Year End Survey

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
Flew with a toddler, went to a trampoline park, fed a giraffe, stopped nursing (boo-hoo), did yoga everyday for 30 days, swam in Pinecrest

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I wanted to get in shape and/or pregnant again and save more money.  I am in better shape, but still way heavier than I would ideally like to be.  We did pretty good about saving money.  We double our savings from last year (which should give you an idea of how little we had), and started an account for Bertram.  
For 2016... I'd like to double savings again, which should be doable.  But I don't have anything else in mind.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I think all the close people were either 2014 or next year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?No.

5. What countries did you visit?
none, still.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
More hiking and running, and more couple time without baby.

7. What days from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Playing tourist in SF on Bertie's birthday, getting lost on the way to Pier 39, and being stuck on the Embarcadero for an hour on the way home.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Saving money

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being as patient or kind as I should

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, but I had a colonoscopy in December.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I think I'll go with the best thing we stopped buying: health insurance!  We get our whole family covered by Aaron's (new-this-year) job for under $40 a month, with coverage that can hardly be beat. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Aaron, he's awesome.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Picture People.  They suck, a lot.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Visiting my family in November

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
nothing is coming to mind.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier, I think
ii. thinner or fatter? a little thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Really cherished my breastfeeding time.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
 Eating junk

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We'll be with Aaron's folks and extended family.  My dad will come.  I'm excited.

22. Did you fall in love in 2015?
Just stayed in love

23. How many one-night stands?
none, duh.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Amazing race, Project runway, Cut Throat Kitchen, Bobs Burgers, Last Man on Earth (the only change from last year)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I try not to waste time on hate.

26. What was the best book you read?
Ready Player One.  Not because I liked it that much, but I think it's the only book I read this year.  (That is sad).

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
More of the same stuff.

28. What did you want and get?
To lose weight, have Bertie catch up (developmentally), and more money

29. What did you want and not get?
To lose all the baby weight

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Kingsmen was good

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We went to the flea market, The Habit for lunch and Red Lobster for dinner.  I turned 32

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Having more energy, most of the time.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
jeans and tees.

34. What kept you sane?
Anti-depressants, Aaron having a normal schedule, Bertram's smile

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ruby Rose

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Marriage equality.

37. Who did you miss?
Most people, I feel like I was isolated.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't meet a lot of new people

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015:
The county is the best employer there is.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
??

A december post

Apparently it's been a month since I was last here.  I think I'm in a little depression slump.  No reason, really, as usual.

Our fakey tree is set up in the kitchen (displaced from the living room, due to Bertie's toys), and stuffed with gifts underneath.  I am pretty excited for Christmas.  I hope Bertie might actually get into opening gifts.  And if not, I'm still excited to see what he got.  We're having dinner with Aaron's family (as we always do), and my dad is coming (as he always does).  We've decided we're not "doing" Santa.  I have no nostalgia around it.  And Aaron doesn't care to do it.  (Actually the only memories I have about Santa were hoping that he was real, and would ignore the fact I was Jewish, though, he never did).  But I did get Bertram's picture with the Santa at Bass Pro Shop, because it was free.  My gift from Aaron was having my engagement ring re-set with two diamonds from my great-aunt's ring.

We're in the process of getting a new cat, because I'm a crazy person.  I saw that four years ago, we adopted Diamond Jim from Best Friends, in Utah.  I looked at their website, and saw it was cheap adoption time again, and saw an old lady cat called Tinsley.  She is 10, has 3 legs, and a black splotch on her white face.  I've always wanted a three-legged cat or dog.  And we like to get the less desirable cats (old, or with FIV, or old with FIV).  Because we have adopted from them before, she is free.  As of now, she is scheduled to arrive on January 8th.

Also, in the new year, I'm going back to being vegetarian.  Or maybe a very occasional pescaterian, I haven't decided yet.  I don't really like eating animals, and I don't like what it does for the environment.  ...But I'm also planning on getting pregnant again next year, so we'll see what my body wants to do.

Bertie is doing well.  He talks a lot!  He is really starting to become a twonager.  It's hard to keep my patience sometimes, but I'm still new at this, so I try to cut myself a little break.  And generally speaking, he's good, but precocious.

Some Musings

I feel like I've lost my faith.  Well, I suppose that's  incorrect.  I think my faith lost me.  I had been having trouble with my testimony/church membership for a long time.  It was weird too, because the more I tried to do the right things (and "fake it til you make it") the further I felt. God stopped talking to me, so for a while, I stopped talking to God.  But not to long ago, I tried again, and I asked what should I do, what should I be doing?  The answer was do what brings you joy.  I haven't really found what brings me joy yet.  And my faith has become a somewhat contentious subject in our house.  I really wish I could make myself believe.  It would make things easier, and it would be nice to just believe.  But I've tried, and as of now, I can't.  Maybe that will change, I'm certainly open to it.  But at the moment this is all I've got (spiritually speaking): I'm pretty sure there it something out there.  I don't know how hands on this something is, but I think there is something greater than myself.

It's starting to get cold again.  Not like the rest of the country, where it actually gets cold.  Just cold for here, which is more than enough for me. We're had to turn on our heater, which is nice, but parts of our house are poorly insulated (particularly the master bedroom).  Even when the heat is on, it can still be chilly.

Bertram had his first haircut a few days ago.  I took him to Kinder Cuts, and he got to sit in a truck while having his hair cut.  He did really well, and the stylist did well too. I kept it long, but got it out of his face more.  People warned us that once we cut his hair the curls wouldn't come back.  But I think it's actually curlier than before.

I'll be having my second colonoscopy in 3 weeks.  (I supposed I should write about this on the crohns blog, but maybe later).  My sister is having her first colonoscopy on the same day. I'm not too nervous this time.  I'll be doing a different prep process, but I'll be drinking a lot less volume, which will be a welcomed change. And I'm not too worried about what they'll find, diagnostically, because it'll (more than likely) still be crohns.  I've not been having pain, or any serious flare ups, but it's been 4 years, so it's time.

It's been three weeks since I've really exercised (aside from walking).  I was going to get up and run this morning, but I didn't really sleep until after 3, and getting up at 5:30 was just not going to happen.  Maybe tomorrow, we'll see how it goes, but I do need to get moving again.  I just feel better when I do.

Vacation is over.

I've been in Virginia for the last two weeks.  Bertie and I head home tomorrow.

We had a pretty good trip.  A few hiccups:

• The red eye here was hard.  Bertie did pretty well, but the planes were completely full.  He is a wiggly sleeper, and he's big for sleeping in my lap now. 
• He hasn't slept well the whole trip.  I'm chalking it up to separation anxiety.  He has a hard time being away from me too.  I've had to sneak away.  When he wakes up at night he cries til I come in.  And I have to stay in there at night until he falls asleep.  I'm glad he'll be in his own bed tomorrow.
• Due to his clingy-ness, I feel like it hasn't been a real vacation.  I haven't gotten much of a break.  I told Aaron that when I home I'm going to throw Bertie at him and run away.

