Somehow it's May

We went to the low cost preschool thing.  I have a few reservations.  I was really hoping to have him do 2-3 days a week.  But the only options were full days or part days Monday-Friday.  He's currently signed up for 12:30-3:30 M-F.  The other issue is that he can only have 10 absences for the whole school year.  We already have a week-long trip planned for September, and I was going to stay a little longer than that with the kids.  A couple other issues I have is that the preschool is in a not great area, and I'm anxious about letting him go to strangers.  I know that is somewhat silly, since he will have to go to school at some point, but I am a nervous person.  We're going to go and tour it in July, and see what kind of vibe we get.  If I don't feel good about it, then we will withdraw him.

My sister Jessica is visiting, so we've gone on a few day trips with her and my dad: Monterey Bay Aquarium, Golden Gate Park (twice), Santa Cruz and the Oakland Zoo.  On the trip to Monterey I left Bertram's tablet on the roof of the car.  We retraced our drive when we got home, and there were no signs of it (smooshed or otherwise).  I was so aggravated that I'd done that.  My mom was nice enough to order him a new one.

I went to the dentist a few days ago.  I needed a crown and filling.  But when the dentist looked at the tooth needing the crown, he saw it needed a root canal (then a crown).  I wasn't too concerned, I had a root canal last year (at the endodontist), I had no pain and he did a great job.  This time, I had a lot of pain.  I had 2 or 3 doses of Novocaine before he even started.  Every time he started working it hurt.  I started crying after a bit, because it hurt, and I just couldn't get numb.  The dentist said there was a nuclear numbing option, where I would definitely get numb, or he could give me some antibiotics and we can do it all again in 2 weeks.  I thought about just trying to press through, but I was so stressed I said let's wait.  It was a rough day.  

I've been thinking about a 3rd (last) baby.  We're both unsure.  I would love to have another but a few things are giving me pause.  I don't want Bronwyn to become the middle child (as it sucks).  The kids will have to share a room.  We'll have to get a minivan (or suv).  (Though, we'll likely have to do that anyway.  So we have room to drive the kids, their friends, our family, etc).  Cost of everything (except insurance) will go up.  Plus I was really anxious during my pregnancy with Bron.  We have some time to figure it out, but not too long, I'm going to be 35 with year.

The kids are doing well.  Bertram is reading a lot.  We going to the library every week or so. He's been very into Planet Putty and Galaxy Goo lately.  They are just slime, in different colours.  But it's space related, so he gets very excited.  We have all the planet putty, but only 2 galaxy goo so far.  He loves art projects, especially painting.  He's been practicing using scissors.  I've been giving him a few chores.  He is so good with Bronwyn, and she just loves him.
Bronwyn is army crawling everywhere.  She's starting to pull up a little, and wave.  She may say "more" but I'm not sure yet.  She loves most food, she is still a good nurser. 

There is probably something else I'm forgetting, but that's all I have for now.

Another catch up.

I feel like I have a lot and nothing to say, all at once.

Pregnancy has been going fine.  Baby is pretty active.  I'm 30+1 today.  I feel like I'm getting into the peeing all the time phase.  Also, I'm having more hip issues this time, my pelvis feels creaky at times. Her room is coming together.  We need to move a bookshelf and desk out (though, I'm not sure where the desk is going yet).  And the dresser needs to be cleared out.  So, probably about a day's work.  I need to get the baby carseat out, and resize it for a newborn. We have a late pregnancy class tomorrow night, I think that's the last class I'm signed up for.  And in a couple weeks, I need to take in my pre-admissions paperwork.  It seems odd that somewhere in the next 6-10 weeks we'll become a family of four.  (Ideally closer to 10 weeks, but B was 4 weeks early, so I won't rule it out).  I still look at viability info, in case she comes early.

My older sister has come to visit, which means we're in a period of a lot of day trips.  So far we've been to Happy Hollow, and the SF Zoo.  We're going to the Monterey Aquarium tomorrow, and at some point SF again, and probably Monterey again to see the tide pools (we were going to do that tomorrow, but it's going to be very cold (a high of 58), so I think it'll be postponed).  It's been a lot of fun so far.

Since I'm not on a trip today I need to get the house cleaned up.  Normal stuff and laundry.

My allergies are still terrible.

24. A smattering of Jessica and Rachel shenanigans.

Here are some of the things we were up to as kids:

• At a carpet store, we climbed the pyramid of carpet rolls.  Dad said to come down, to which I said to Jessica "We don't have to listen to him."  It turned out we did.
• We used my mom's Toyota's windshield as a slide.
• When we were really little (3 and 4ish) we would pee in the backyard.  I don't know why.  I think we were pretending to be cats, and that's what cats do.
• Once when we were in the bath, we cover ourselves with soap suds, and told mom we were ghosts.
• We had an imaginary ghost that lived in our room.  (At least I assume he was imaginary).  We called him shadow.
• We would run through the racks of clothes at the store, but I think all kids do this.
• We dressed up Drummer (the cat) on more than one occasion (or at least attempted to).
• When Rebecca was a baby, we would pull on the corners of her mouth and say "Happy, sad, happy, sad" and giggle like mad.

7. Jessica

Jessica is my older sister.  If you read my blog regularly, you'll likely have seen my younger sister mentioned a lot.  But Jessica scarcely makes it in.  She reads the blog and once asked if it was because I am embarrassed of her.  I told her no, she and I just don't do a lot together.

