim.  And Friday is the trampoline park.  (We were supposed to go Monday, but I postponed because of Bron's fever.  After that we're going to visit Nanny.  Not sure what Saturday, Sunday and Monday hold.  Tuesday it's back to Californina.  The trip went by fast, as it always does.  It'll be nice to get home, and see Aaron again.    

A Few Days In

 The kids have finally stopped asking to go back home.  Bertram was doing it from the first day, Bron joined in soon after.  But I think it's been a couple days since they've asked

Thursday we didn't do much.  We went shopping in the morning and went to the kids' favourite store, 5 Below.  The love that store (so do I), but our closest one is an hour away, so we don't go very often.  Bertram got a big water gun that he played with for a good portion of the afternoon. We also went to the library, and got books for the kids to read.  Bertram was highly disappointed by the lack of  Yokai- Watch books.  My sister came over for dinner, so I got to see her for a bit.

The big water gun

Friday We went to Walmart and Crumbl early in the day.  Walmart is another store I never go to.  We have one close to the house, but it's not in my usual route, so I rarely go.  I let each of the kids chose something.  Bron got a unicorn lantern.  (She often asks for "Something beautiful", which can be had to decipher).  Bertram got an Among Us guy.  He has been very into that game (and YouTube videos about it).  But I got out of the store for under $60, So I felt pretty good about that.  

When we came back from that Jenna (my step-dad's daughter in law) came over with her two boys, and brought us some legos to play with. Her boys are 4 and 5.5 so the kids got on pretty well.  Friday afternoon we went to Rebecca's house to swim.  Both kids love the water.  Bertram is over-confident of his abilities, which is always scary.  But he kept his life vest on most of the time.  Bron stayed int he shallow kiddie part of the pool.  I was a bad mom, and didn't think to bring snacks or water with me.  A nice dad gave Bron a bag of Goldfish.  That evening we had a little party for Bronwyn's birthday.  (Rebecca and her husband Ray came, as did my other sister Jessica). She had really been chomping at the bit since she saw there were presents.

Saturday morning I got my hair done.  Well, I got my roots done and got a trim.  I'm getting tired of my hair, it's time for a change, but I don't have a stylist at the moment.  We went to Target in the afternoon.  It rained a little, so Bronwyn and I walked around in the rain.  Summer rain is still such an anomaly to me.  We get cold rain, in the winter (sometimes.  see: drought).  But it rains through the summer and the heat makes it perfect for playing in. 

Brony in the light rain

Sunday we went to Reid's 4th Birthday.  (He is Jenna's son, so the kids' step-cousin, I guess).  They have a big above-ground pool.  And had a large bouncy house with a slide.  The pool was the perfect depth for Bertram, so he didn't need his vest.  They had a blast.  We spent the afternoon watching YouTube (going between minecraft videos and Ralph and Bella (cat videos).  I thought the kids would be asleep early, from playing so hard, but they went to sleep at normal times.  However, they both went to sleep in my bed.  I slept til 1, and now I'm awake.  Both kiddos are sleeping, diagonally in my bed.

Bertram, lounging

Bounce house

It's been very hot (95-100) everyday, with high humidity.  So we've been inside a lot, which unfortunately means a lot of screen time.  But I guess it's their vacation too.  I've been lining up activities for them to do.  Tomorrow we're going to the trampoline park.  Tuesday we're (hopefully) swimming at my aunt's house, but it's supposed to rain.  So we may just go to visit, which will be far less enjoyable for the kids. Wednesday we're going to the water park.  Thursday and Friday are currently open.  But we'll likely go to the kids museum, and maybe the mall.  The mall is a ways away.  There was a mall very close to my mom's house.  In it's heyday it was really nice.  Then businesses started leaving.  Now it's a Burlington, and a couple small stores.  I'm surprised they haven't closed the whole thing.

The other thing I want to do while we're here is eat at Cracker Barrel (which we don't have).  And maybe Sonic a few times (Sonic is 30+ minutes from our house in San Jose, so we don't go often).

Traveling with Two

 I was able to find ticket to visit my mom and sisters for $303 each, which is pretty amazing.  The catch was that the flights are in and out of SFO, which is about 45 minutes away without traffic.  (We have the San Jose airport less than 15 minutes from our house, but it (almost) always costs a lot more to fly from there).  The other catch was that our departing flight was at 5am.  

The kids were both asleep around 8, the night before we flew, which was good.  The plan was to let them sleep until 2:40am.  They both went to sleep in their travel clothes, in case we needed to carry sleeping kids to the car.  That didn't end up being the case.  Bronwyn woke up at 1, and never went back to sleep (which means I was up at 1 as well).  And Bertram woke up at 2:20.  Both kids were chipper and happy.  Aaron slept til 2:40.  