Some of the fun things:

• We all went to the zoo, which was fun.  Bertram seemed to enjoy it.  It was nice to do something all together.  (Except, poor Jessica tripped and got really scraped up on the way in).  We got to feed the animals, including a giraffe!  That was so cool; to touch, pet and feed a giraffe.
• Rebecca and I had a seester day today.  I left Bertie with my mom and Glenn and we headed out.  We got pedicures and fun snacks and auricle piercings.  I really liked the piercing parlour (they do tattoos too).  Beck and I will definitely return (for a tattoo or more piercings).  The girl who did them was really good, I barely felt it (which was a huge change from my last cartilage piercing).
• Rebecca and I got to hang out a lot, which was awesome.  And seeing my mom everyday too.  I didn't have to cook, I didn't have to drive much.

Bertie's vocabulary has exploded lately.  He's picking up new words all the time.  New words (or phrases): clean up, boom, wheels car round around (like the wheels on the bus), llama, night-night, grandma, book read, thank you (just a couple times), cartoon, no (he's saying no a lot now). okay.  I'm sure there are more but I can't think of more.

I went with my sister to her GI appointment.  It seems likely she has crohns too.  She is going to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy on the same day I'm going to have my colonoscopy.  I thought that was funny.

I meant to blog a long time ago.  But then the plague hit (again).

I took Bertie to Happy Hollow a couple weeks ago.  It's a small zoo with rides for little kids, and it's only a few miles from the house.  He wasn't too impressed with the animals.  There was a leopard roaming around in its habitat, which he liked.  But he didn't care about the petting zoo (which I was surprised about).  But he loved the rides.  He was tall enough for the carousel, the cars, and the bugs.  The cars just drive in a circle, and the bugs go up and down (and around).  The cars and bugs he could go on by himself. I had to ride the carousel with him.  But it wasn't crowded, so he rode again and again.

I'm really trying to take him to a lot of different places: zoo, the beach, different parks etc.  We go to the mall a lot, just to walk (where it's cool) and to use the little playground.  Next Monday, I'm going to take him to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  He liked it last time, and I'm debating leaving the stroller, and letting him walk where he wants.  (I may bring the sling, or ergo.)

Aaron was sick with some derivative of bronchitis for a week.  Well, he missed a week of work.  He's still coughing a bit, but he seems to finally be on the mend (after 2+ weeks).

It was a stressful week.  Aaron was super sick, Bertie was a little sick.  I was supposed to see Brianon and Thomas while they were in town, but Bertram took a super long nap and we didn't get to see them (there was a small window of opportunity).  I was supposed to meet another friend, but cancelled at the last minute, due to all the sickness, and stress and other crap.  I shouldn't have, but I did.  I suck.  But I did get to see Amanda, and catch up after maybe a year since seeing her.

Depression is creeping back in.  It's definitely easier to isolate myself.  I've been feeling overwhelmed lately (partly because of the sickness etc).  I have two girlfriends locally (Amanda and Colleen), so I'm trying to make an effort to see them more.

I think there was something else I was going to write about, but I can't think of anything else.

The Lord of the Flies

This is how I feel about the play space at the mall.  Bertie always wants to go whenever we walk at the mall.  Most of the time I oblige him (unless it's super over run with kids).   It was fairly crowded today, but I'd already told him we could go (which lead to a constant chant of "slide, slide, slide").

He is oblivious to most of the things I look out for.  Actually, he's oblivious to most things.  There were several kids that were too big to be in there, mid to late elementary, leaping from object to object.  He's usually the smallest one, though not today, there were some smaller ones.

I try not to be a helicopter parent, but I hover.  I make sure the bigger kids don't steal his spot in line again and again.  I make sure he doesn't get kicked in the face by flailing limbs of other toddlers.  I make sure he doesn't cut in line.  I take him away from the bully kids (since he doesn't defend himself).  For some reason, most other parents don't do this.  They don't make sure their kids aren't just standing on the slide, or pushing other kids, or aren't too big to be there in the first place.  They stare at their phones.

Today, aside from the leaping big kids:  There was a girl, probably about 4 years old, and all of her top teeth were gold.  ALL OF THEM. (I am so judgey.  Seriously, how lax do you have to be with your child's dental hygiene that 50% of their teeth are crowns?!)  She was hard to understand, but I think she accused Bertie of cutting in line, and then said that if you cut in line, you get messed up (or cussed out, again she was hard to understand).  And then I judged her parents again (also they were no where to be seen, as she laid atop the slide, threatening to kick anyone who got too close).

There was something else that was really setting off my radar.  A mom was there with her son, who was probably 12 or 13.  I'm not sure if she had a little kid too.  But the boy was giving me a really weird vibe.  Like a groomer kind of vibe.  We was playing with random kids, patting Bertie on the head.  It was weird.  I'm sure I'm just thinking the worst of people, but my gut was telling me otherwise, so I went with it.  And I watched him closely when he was near Bertie.  And had he done anything more than pat his head I would have told him it's not ok to touch my kid.  I was really glad to get him out of there today.

Bertram's Awful, No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day.

It started at 4am.  He started to cry.  I let him go for a while, but he didn't go back to sleep.  I looked closer at the monitor, and could see he was soaked.  Aaron and I went in, and he was super wet from chest to toe, and his bed (and favourite toy, Charlie Bear) were soaked as well.  We changed everything out, and he went back to sleep fairly quickly.  He woke up next around 8, and was not too unhappy, but was very poopy.  I got him cleaned up, fed, and then we went out the door to the DMV.  (I told him it was almost time to go, and he dragged my purse over to me, and said "go!").

We were at the DMV for about 50 minutes, fairly short, by DMV standards, but fairly long by 18 month-old standards.  He lost his patience pretty quickly, and kept saying "go" and "slide".  I kept reassuring him, not that it helped.  He was really starting to melt towards the end.

We got in the car, and headed to Willow Street Park.  He was really excited when we got there.  He played on the different things, and then he wanted to swing.  So I pushed him.  (And practically gave him whiplash by stopping the swing to keep him from crashing into a wayward kid(way to go attentive parents)). And he swung for 10-15 minutes, and wanted to keep swinging, but I was getting dizzy from watching him.  So I told him we had to let other kids have a turn (it's true, all the swings were being used).  And when I got him out, he want into full tantrum mode, and threw himself to the ground.  (Scraping his forehead in the process).  He calmed down and bit, and climbed up the equipment.  Wayward kid (probably about 1 year old) and his mom were on there too.  And like a flash Wayward kid had a fistful of Bertie's hair.  I pinned Bertie down, and Wayward kid's mom worked on loosening his kung-fu grip.  By that time, Bertie was in full hysterics and it was time to go.  He'd calm down, then make a pulling his hair motion and start crying all over again.  (That continued the whole way home).

