This and that

 I'm posting from my phone, I'll have to try to remember to add pictures later.

I signed Bron up for a "science camp". It's really a half day class with lots of hands on things to do. Yesterday she lasted 90 minutes. Today she lasted about an hour. I think I'll see if I can sit in the class with her tomorrow, and see if that might help. It's a good lesson for me though, keep her activities on the shorter side.

Last week they had swimming lessons. Bert did great all week, which I expected. Bron did a little less well than I thought she would. She had a full on meltdown one day during lessons, so that was fun. But she needs to be comfortable in the water before she can swim. Maybe I just need to spring for private lessons at some point. Someone who is used to working with ASD kids. 

My mom was here for 2 weeks, which was awesome, as always. And it went by too fast, as always.

Bron had a very low-key Birthday party. Her favourite cousin wasn't able to be there, so it was her cousin Isaac, and Bertram, and that was it for kids. But we had pizza, which she ate. And unicorn cake, which she did not eat. She was really enthusiastic about every gift she received. "Oh thank you!" "This is what I really wanted!" Etc. We got her thank you notes written and sent, so her birthday is officially done.

And we start birthday month. My MiL, my dad, Aaron, my sister, and the kid's cousin. Followed shortly by my other sister in early September.  Hopefully I didn't forget anyone.

The kids start school in about 10 days. We have a meeting with Bertram's pediatrician in a couple days to discuss medication for him, for school. The ADHD is strong with that one. He is hesitant about trying it, but he seems to be willing. At this point, it is nearly impossible to get him to take medicine. I'm hoping it's something I can crush and put in his smoothies.  We've been practicing swallowing pills with mini m&M's, but haven't had any success yet.

Bron is also going to be re-evaluated for ADHD about a month after school starts. She was close to the threshold last time she was tested, so we'll see where she is at this point.

She has been having major bedtime issues for the last month or so. Most nights she is up past 10. Some nights midnight. Melatonin doesn't seem to do anything for her. We've kept a routine, limited screen time, woken her up early, but nothing has made a difference.  Meanwhile, Bertram is a very good sleeper. Asleep by 8 most nights, up at 530 or 6 every morning.

I've been feeling poorly for the past 4 days. Mostly a sore throat. That's my only remaining symptom. I had body aches, headache, low fever and fatigue. It felt like the flu, without respiratory symptoms. I was covid negative.

Let's see, what else has happened? I can't remember if I mentioned this before. I took the kids to the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco. Bron really had been wanting to go. I should have done a virtual walkthrough with her, so she knew what to expect. They really enjoyed the aquarium, they were feeding the fish lettuce, which was neat. They weren't very impressed by the dinosaur exhibit (which was specifically what we came for). Then we tried to go in the living rainforest. Bron freaked out! She was screaming and crying and saying we were going to die in there for sure. I felt bad, but it's a one way exhibit, so we couldn't just leave. It was hot and humid in there, and I had to carry her up 3 stories of ramps to the top. I was sweating a lot. The whole time Bert kept asking to go home (turned out he had a fever). After the rainforest, Bron was done. It was a short, expensive day. 

Mid-Late June

At the end of April I had an appointment with my tattoo artist.  I added on two flowers for my grandparents.  A magnolia blossom and Queen Anne's lace.  Both of which make me nostalgic for my childhood summers on their farm.

In May there was a carnival at Bert's school.  I think Bron enjoyed it more than Bert did.  But they both had enough fun.  Bert was hoping the snow cone truck would come, but it didn't.  There was a churro truck, which was a good consolation.  

The next day was Scout-o-Rama.  Bron got over-stimulated.  Bert had a good time.  

The kids participated in some online research for eye-tracking related to autism.  They both got a gift card for amazon.  They both like participating in research projects (the gift cards help).  But I always sign up for various research studies too, something my mom instilled in me.

We went to the Makers' Fair the weekend after Scout-o-Rama.  It's where local people sell local-made goods.  We went to one before Christmas as well.  I really enjoy them, and the kids get bored.  Next time I think we'll leave them with the grandparents.  It's hard to look at lots of things with them.  They both do pretty well when we go shopping, but I guess this is different.

Bronwyn's school had young author's fair.  She, originally didn't participate.  The teacher worked, and worked with her.  She even offered to write, if Bron would dictate.  No dice.  So I wasn't going to go to the presentation, because she had nothing to present.  Aaron took her to school that day, and told me I needed to come and be with her, she was starting to freak out.  So I came to school to be with her.  And she was starting to melt down.  But I found out, that she did write the book, in her speech class, so she had something to present.  She was worried that so-and-so was in her group and he'd be mean to her.  It turns out so-and-so wasn't in her group, so she calmed down.  She read her book to the group of bigger kids without issue.  I was so so proud of her and told her as much.  Writing is the hardest thing for her.  

Around this time, my older sister came for her annual visit.  She and my dad went to Vegas, and a few other more local places.

Kids finished up the school year.  