(It's 3am, I couldn't sleep, and Bron just walked in).

In my infinite wisdom, I signed up for TSA Pre-Check.  That was a fantastic decision.  We finished checking in at the airport, and gave them our 2 suitcases.  I wasn't excepting a huge line at security, since it was 4am.  But lo and behold, the line was very long, especially for 4am.  I asked where the Pre-check line was, and someone pointed me a bit further down the concourse.  One person in front of us!  It was so quick I could hardly believe it.  We didn't have to take our shoes off, or anything.  It was amazing.  Definitely the best thing I could do for travel.  $75 well spent.  

The kids were still in good moods as we made our way to the gate.  They loved the spinning chairs.  I let them play.  We didn't have to sit at the gate too long before they started boarding.  Bert was bummed we were in boarding group 7.  He really wants to try First Class.  I told him when he was a teenage, he and I could fly first at some point.  

We sat in the penultimate row (by design).  I figured being close to the bathroom was a good plan (especially since Bron has only been potty trained since January).  I sat in the middle, Bert had the window, and Bron had the aisle. Bron's legs barely could touch the seat in front of her, if she tried.  But the lady in front turned around and said something like "I've traveled with kids before, so take this with a grain of salt.  But every time she touches my seat, I can feel it.  And I'm going to try to sleep.  If you could keep her feet down."  I internally rolled my eyes.  Her feet barely reach the seat.  And if you need that much TLC when you flight, don't fly coach.  But I told the lady I'd do my best.

Bron started to freak out at take off.  Because it was loud.  I gave her the tablet and headphones.  But it didn't help.  Once we were up in the air, I switched seats with her, so Kicky-Lady could have some peace.  But then Bron started crying, because it was loud.  I had to hold her, which meant her feet were more on Kicky-Lady's seat.  Oh well, my kid is screaming, so you're not sleeping anyway.  After a while, not too long, she calmed down.  In the middle of the flight she climbed in my lap and fell asleep.  Which was super uncomfortable.  But I tried to relish it, since it may be the last time she does that.  Bert just played his tablet and was perfect, in terms of behaviour.  Bron slept maybe an hour.  Then was fine.  The rest of the flight was uneventful.  

We arrived in Charlotte early.  The kids were miffed that we had to wait for everyone else to deplane before we could.  We had to change from concourse A to B.  It wasn't much of a walk.  Bert said he was starving.  We found our gate and still had 90 minutes.  So I suggested we get food.  Bert didn't want to leave the gate, in case the plane (which hadn't actually arrived yet) left without us.  But I convinced him to venture out with me.  We got a sandwich for me, and chips for the kids.  We sat at the gate and ate.  Bron needed to pee, Bert said he didn't and he'd stay at the gate.  So she and I ran off.  She doesn't like public bathrooms, too much flushing and hand dryers.  But she did fine.  Bert stayed put (I was fairly sure he would, but I get nervous).

The second flight was less eventful.  Both kids did great.  It was a very short flight.  When we arrived in Richmond we just the deplane line a bit, because the kids couldn't wait to see Nana.  I went with it.  Both kids ran to Nana.  Our suitcases were waiting for us when we got to baggage.  So everything had gone perfect, no late flights, kids behaved, bags arrived.  

I had been very anxious about this trip.  With all the cancelled flights, and two ASD kids, it is all up in the air (no pun intended).  Bert asked what would happen if we missed our connection plane.  I said we'd just get the next plane.  He seemed satisfied with that.  

As soon as we got to Nana's house, Bert said he wanted to go home.  He couldn't be there anymore.  This continued for a while.  Then we ate, and he was a bit better.  Bron wanted to explore outside.  (Neither kid cared that it was 95 outside).  So we found pinecones and sat on the porch swing.  My mom had to run a quick errand, so we decided to ride along.  Both kids fell asleep in the car, it was about 7.  I was hoping to keep them up to 8.  When we got home, I carried Bron to her bed, and she stayed asleep.  Bertram woke up.  And started in with wanting to go home again.  And he was too scared to sleep.  I told him I needed to shower and then I'd check on him.  He checked on me, in the shower, instead.  He calmed down a little, when I let him play Switch.  When I was ready to sleep, I told Bert he could sleep with me, when he was ready.  He came in a few minutes later, and went to sleep.

Now we're at the present time. I woke up at 2, and couldn't sleep anymore.  So I went to Bert's room to type.  And Bron came in around 3.  I typed, she watched Bluey and read a book.  Chipper as always.