I changed him, and laid him down, He didn't sleep, he'd wet through again.  I changed him, and laid him down again, and he finally slept.  (And so did I).

He was unhappy when he woke up.  Still upset about the hair pulling incident (continuing the hair pulling motion, and pouting), and he was trying to tell me something I wasn't understanding, which upset him further, compounded by the fact that I was offering him yogurt that he didn't want.  Eventually, he was composed, and we went to the grocery store.  Once we were there, he decided he was staving.  I got him some Hawaiian rolls, and he was fairly happy.

When we got home, he was good for a bit.  He demanded to go again, so he and I walked around the block.  He was fairly happy with that and once daddy came home.

His last canine tooth is coming in, so that doesn't help things.  But he was ok in the evening, and went to sleep fairly quickly.

Exercise
My sister and I started a new work out today: Bikini Body Mommy 6 week mini-challenge.  Six days a week, 20-30 minutes at a time, consisting of upper body, lower body and cardio. Today was day one, and I wanted to get off on the right foot.  So I got up at 5:45 so I could jog (once it's cold I can go during the day, but it's kind of nice to get up and get it done).  I jog/walked for 30ish minutes, then came home and did the upper body work out.  As I was about to get in the shower Bertie woke up (a little after 7).  And after he'd had milk, he walked over to the door and said "go!"  I figured since it was going to be super hot again today, we may as well go.  And we were out of milk, so I figured we could walk to the store after the park.  I loaded up the stroller and we headed out.  The whole way there, Bertram said "slide, slide".  We played for a while, walked to Grocery Outlet, and then walked home.  I hit 10,000 steps just before 9 am.
I'm going to aim to jog 3-4 days a week.

Nursing
We are officially done with nursing.  I felt bad, because I cut it off.  And the first couple days when Bertie was upset, he would cry "boobie, boobie" and pull on my shirt.  But now he's ok.  I have mixed feelings.  I'm glad to be done, but at the same time I miss it.

Adderall
Now that nursing is done, Adderall is back!  My shrink actually wanted me back on it sooner, but knew that nursing was important to me.  I really forgot how wonderful Adderall is, and I can see why people abuse it.  But I really feel more focused, and more importantly, awake!  I'm hoping that the combination of exercise, completing breastfeeding, and adding Adderall will help me lose some weight, because I'm tired of being chunky.

Heat
It has been so hot lately!  It was 97 today!  And it's been hot for most of the previous week.  I'm really looking forward to fall.  Sweaters, crisp air, maybe some rain?

Baby
We were trying for baby #2.  My sister is getting married next year.  Originally it was in Oct, or Nov, so I figured we could try through October, then stop if not pregnant, and start again in Spring.  (I either need to be in early to mid pregnancy, or with a new baby.  I can't travel while hugely pregnant).  But the wedding got moved up to June.  So I went back on the pill, and we'll start up again late January.  (So I have a little over 4 months to lose weight!)

Bits about today
Today was pretty good.  My MiL watched Bertie so I could shower after our walk. He took a really early nap (and was asleep before 10:30).  After he napped we met dad at Olive Garden for lunch.  I tried to have him nap again after lunch, but he didn't.  I got a letter with no return address.  In it was a $60 gift certificate to a nail salon nearby.  I have no idea who sent it, but it was a great surprise!  We had dinner with Aaron's folks.  I got the house tidied up, swept, did (and put away) laundry, dishes, etc.  So we're in good shape for tomorrow.  I have a dentist appointment at 10:40, for a cleaning.

Catch up

Bertie had a grumpy day.  It happens every now and then.  But he did mostly ok.  He took a short nap.  We went to the grocery store.  On the way there, we pass a park, at which he shouted "Slide! Slide!"  Slide and ball are his favourite words lately.

Other Bertram things: He loves going in the backyard at his grandma and grandpa's house.  Mostly because there are tomato plants, and he'll snatch them off the vine and eat them (even the green ones).  He's been learning a lot of words.  I asked him to say his name, but it just sounds like Burbur.  He likes playing in the car.  He's been asking for Nana since she left.  He looks in her room.  And when I get my phone, he'll point at it and say "Nana", then I show him her picture.  He also recognizes Aaron's ringtone.

We're now weaning in earnest.  I resented Aaron for saying it was time.  (I thought it was pretty cute that Bertie would say "boobie", but I guess Aaron didn't).  But it is time, and I'm ready to be done.  But I'll miss it.  There is an indescribable closeness that comes with it.  It was hard today, because he was having a rough time, and saying "Boobie, boobie".  He was pretty easily distracted, but I felt awful doing it.

But since, I'm doing that, I can start taking Ritalin again.

I haven't been feeling confident about my look lately.  My skin is bad, I can't make my hair look good, I'm over-weight and not digging my double chin.  I'm working on exercising more and eating better.  But, of course, nothing happens overnight.  And Bertie broke our scale, so I can't really keep track very well.

I'm going to buy my plane tickets for Virginia soon.  Bertram and I will go in early November.

Another quick post

• Bertie was a terror the last few days.  LOTS of tantrums.  I couldn't guess what would set him off.  But today was SO much better.  He was back to his usual happy self,  Not sure if it was teeth, or what, but hopefully things will stay happy.
• My sister and I finished the 30 day yoga challenge last Friday.  Now were working our way through the Bikini Body Mommy Challenges.
• I miss my mom,  It was so fun when she was here.  Plus having an extra set of hands is great.  Also, Bertie is still walking around saying "Nana?"  It makes me sad.  But we'll go out there in November.
• Bertie has been adding a lot of words to his vocabulary lately: more, please, candy (not sure how he learned that), duck, roar, Zelda, hat, car, and yogurt.
• Today, I decided I'd only eat when I was hungry.  I ended up only eating 1700 calories.  I guess I should always do that.  :P 

Quick

A quick post, because, Holy Moly!  It's been almost a month.  (BTW, Rebecca, you never blog anymore).

Bertie is a lot of fun lately.  I'm really enjoying being a stay at home mommy.  He is funny.  And I love watching him learn.

My sister and I have been doing a youtube 30 days of yoga challenge.  We're almost halfway through, and we're both really liking it.

Speaking of my sister: she's getting married!  No date yet, but sometime next fall.

My mom is coming in tonight!

The end!

Stoke. Angioplasty. Party.

