Just the life of any other Rachel

Sunday, January 29, 2012

On being a crazy person.

That's how I feel lately.  Depression has come back, big time.  I have no motivation to do anything, aside from sit on the couch, or go to bed.  I don't want to clean, shower, cook, go out, anything.  Yesterday I forced myself to go shopping with some free time I had (and GCs and coupons). I found some cute things, and did ok once I got out.  But not great, everything just felt... off.  Then I had to take the dogs for a walk, which I also didn't want to do.  I've been putting it off for days, or making Aaron go alone.  Once I was out with them, i got really agoraphobic.  I just had to get home, and couldn't get there quick enough.  This continued and morphed into an anxiety attack.  One that persisted through 10mg of Ambien.

I had another anxiety/agoraphobia incident at church today.  But I made myself stay, because I know by giving in, it would only make things worse.

I emailed my shrink to see about swapping my meds around, and hoping that might help.  I can't really have these issues right now.  I need to work, I need to be out of the house, and functional.

2 comments:

  1. Sorry you're going through a rough patch... that's tough, I know all too well.

    That's great your dr has email.

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  2. so sorry Rachel. Having gone through depression, know you are not alone. I really hope you can get your meds worked out soon.

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