A long time ago, before we were ever thinking about having babies, I already decided I'd breastfeed. I don't know when I made that decision, but it was something I knew I'd do. I knew I would do it, despite the fact that it ooged me out. Breasts were private, and sexual, and having a baby attached was weird and icky. I hated seeing women breastfeed without covers. How disrespectful! I don't want to see that. I never thought they should go to the bathroom, but use a cover!
When I was pregnant we took a breastfeeding class. I still felt a little oogy. It also seemed potentially difficult. Before getting pregnant (and before thinking about it), I assumed it was easy. People have been having babies for thousands of years. They breastfed before lactation class, before formula, even before midwives. How difficult could it be? Apparently very. There are different holds, pillows, and bras. There are a lot of things to remember: which side was last, is the latch correct, how many wet and dirty diapers were there?
My plan was for formula to never touch Bertie's lips. I would have a natural birth, after which Bertie would be put right on my chest and I'd nurse him right away. ...Or, go into labour 3 weeks early, get an epidural, have an emergency c-section, and not get to see the baby for 2+ hours after his birth. He was started on formula right away (despite Kaiser being a very, very pro breastfeeding hospital), because he was really tiny and had low APGAR scores. But I was able to nurse him and he took to the breast right away.
We were able to stop formula before he left the hospital, and have been breastfeeding ever since. I've been fortunate that our journey has been pretty easy. He had a couple of very minor latch issues that were easily fixed. One bout of mastitis. No issues with supply, I've been pumping and storing since the beginning. We introduced a bottle at the right time, so he takes one without issue.
As for me, I've got from being ooged out, to militant breastfeeder. I will feed him, anywhere, anytime, without cover. I do try to be discrete, but I don't go too far out of my way. Feeding him is close to a top priority.
I felt the same way before having kids. I intended to breastfeed because I knew it was the healthiest and cheapest choice. But I was definitely not looking forward to it, and mostly grossed out by it. I was amazed by how much I loved it. I couldn't wait to breastfeed Lena. And I'm looking forward to it with a future third baby. Even with its challenges, it's so rewarding. I've loved to see how "militant" you've become. I was really shy/embarrassed about nursing in public with Lucy, but by the time Lena came around I was totally over it. People can deal. Haha.
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