Stroke.
16 July 2015, in the evening.  Grandma (Aaron's grandma) was at home, and suddenly got very dizzy.  So much so that she couldn't stand, or walk, and started throwing up.  We (all the family) were concerned, but assumed it was an inner ear issue (Aaron thought it might be the flu).
I went to work Friday morning, and got a call from Sophie (Aaron's cousin) that the ambulance had come and taken Grandma to Good Sam.  Janet (my MiL) was watching Bertie (as she does whenever I go to work), but left him with my FiL.  Not knowing what was going on, or if things were dire, I left work and went to the ER.  Aaron met me there, and Sophie met us as well, with Bertie in tow.  Bertie was tired, so after a bit, I took him home.  Aaron stayed all day, except to come home and pick up lunch.  Through a CT scan and MRI, they were able to see that she'd had a stroke (a clot).  It was small and in the back, center of her head.  (None of us knew that severe and sudden dizziness was a sign of a stroke.  It's not on mentioned in FAST).  She was admitted and treatment began.  She was still funny though.  She said "See?  And you thought it was all in my head.  And you were right!"  She was really thirsty but was NPO until she could be evaluated for swallowing (which anyone could tell wasn't an issue).  But day 3 she was doing much better.  She was eating like normal, walking around, and back to her old self.
On Wednesday she was moved to the Mission Oaks Good Sam campus for rehab.  This is a better set up than the hospital.  Much quieter, no shared rooms, better sleep, and no age restrictions on visitors.  (So Bertram and the other great-grand kids can visit.  The hospital is 13+ only).  She does three therapy sessions a day OT, PT, and sometimes ST.  She's doing really well.  If I didn't know she'd had a stroke, I'd never have guessed.  Which is amazing and a huge blessing.  We need our 91 year old matriarch.  She's slated to come home on Tuesday.

Angioplasty.
22 July 2015, early in the morning.  My dad went into Good Sam to have his 2nd angioplasty procedure.  After his heart attack, he had one.  At that time they were only able to clear one artery and left the "widow maker" blocked.  (I should mention that my dad is the type that should not have a heart attack.  He's always treated his body well, maintained a healthy weight, and before Crohns was an issue; he was, in general, in good health).  A few weeks back, his cardiologist, Dr Kao, suggested they try a second angioplasty to see if the blockage could be removed.  The previous procedure used a vein in the wrist, this one would be done in the groin (femoral artery).  I was nervous, because I know the femoral artery is more risky, and it is messing with the heart.  I took the day off work, and picked him up at 5.45am.  They took him back fairly soon, and told me it would be a couple hours.  I sat in the waiting room for a while, and then went to a walk.  I checked in after a couple hours, they said it was going fine, but they'd started a little late.  I waited, worked on my crossword puzzles.  A little after 3 hours, I checked again.  They said everything was fine, it was just taking longer than usual.  I was starting to get very anxious at that point.  I think around 3.5 hours the nurse came and said he was in recovery, everything went well, and Dr Kao would be out to talk to me soon.  He told me everything went well.  They tried to go after the clot the back way, but were unable, and had to back out, and go the front way.  Because of this, they had to open the femoral artery in the left and right legs.  There were actually two clots (blocked 99%), but he was able to clear both, and put in 2 stents in one blockage, and one in the other.  He checked the original stent, which was still doing its job.  His heart should be good to go for a while. He was feeling ok after the procedure, except he couldn't pee.  So he ended up needing to be catheterized.  He stayed in the hospital for 24 hours after the procedure and then I drove him home.  He has a follow up with Dr Kao later this week.

Party.
26 July 2015, today.  Sophie threw Janet a tea party for her 70th birthday.  I was kind of surprised she went ahead with the party (due to grandma's stroke), but the show must go on.  I went over yesterday to help with set up a little, mainly I watched Sophie's two little ones (and Bertie) while she and her hubby picked up tables.  I made cucumber tea sandwiches, and sugar cookies.

Everything was beautiful.  The food was good, people had fun.  Well, except Bertie.  He was really tired, and refused to nap in someone else's crib.  We left before a lot of the guests, though not appreciably early.  Baby fell asleep after 4 minutes in the car.

Dreams

Two nights ago, I dreamed of the farm.  It was the last day there, the last morning there.  The sun hadn't yet risen, and the house was mostly empty.  There was an empty china hutch in the dining room, and one chair in the kitchen (Nanny was sitting there).  And there was a small candy rack (like in a grocery store), with three boxes of candy (like Hot Tamales, and Mike and Ikes); one for me and one for each of my sisters.  And there was some money taped to each box.  A gift from my departed grandpa.

Last night I dreamed of the farm.  Nanny had hired a lawn-mowing airplane.  And it would come really close to the house (scarily close).

Wednesday I over slept.  Bertie woke up a lot that night.  And I hit the snooze too many times, and woke up at 6.  I usually leave at 6, so I did a lot of running around.  But Bertie took a good nap, so I got to nap too.

And last night Bertram slept all night!  It's been months since that happen.  He slept 8p-8a!  Woo hoo!  He was just a wonderful happy boy today.  Like the kind of perfect mommy day.  He played, we ran errands, I got stuff done, and made dinner.  And we had a nice day.

I found out my dad is going to have another angiogram on Wednesday.  I'm very nervous.  They'll be going through the groin this time, and taking a round-about way to get to the blockage.

A good couple of days

The past two days have been really good.

Yesterday I decided Bertie and I were going to have an adventure.  I needed to go to Ikea to get clothes pins (they have the best and cheapest ones).  I looked up parks in Palo Alto, and parks with water features in Sunnyvale.  It was still fairly early when we left (before 10), so I thought maybe we could hit the water feature on the way back.  But I read about this cool park in Palo Alto called the Magical Bridge. We drove over there.  And I was disappointed.  

As you can see, it was fine.  But certainly not magically.  And while helping him on the slide, I socked him in the eye with my ring.  After we played there for a bit, we walked around.  It was a big park, and they were setting up for 4th of July festivities.  At the far end of the park, we found it: the Magical Bridge.

Slides, swings, spinning things, a little kid area, it was great!  Bertie took a tumble and bumped his head (on one of the few un-padded surfaces).  But he recovered quickly.  He loved the slides!  Two of the three are in the picture above.  The other one was made of a bunch of rollers.  He thought they were all fun.  And he went down the blue one by himself!  (That was the fastest slide).  We had so much fun.  He probably could have played longer, but I was sweaty.

You can see where I hit his right eye, and if you look close you can see the bump on his left forehead.

We continued on to Ikea.  We got lunch: Swedish meatballs.  And then Bertie fell asleep.  I got my clothes pins (and nothing else (a first!)). I was able to transfer him to the car and have him stay asleep.  I was going to take him to the water feature park on the way home, but opted not to wake him. We drove back, and went to the grocery store.  At the grocery store, he pulled a jar off the shelf when I wasn't looking, and broke it.

I made burgers, with corn and watermelon for dinner.  We had a nice night.

Today Aaron had the day off, so we decided to go to the boy scout camp for the day.  I could not wake up, so we left around 7:30, instead of 7.  We didn't hit any traffic (amazingly).  Bertie did pretty well.  I sat in the back with him off and on.  He napped on the way up.  We got to camp without incident.  Met up with a lot of people from the year Aaron worked up there.  We also had lunch there.

Now we always have to take a picture with the sign.

We stayed about two hours, and then drove up the road a little further to Pinecrest Lake.  It was really crowded.  But we lucked upon a good parking spot.  Bertie and I changed (Aaron didn't think to bring a suit).  It was hot there, and the water was chilly, but we got in and waded around for a while.  