I can remember when we were little we had so much fun together!  We played with dinosaurs, blocks, Legos and chess.  (Neither of us are good at chess, but we both knew what all the pieces did, so we played without strategy).  She was super smart, and taught herself to read around age 3.  Once she could read, you'd think she'd read kids books.  Nope, she read the encyclopedia, and the dictionary and any book she could find about animals.  So when we would pretend to be animals, we were often amoeba or paramecium.

 When we were in elementary school she was in special ed.  I never really thought about why.  It didn't occur to me for a long time that she was different.  (And while it did occur to my parents, Jessica was 10 (I think) once she was finally diagnosed with Asperger's).  Though I can remember being on the playground at recess, and kids making fun of her.  Or saying there was a bee on her head so she would fling her hands around and run off screaming.  I am ashamed to say that I didn't speak up, step in, or defend her when the asshole bully kids called her retarded.  That is one of those things that has stuck with me; a time (many times, actually) I had the opportunity to do the right thing, and I did nothing.

Fortunately, my parents found a private school for her starting in 6th grade.  The school was originally in Palo Alto (which was 15 miles from my mom's hospital, or 24 miles from our house).  This was a long commute, especially after my mom had either worked 8-12 hours.  (I'm not sure why my parents decided my mom would always drive her).  After a few years the school moved to Santa Clara, which was pretty close to the hospital and not super far from the house.  Anyway, I thought the school was awesome.  But I've recently found out there were still asshole bully kids there (which seems odd, they're all in the same boat, disability-wise).

I think somewhere in late elementary school we started to be less close.  And once puberty hit her it hit her hard.  It was difficult for her, and my parents.  And I felt like the left out middle kid.  Jessica got attention because of her issues, Rebecca got attention because she was the baby.  I got attention by picking on either or both of them.  And I was jealous that I could go to private school too, not knowing how much private school actually costs.  And my folks were always good with their money, we weren't spoiled, but we didn't want for much either. (Reading all this, it's no wonder my parents got divorced).

My dad always said I had the magical ability to cheer her up when she was sad.  I honestly don't remember doing that, but it seems like something I'd do.

Jessica lives with my mom in Virginia.  (Well, she lives next door.  My mom moved into Glenn's house, so Jessica pretty much has mom's house to her self).  She goes out with her aid/helper/??? a few times a week, and volunteers on an animal helpline.  I feel sad/frustrated that there isn't something more she can do.  Or that where they are doesn't have the services of San Jose.  I think there is a lot she is capable of doing (and enjoying), but there is no one to facilitate it.  My mom is tapped out, and her job coach doesn't do anything.  The other issue is transportation.  That part of Virginia is semi-rural, and has no public transpo.  And Jessica doesn't drive.

Anyway, I feel like I've rambled on a long time.  I wish we were closer, but Asperger's doesn't allow a lot of interpersonal skills,  So we reconnect twice a year (when she comes out here to visit dad, or when I go out there).  Jessica, start a blog, then I know what you're up to. 

I little time out.

My sister, Jessica, has come for her annual visit.  So we've been doing a lot of day trips with dad.  We went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium last week.  Today we went to the San Francisco Zoo.  Thursday we're going back to the city to go to the California Academy of Sciences, and Sutro Baths.  It's been a lot of fun.  Bertie's come with us, of course, but he's too young to notice any of it.  I keep hoping something will catch his eye.  Mostly it's my dad and me hanging out, since Jess ventures out on her own.  I've been enjoying the one-on-one time, since we don't hang out a lot, for whatever reason.

I've been trying to work harder at trying to get back into shape.  Counting calories, exercising and getting all my steps in.  I'm still eating over 2000 calories a day, but I'm burning more than I'm taking in.  I started the Bikini Body Mommy Challenge this week.  It's a HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout.  It's hard, but it's good, since it's only 20 minutes a day.  It alternates cardio days and strength days.  And I'm making sure I'm getting in 10k+ steps every day (except Sundays, I usually don't get all the steps).  Most days I get 12k-ish.

Julius has become a bad cat as of late.  He's been spraying/peeing in the house.  So he's going to be a mostly outside cat.  We're tried all sorts of other solutions.  But the final straw was him peeing in Bertie's crib.  He seems to like being outside.  And Aaron talked to the vet about it, as long as we keep up his shots and flea meds, he should be ok.

Bertie has been doing well lately.  He's been doing well at sleeping, and even slept through the night one night last week. He hasn't done it since, but he usually will sleep in two sets of 5 hours each.  He's still great at nursing.  He's started smiling a little bit more, which is really fun.  And some cooing sounds are starting.  Aaron and I take turns bathing with him.  Bertram loves baths, and he's surprisingly buoyant.   We're still cloth diapering, but at night he wears paper.  He was starting to get rashy from being wet for so long.

I really love staying at home (which I knew I would).  It's a great balance of work and fun, routine and free time.  The house is pretty clean (most days), I stay on top of the laundry, and there is less stress.  I don't need to be in bed by any specific time, if I'm up more in the night (which hasn't been an issue lately) it's not a big deal.  If he's having a fussy day we can snuggle.  (Though, those days are stressful, because having a baby cry non-stop is so hard).

Bertie and I (and Aaron) have our plane tickets to go to Virginia.  Bertie and I are flying out by ourselves, Aaron comes part way through the trip, and we all fly home together.  I made sure we had very long layovers, and we're sitting in the late row on every flight.  Plus my mom is borrowing a car seat, so we don't need to lug one through the airport.  I'm excited, and a little nervous about how he'll handle the flights.

I need to pump and go to bed.