Another down day

The last few days in the Keeleyshire have been a bit morose.  I think we've both settled into a depression.  I know Father's Day had more of an effect on Aaron than he let on.  Then Aaron was gone for a couple days this week.  And things have been stressful at work (not bad stressful, just busy stressful).

The clean dishes in the dishwasher had been there since Wednesday.  There was a load of laundry left in the washer (also since Wednesday).  A sink full of dishes.  A basket of clean clothes to be put away (and two empty underwear drawers).  In other words, a messy house.  For those who don't know me well, I can't ignore mess.  I need the house to be clean; clutter makes me anxious.  Yet, somehow, the last few days, it didn't cross my mind much (aside from me wishing it wasn't there).

We spent most of the day napping off and on.  Or sitting around and not doing anything.  It was the opposite of most Saturdays.  (I usually spend the morning cleaning the house and doing laundry).

We did go out at one point, to buy a ThunderShirt for Yoie.  She always gets really scared of fireworks.  Last year, she had an accident, and then hid under the desk, shaking.  There hasn't been much in the way of fireworks today.  Just a few firecrackers off and on.  But the shirt seems to work pretty well so far.

Then we slept more.  In the afternoon we went to the baptism of our friends' son, Will.  It was a little bittersweet.  It's getting more and more difficult (for both Aaron and I) to go to church things, due to the abundance of kids (and babies).  Today was no exception.  And of course, it makes you think about your own progeny (or lack there of).  Aaron handles everything a lot better than I do (or, at least less noticeably).  I started crying on the way home.

On the adoption front... there is nothing.  I'd been emailing back and forth with the rep from LDS family services.  And she painted kind of a bleak picture.  They're not accepting any applications right now, since they're in between social workers.  They'll start accepting again in December.  She said it takes a long time to place babies with families, if at all.   Compared to other private agencies, it's cheap.  However, you pay $1000 just to get in the system.  Then another $1000 yearly, to keep your application active.  And it usually takes 3-4 years (if at all).  I'd rather pay a larger amount up front, and get a baby sooner, rather than stretching it out for years and years.

I'm still really angry that my body has betrayed me.