 
We got dressed, Bertie had a little nurse, and then headed back.  We got some McDonald's (ice cream and soda).  We got behind a car whose roof carrier was open.  They were losing clothes, towels and pillows.  So we got close enough to honk, and flash the lights and wave.  Eventually they got it.  But I was bummed they lost a bunch of their stuff.  Bertie slept for a while. We stopped at a fruit stand, not knowing it was one of the lamer ones (oh well). Later, we stopped in Tracey for gas (and got 31.4 mpg!)  We only hit a little traffic on the way home.  And we saw license plates from 16 different states!

We had a quick dinner, and took the dogs for a walk.  I wish we could have bathed Bertram, but he was too tired.  It's getting late, and I'm tired.  Fortunately, there haven't been many fireworks tonight.  (We medicated Yoie, so she is calm and sleeping).

Stream of conciousness

Bertie was sick with a high fever for a week.  We went to the doctor a total of three times in that week.  Had 3 weigh-ins, 3 rectal temperatures, 2 blood draws, 1 nasal culture, 1 chest x-ray and countless doses of Tylenol, Advil, nurse and snuggles.  We were really just getting in the swing of weaning, then sickness.  Bertie lost .75 lbs in the week he was sick.  It was hard on me, and Aaron (and everyone else), and stressful to have a sick kid.  I mean, 105+ fevers for a week?  Yikes.  But, here we are, a week later, and he's almost himself again.  Still not quite eating as much as usual, and still more tired, but the fever is gone.

Bertram took his first step yesterday.  He was helping me close the dishwasher, just one step.  

Aaron might have to strike on Tuesday.  The county is not playing fair.  The managers' union got an 8% raise, the county actually has money, and Kaiser lowered their premiums.  The union wants a 5% raise (it has had to forgo cost of living raises for the past 5 years) and no changes to health care.  The offer the county had was a 1.5% raise, and 2% of your salary pays for health care, which equals a .5% decrease in pay.  And the county wanted to be able to change health care systems and rates with a 30 day notice.  (Uh, no.) If they don't have a better offer by Tuesday, the 9000 member union will strike.  

I was asked to start working three days a week again.  I like working less, but more money is always nice.

I had been doing well with eating right, and exercising, until the sickness.  Hopefully next week I'll get back on the horse.  

We were able to get out to dinner for our 10th anniversary on Tuesday. Just a nice dinner downtown.  I'd like to do an overnight at some point. Maybe when my mom comes to visit.

I only cooked twice this week, but I made two good dinners, both vegan.  I did a tofu and veggie stir-fry (with no-calorie yam flour noodles) and summer rolls (with rice noodles, cucumber, bell pepper, carrot and cilantro). with peanut sauce.  We're trying to eat a more plant based diet.  I bought some Kale, though I'm pretty sure neither of us like kale.  I'm not sure how I'll cook it, maybe sauteed with olive oil and garlic.  

The supreme court legalized gay marriage for the whole country this week.  This means that Pride weekend (this weekend) will be awesome, and church tomorrow, will likely be awful.  Since I'm so on the fence with church lately, I decided to stay home.  I love Love.

A break

And just as I was about to blog, he wakes up.

My once happy, mischievous baby has been replaced with a constantly clingy and feverish one.  Oh, how I miss the happy baby.

This is day 5 of whatever plague this is.  I only know it's not an ear infection.  Aside from that, I'm in the dark.  But his high fevers (106+) are scaring me.  And I think we're single-handedly keeping baby Tylenol and Advil in business.

On the plus side, I was able to bathe him today, in between fever spikes.

Now to attend to fussy.

Birthdays, Beach, Trampolines, etc

I turned 32. I feel old.

We went to the flea market.  We found an extra-wide baby gate for $10.  Score!  After that we got burgers at The Habit.  There was a Radio Shack closing sale, and we found a few good deals there.  We came home so Bertie could nap.  We ran a couple errands, and then went to Red Lobster for dinner.  Bertie ate crab, shrimp and a whole lemon slice.  (He's weird).  Aaron and Bertie got me gift certificates for massages.  And we had ice cream cake after dinner.

Monday was (hopefully) the hottest day of the week.  So I'd planned to take Bertie to Santa Cruz.  That morning I caught him eating out of the trash can (moldy blackberries, and an apricot pit in the other hand).  Before hitting the road we ran into Bed, Bath and Beyond to look for a new trash can (one that he can't get into).  But, the ones that might work were at least $160.  No thanks.
We headed over the hill, Bertie napped the whole way.  I put him in his rash guard, and we walked down to the beach.  We stopped at a small inlet, and he splashed around.  That water was warm, shallow, and slow moving, so he was happy.  After that we walked along the water.  I had him in a sling, he liked looking at the ocean, and seeing all the kids and dogs.  I stood him in front of me, so the waves could wash on us.  I held his left hand, in his right he was clutching my sunglasses like a security blanket.  He liked the waves, as long as I held him tight.
I realized I should have brought a change of clothes for me.  I didn't think about it, but I was all wet and sandy.  Bertie didn't like getting changed, he wanted to nurse a lot (so we did).  Then we went to Marianne's to get ice cream.  I got the bigger scoop, because usually Bertie can't get enough.  But I couldn't even get him to take a bite!

On Tuesday we went to Rockin' Tots at the trampoline gym.  I had a lot of fun, I love trampolines.  Bertie wasn't too sure.  He liked the blocks from the foam pit, but not actually being in the foam pit.  Mostly, he just wanted to got down the stairs (which I didn't pay $15 for us to do).  He did crawl off the edge into the foam pit a couple times. I think once he can walk he'll have more fun.

Today is grandma's 91st birthday.  We got together with the family and had dinner.  Bertie had pineapple for the first time, he ate pickled beets, some shrimp, and bread.  He also (possibly) took a step, just one, from the table to Janet.  I missed it, of course.
Earlier today something unusual happened: it rained!  It's been a lot time since it rained, and it came down pretty good for a while.  Before the rain, I put Bertram on my back and mowed the lawns.  I tried to shower with him after, but he didn't like that, so we bathed instead.  After the bath, he wanted to nurse.  We did skin to skin, and nursed.  Then he peed on me, and the bed.  I'd just changed the sheets yesterday, fortunately we have a waterproof mattress cover. I started the laundry, then we ran a couple errands.

Thoughts on parenting and life this week

I was thinking about parenting a little bit.  And it seems like parenting (at least for me, with a little guy) is all about extremes.  Like huge highs and lows.  More joy than you ever thought you could feel.  More frustrated that you thought.  More bored than you thought you would be with a newborn.  More love than you knew you had capacity for.  And more empathy.  (I swore I wouldn't cry when Bertie got his shots, and I think I've cried almost every time).  Anyway, blah, blah, blah.  Rachel waxes philosophical.

I have exercised all three days this week!  Baby steps, but I am going to get fit.  Aaron and I were talking about baby #2.  We thought we could start now, but I want us both to be in better shape (me, especially).  I don't want to have to lose 40+ lbs next time.  So the goal is to be back in the 140s by Feb 2016.  (I'm currently in the 180s, so I have a way to go). Hopefully Bertie will wean before too long, then I can get on Adderall again.

I made really good burgers for dinner tonight.  I had ground pork, and ground beef chorizo that I needed to use.  I mixed them together, and it was really good.  A little spicy, but Bertie ate 1/3 of a burger.  I also chose an awesome watermelon!  Huge, and only $4.

Bertie is a lot of fun lately, but super challenging.  He's into everything!  Dog food, dog water, pantry cabinet, pots and pans, and the fridge when he can get in it.  He loves unrolling toilet paper, tearing tissues and newspapers.  He love water.  I'm going to find out about free swim and mommy baby swim lessons at the local city pool.  Also, some of the splash pads (at city parks) are still open, in spite of the drought. So I need look around and see which local ones are open.  I'm trying to fine some fun and different things for him to do.  We went to the park today, after my walk/jog.  He still loves the swings, and now he loves the slide.

I've been watching True Detective.  I think I have 1 or 2 episodes left.

Mom of the Year

This morning:
I was looking up some exercises, and Bertie was right next to me.  He was pushing his walker around.  Then he fell over.  Not unusual, he's learning to walk, he falls over a lot.  But he fell over, and landed head first on a dog comb.

(The dog comb was on a low shelf, but Bertram loves taking every thing off shelves and putting it on the floor. The comb has since been locked away in the child-proof cabinet.)

So he fell sideways, and the comb hit right behind his ear.  And much to my horror was still in his head as he sat up.  He was screaming, of course.  I very gently removed the comb, and inspected his scalp.  It actually didn't look too bad.  Just two little puncture holes, neither were really bleeding.  I nursed him until he calmed down, which didn't take long.  Then I ran down the street to my MiL's house to get her opinion.  She said it would probably be ok, and to keep an eye on it.  I came back, cleaned his head with rubbing alcohol, and put bacitracin on it.  Then I called the advice nurse.  She said I did the right thing, and to keep an eye out for concussion symptoms for the next 24 hours.

So yep, mom of the year over here. -_-

Vacation in Virginia

We're about halfway through our trip. :-(

The flights: We flew from San Jose to Boston to Richmond.  We (Bertie and I, Aaron stayed home) had a red eye to Boston.  Bertie did pretty well, he slept most of the flight.  Follow passengers commented on how well he did.  (Our flight was only 2/3 full, so the middle seat in our row was empty).  He was awake when we got to Boston.  I changed him, and there was a little playground right by the bathroom, so he got to play for a few minutes.  He loved looking out the windows at the planes and trucks. The flight to Richmond was really empty, there were maybe 20 people in a 96 seat plane.  We had a lot of room, which was good, because he would not sit still.

Sleep: Mr Bertram has not been sleeping very well.  He's having separation anxiety about sleeping in an unfirmilar place.  I've been waiting in the room while he falls asleep, which seems to help.  He's been napping in the car, or on one of us (me, my sister, nana or papa).  This morning my sister came and took Bertie at 7am, so I could sleep.  (Happy mothers day!)

What we've been up to: Lots of visiting, and just hanging out.  We went to see Nanny, aunt Debbie, uncle Martin, (cousin) Abigail, and her hubby Nick.  We're going to see the other Pace's tomorrow.  Rebecca stayed at my mom's house all week so we could hang out.  We've been having a lot of fun.  My mom bought a paddle pool for Bertie, he's used it almost every day.  He loves it!  Today Rebecca and I went to Duck Donuts.  All the donuts are made to order: meaning the fry them when you order, and do the toppings right them.  I got Bertie a plain glazed, and I had maple bacon. O.M.G.  It was the BEST donut I've ever had!  After that we went to her apartment to use the pool.  It wasn't super hot, and the pool was a little cool.  But Bertie had so much fun.  He is a water baby.

Boy and the boy napping

Bubbles and the paddle pool.

Fun at the pool

So happy

Sitting in his own seat, like a big boy.

Watching the planes and trucks

Duck Donuts!

Misc stuff

What's for dinner this week?
Grilled tuna sandwiches (Monday)
Monte Cristo sandwiches
Frozen pizza (Tuesday)
Bacon and mushroom quiche (tonight)
Baby Back Ribs
Home made banana cake with chocolate buttercream frosting (so good!)

What happened last Saturday?
That was an annoying day.  Aaron went to help his dad work on the brakes for Aaron's truck (which his dad is borrowing).  It should have taken maybe 3 hours, but they worked on it all day, and didn't finish.  That meant I had Bertie on my own all day, so I was a little irritated.  Bertie and I walked to an open house nearby, the outside was unimpressive, but the inside was nice.  But this is the second house I've seen recently with no bathtubs!  I would never buy a house without a tub.  (Also, I just like going to open houses, we're not buying (ever, because we can't afford it)).  After that I left Bertie with his grandma for a couple hours and took a nap.

What's Bertram up to lately?
This kid is into everything!  And is hurting himself a lot.  One day last week he ran over his fingers playing in the dishwasher, had his fingers slammed in the toilet seat, slipped crawling out of the bathroom and bumped his head, then bonked his head in his crib.  He says cracker (for all food, including crackers), dada, and uh oh.  He's working on cat, dog, sticker and truck.  He'll wave bye-bye.  He can (and does) now crawl correctly.  He is pulling up on everything, cruising, and starting to balance just a little.  He likes looking at books, especially if there is a picture of a sun or moon.  He hasn't had much in the way of new food.  But he had spinach for the first time in a while, and he spat it out.  He also did that with mashed potatoes.  But he likes tuna, beets, onions, broccoli and other foods with "loud" flavours. He'll do simple commands: wave, clap, kick, pat, come here.  He loves opening and closing doors, drawers and cabinets, turning on and off the light switch, and playing with trucks (or anything with wheels).

Work

I went to work this morning.  The schedule looked weird.  I found out one of the PTs was laid off.  He was the newest one, not too long out of school.  I feel bad.  Then I checked my email and saw my boss wanted to meet with me later in the morning.  So I assumed I might be getting laid off too.  I wasn't, but my hours were cut.  I was (only) working 12, now I'm only working 8.  Down from MWF to WF.  I texted Aaron to let him know.  He said are you sad or happy?  I said "I feel unaffected".  I really do.  I'm a little sad that I'm somewhat disposable, but I suppose that's true of nearly all jobs.  But I was secretly thinking not too long ago that I wouldn't mind working less.  It came at a good time though.  My job was essentially paying for our (me and Bertie) insurance.  And with Aaron's new job, our (the whole family) insurance is essentially free (under $40 a month).  So the money from my job is kind of a bonus.  Plus Aaron's pay will increase in August, so it's fine.

Yesterday I took Bertie to get his one year pictures done (only a month late, more on that later).  I went to Picture People at the mall.  My experience was terrible.  Here is a copy of the letter I'll be mailing tomorrow:

To the manager,

I wanted to inform you of an unfortunately disappointing  experience I had at your store.  

On Monday, 30 March I went in, in the afternoon, to make an appointment for the next day.  I was helped by Carl.  He was nice, helpful, and seemed interested in the pictures for my son's first birthday, and had some helpful suggestions for outfits or props to bring from home.  

I came in the next day (31 March) for my son's appointment, and was helped by Vanessa and Michelle initially.  They had to get all my information again, despite having provided it the previous day.  Michelle was my photographer.  Things started out ok.  She didn't really have a lot of suggestions for positioning him.  She was not good at getting his attention, or having him look the right way.  I will concede that  my son was not his normal happy self that day, but he was not overly uncooperative, especially at the beginning of the shoot.  As the session went on, his patience ran out.  She didn't suggest we take a break, or do anything that might make him happier.  I knew there wouldn't be a lot of workable images at the end.  

Towards the end, it became obvious that my son wanted to nurse, I told him I would nurse him once we were finished.  At the end of the shoot Michelle said “We have a bathroom if you want to nurse him”. I ignored this.  Once we were all packed up, and she was going to edit the images, she again said “The bathroom is just down the hall, so you can nurse him.” At this point I said “I don't feed my son in the bathroom.” It seems like your store should have enough babies/nursing mothers come in that your employees should be aware that suggesting that a mother feed her baby in the bathroom is gross, and insulting.  Not to mention California Civil Code 43.3 the right to breastfeed in any location, public or private.  

We waited for our images to be finished.  Vanessa called me over to look at the images. As I mentioned, I knew there wouldn't be a lot of usable images, but I was surprised that there were only 17.  And the majority of these were not anything I would choose for a professional picture.  Most of the close up shots that were really cute had the top, or side of the head cut off.  A few of the full shots that were good clearly showed the plastic “wood” flooring pealing up.  Vanessa didn't say anything and seemed really bored to be there.

I was apprehensive about getting my son's pictures from Picture People to begin with, and apparently for good reason.  I won't be returning to your store, or chain, and will definitely dissuade others from going there.

Yeah, it was terrible. Fortunately, I only spent $20,

Originally, we had pictures scheduled with Abby, a girl I know from church. (I say girl, but she's probably just a couple years younger than me). We were scheduled mid-March, but then Bertie and Aaron were sick. So we moved to the next Saturday. But then the baby they were adopting came five weeks early, so she and her hubby had to rush out to Ohio. She just updated her facebook today, the birth mom changed her mind. When I read that, my gut sank. I'm heartbroken for them. They were involved from the very beginning. I went down to tell Dennis, since he knew about the adoption. I was telling him, and he reacted as anyone would. At that moment Janet walked up and asked what happened. (She's never met Abby, and doesn't know her). I told her, and she started crying. (For those who don't know, Aaron was adopted at birth. Janet and Dennis are his parents. He didn't meet his bio-mom until he was 24). This, of course, made me cry. There's nothing you can say, or do. It's human nature to want to help, but this is a helpless situation.

On to better things.

Aside from the terrible news above, today was a pretty good day. I had an early start. Bertie woke up at 3, I let him fuss for 15 or 20 minutes (he was more whining than anything else). Then I went in, changed him, nursed him, and laid him back down. I couldn't go back to sleep. I got up a little after 4. I left for work at 6. Work was normal. When I got home, Bertie was sleeping, but woke up as soon as I went in the house. He was sleeping on the floor. His eyes snapped open, he looked at me, and crawled right over. He also crawled up the stairs twice! That's the first time he's done that. We went to Safeway and got Seltzer water (I'm nearly 2 weeks diet coke free!). Then I decided we would go to Red Lobster for lunch, I had a gift card. I got 1.5 lbs of crab legs. Bertram is usually a bottomless pit, so I assumed he'd eat a lot. He did eat two biscuits, but only a little crab. So we'll have lunch tomorrow. I thought he was tired (I know I was), so we went home. I laid down with him, and then put him in his bed. He didn't sleep. We then went for a nice walk. When we got back, I laid him down again. I got dinner started. I made a Mexican casserole. He still didn't sleep, so I drew and bath, and we both got in. Aaron came home, we got dried and dressed, and ate dinner. Aaron didn't like it, I thought it was good. We walked the dogs. And Bertie went to bed. I'll be doing that same soon.

Today

Today was Tuesday, so I didn't have to work.

I had planned to sleep in, which I guess, technically, I did; since I slept later than 5.  But I would have liked to sleep til 9, but the dog woke me, which woke Bertie.  So we woke up around 8, but didn't get going til 8:30.  We got up, I had cereal, Bertie had pancakes and cherrios.  He had major bedhead this morning. We played a little, but he went down for an early nap.

I started cleaning, and folded laundry.  But Baby B only slept for about 45 minutes.  I was almost done cleaning when we awoke.  I cuddled him for a couple minutes, and then took him down the street to see his grandma so I could finish.  I, then, finished the counters and swept the kitchen and living room.  While sweeping the living room, I found some ants, then I had to spray.  I got dressed and got Bertie.  Then he and I had lunch.  He had strawberries and cheese.  I had a salad and some cottage cheese.

I got Bertie dressed and he and I went for a bike ride.  He loves his new bike seat.  We rode to Kirk Park, he played in the swings, because that's his favourite.  He was getting tired, so we rode back home.  I started the tub, while getting him undressed, then getting myself undressed. It had been a while since I'd bathed with him.  He loves bath time. Nursed a lot in the tub.  Then I put him back to bed again.  It was about 2pm.

I did a little more laundry, and mostly just relaxed.  I watched some daytime tv.  We were scheduled to meet Aaron's mom, dad and aunt at the Cheesecake Factory at 5:30.  I was planning on going there early, so Bertie and I could walk.  But he actually took a really good nap: 2.25 hours!  And he would have slept longer, but I had to wake him. because...

Last Wednesday Aaron's car wouldn't start at work.  I picked him up, and his car was towed to our mechanic.  We borrowed my dad's spare car (dad said keep it indefinitely (aka until he needs in again)) and told the mechanic that he didn't have to hurry, so he didn't (which was fine).  I think his car was done yesterday, but we weren't able to get over there.  Aaron called me and asked if I could go pay for the car.  So...

Bertie work up at 4:15ish (after I prodded him a little, since it was getting late).  We headed to the mechanic, which took a few minutes.  Then we had to go across town, and I decided to take the freeway (which could have been a bad idea, but since I had baby with me we took the carpool lane.

We got to the restaurant around 5:20.  We got a table.  Aaron met us there.  Then the others came.  We had nice a time.  Bertie ate a lot (as usual). Our server was awesome, and brought Bertie his own appetizer plate with small pieces of bread and sliced banana.    We also ordered Bertie his own food.  Sometimes we share with him, but Aaron got a burger, and I got french dip, so it's hard to share that with a baby.  He had grilled chicken and mashed potatoes.  Aaron and I got a piece of cheesecake to go (smores, my choice), because his mom made a pie.  (We'll eat our cake tomorrow).

When we came home, we went for our nightly dog walk.  Bertie got to bed around 8.  I watched Hell's Kitchen, and Aaron went to pick up his car.  And here I am!

Blah blah blah

We finished our taxes and got money back.  Yay!  It's going to be used to pay off my $900 crown and my $481 Humira.  But I got a couple fun things too: a bike seat and helmet for Bertie.  And I'm going to buy myself a new pair of running shoes, since it's been a while.

I really need to get back into exercising again.  I've just been getting my steps in everyday.  It's hard to work in exercise around Bertram's schedule.  He doesn't always nap, and when he does, it's not for a set amount of time.  The only thing I could do would be get up early on Tuesday and Thursday, and I'm not likely to do that.

And now Bertie is awake.  That was quick

And then...

My sister pointed out that I hadn't blogged in over a month.  I've been thinking about blogging, I just never got to it.

Everybody came to visit. Mom was here for two week, Boy and Nate came for a week.  I love when everyone is here. Bertie's birthday was great, he got a lot of gifts.  I made him a no sugar added smash cake.  We did some tourist-y stuff while everyone was here; San Francisco, Santa Cruz.

I had a Crohns flare-up for a bit, since I had to space out my un-affordable Humira.  But it seems to be mostly better now.

I'll do a more complete blog soon.  I need my day by day journal, I can't remember all the things I wanted to touch on.

Too much

My dad had a small heart attack last week.  We went to the hospital for chest pain, and ended up having an angiogram.  He had a stent put in, but one vessel is still blocked.  I went to his follow up with the cardiologist today.  That was when I found out about the heart attack, I thought it was just chest pain.  Here is what else I found out:

• The vessel that is still blocked is called the "widow maker".  
• Because he still has two working vessels they call that "nature's bypass".
• He is still having some minor chest pain.  So he'll be put on an additional pharmaceutical.  Then he'll follow up with the cardiologist in 3 weeks.  If there is still pain, then it'll be time to discuss trying another angiogram.
• It's hard to successfully stent a completely blocked artery.

So it was kind of a scary day.  I have power of attorney should anything catastrophic happen.  He's not even 70 yet.  And the worst part is he's lived a healthy life.  He has always exercised, eaten well and has never been overweight.  Yet here we are: Crohns, that lead to a colectomy, and then heart disease.  You do everything right, and still...

Anyway, he's on an additional heart medicine.  And he's going to try to continue to take Lipitor, but he hasn't done well with statins in the past.  We go back in the beginning of March.

On to something more pleasant

I got my permanent crown yesterday.  Bertie came along, and did pretty well.  My tooth is still sensitive, but it doesn't hurt like the temporary crown did.  That was very expensive, around $700.  But our new insurance will start soon, so hopefully I won't have that kind of issue again.

We started our taxes.  It's looking good, and I haven't done our deductions yet.  We might be able to use itemized deductions this year, due to Bertie's birth, and having to pay for our insurance our of pocket for half the year.

I'm getting excited for Bertie's birthday.  My mom will be here next week, and my sister the week after that!  He's been getting good at crawling.  He's still doing a modified army crawl, but he's fast.  He's starting to pull up, but only in his crib so far.  He has 6 teeth.  He is a good eater, and likes most anything we feed him.

I've been feel a lot better.  I think my depression is lifting.  I'm still tired, a lot.  But I'm not as sad, and unmotivated.  

Aaron's new job is going well.  The first two months is all training.  I really love that he's home by 5:30 every night.

Now Bertie is awake, so I have to stop for now.

A big change, dental work, and catching up

I can now put it in type: Aaron has a new job!  It's something I've been wanting for him for about 2 years.  (Since about a year after he started his current job).  It's nice to work for the boy scouts and all.  And there were some good things, well one that I can think of: his day time hours were flexible.  He could be with the baby for a while in the mornings I had to work.  He could come to doctor appointments, etc.  But otherwise, it wasn't great.  The hours, while flexible, were long.  Lots of nights, and quite a few weekends.  Answering emails, and phone calls when he wasn't working.  No overtime for these long hours.  Having to run the summer camp 3+ hours away.  (Which was hard when we had no kid, but would have been dreadful this summer).  The benefits were terrible.  There were family benefits, which were kind of expensive, for terrible coverage, with no choice of provider.  As in, we would have to meet our $5000 deductible in January just to pay for my Humira.

I told him when looking for a new job, there are 3 criteria; 2 of which must be met.  Better pay, better hours, better benefits.  The new job currently hits 2, but will hit 3 before much time has passed.  Aaron will be working for the Social Service Administration for the county of Santa Clara.  The pay is a little worse, but there is paid overtime.  And there is an automatic raise after the first six months (which will match his current pay).  The hours are 8-5, no weekends, no nights.  The commute is the same.  The benefits are AMAZING! The benefits are free for us.  We get to keep our Kaiser.  But everything is a $10 copay.  ER visits are $35.  Hospital admission is $100.  $100!   That means next time we have a baby it will cost $100.  Period. And my stupid Humira will be $10 a month.  His last day with the scouts in Monday.  And his first day with the county is the following Monday, so he'll have a few days off.

Last Thursday I broke my tooth.  I had a dentist appointment already scheduled for Tuesday.  But they weren't able to verify my benefits, which I wanted to know ahead of time.  (I'd never used them before, I have a different plan before).  And, we weren't sure when Aaron's awesome new benefits would start.  I was hoping they might start February 1st, so I could wait a couple more days, and have my crown paid for.  But alas, they don't start til March 1st.  Then last night more of my tooth broke, so they were able to squeeze me in today.  My in laws, who usual provide my childcare, as needed, are away on a trip.  So Bertie came with me.  He did really well.  They had to take him away from me, into the front office, while they drilled (mercury dust and such).  Now my mouth hurts a bit, but the actual procedure wasn't bad at all.  The financial portion, however, was pretty bad.  It's going to be about $700 after my insurance. And, there is no payment plan.  I put $200 on my credit card today.  The rest is due when I go back for the permanent crown.

In the afternoon, Bertie and I went shopping for groceries.  I like to give him things to hold while we shop.  I gave him a banana to hold, and he kept trying to eat it, peel and all.  It has several bit marks.  Then, while I was looking at other fruit, he picked up a kiwi off the display and tried to eat it.  I thought maybe I could find him a ripe one, but none were ready.  I found a squeezie yogurt

It tasted good, not overly sweet, like a lot of kid yogurt.  And it said it was spill proof.  But by the end of our shopping trip, we both had quite a bit of yogurt on us.

Until next time!