Bron had a field trip to the park with her class.  I volunteered to go along, mostly to keep an eye on her, because situations that are different are hard for her.  She did fine.  Until we got back, then she was melting down a little.  Hitting, and being mean.  But she rallied.  At the end of the year, the whole class got awards for various things.  Bron got the Reset Award for being able to reset her emotions when she gets upset.  That is a well-earned, hard-worked for award.  I think she was able to finish up the school year without getting send home.
We were originally hoping that Bron could switch to Bert's school after kindergarten.  But her school is a better fit for her, and she in able to get more services there.  So she'll stay.  It's rough having two kids at two schools. But we do what we have to do.

Bert did a presentation on How to do Scratch.  I went and recorded it.  He did a great job.  The kids really liked it, and were very interested.  He did pretty well at the end.  His report card only had a couple of 2s and Ns.  

We went to the tide pools with the scout troop.  I think the kids really enjoyed it.  And I like the anemones.  I hadn't been to the tide pools in a long time.  We stayed at the beach for a bit after.  But Bronwyn got run over by a wave, which was our cue to head home.

I had 2 unsuccessful blood/platelet donations in a row.  The first time, they couldn't get a good vein (and they're only allowed to stick you once).  I think my draw-er was new.  I went back a couple weeks later to donate platelets, but my red loss was too high, so I wasn't able to donate.  

Bronwyn started Summer school.  It's just 8-11am, short days, which are nice.  The first day was a little rough, but she found her groove after that.  

On June 1st, Nanny passed away.  She had been ready for a long time, well over a year.  I got to see her in January, which was good, but she didn't remember me.  I bought last minute plane tickets for her memorial (June 17th).  I flew on Breeze for the first time.  It was a long flight, but having a direct flight was really nice.  I had to leave from SFO, but that wasn't a huge deal.  I got to spend a lot of time with my mom, which was awesome.  I got to see my sister and nephew a bit too.  Little Eddie isn't so little anymore.  He's not a huge fan of me.  My sister and I got mani/pedis.  The only time I ever do that is when she takes me.  I enjoy it, I should do it more.  But I have  hard time doing those things for myself.  The memorial was kind of weird.  Like really Jesus-y.  And very focused on being saved.  Which is fine for some, but she wasn't really like that when she was a live.  She was a devoted Christian and "knew" Jesus.  But, aside from meal-time prayer I do not remember Jesus ever being mentioned. My sister enjoyed catching up with the cousins at the luncheon.  She was like, you can talk to them too.  But I don't really have a relationship with any of them.  She does.  I think a lot of that is the fact that she lives there, and I don't.  But my social anxiety was on high.  

For my 40th birthday, Aaron did a Rachel day.  I got a nap, we went to Target and bought things I want.  We got what I wanted for lunch.  And we had a fancy (expensive) dinner.  Aaron ordered me a piece of jewelry, but it wasn't delivered until the 12th, actually the 15th.  So I got it when I got back from my trip.  

We also celebrated our 18th Anniversary.  But on that day, we found out that Bronwyn had covid.  So we ordered lunch in.  

Sick Bron

At the tide pools

The park field trip

My 40th Birthday

Painting the sidewalk

Bron's book for Young Author's Fair

Presenting her book

Bron and my sister

Bert's presentation

Bert at Scout o Rama

The magnolia tattoo

End of July

Bertram did pretty well with his Space Camp.  I should have just told him it was preschool.  I think he was expecting a real rocket, or something.  His cousin, Kaylee, was in the class with him, which was nice.  But he had a hard time with me leaving, most days.  I found a method that worked for both of us, by the end of the week.  (I go in with him.  He says he wants to go home.  I ignore that and sit down.  After a minute or so, he gets something to play with.  Then he gets really into whatever he's doing.  I tell him "I'm going in 2 minutes."  He says ok.  Two minutes later I tell him bye, and he barely looks up).  All in all, he had fun.

I think I mentioned previously, that I signed Bertie up for free preschool.  But it was every day, and not on the best side of the city.  I found a preschool program through San Jose Parks and Rec, which was just what I wanted.  Two half days a week, close enough to walk to (1.2 miles away) and doesn't cost a fortune.  ($197 a month, which is about $100 less than any other program in the area). He starts on the 28th of August and goes til May 30.  I've got to get him excited, maybe having him choose a backpack and lunch box? 
Here is the description:
This class prepares your child for kindergarten with age-appropriate
activities, learning concepts, socialization skills and fun. Your child will gain
a basic understanding of shapes, colors and pre-phonics and literacy
building (i.e. identifying letter sounds, and writing the alphabet and simple
words), as well as number recognition, and counting up to 30. The goal is
to have fun, participate and learn. Children must be fully potty trained before the start of class. Requirements for parent attendance, volunteers, snacks, etc. varies by center.

I think some of it may be boring for him.  He knows colours, and shapes, and he reads fairly well.  But the socialization will be good, and counting.  He can get to 12, then skips a couple numbers going to 30. And phonics will be good.  He knows the letter sounds, but doesn't seem to associate them with words.  His reading is about 90% sight reading.  So it's exciting.

Bronwyn turned one last week.  She had her well check on Friday.  She is still a tiny girl 16lb12.4oz, and 28 inches tall.  I think that is 8%ile for weight, and 16%ile for height.  But she is good on all developmental issues.  She's just a tiny girl.  She has 4 teeth, and it working on a couple more.  She got three shots: MMR, Hep A and chicken pox.  She was grumpy immediately following her appointment, but was fine the rest of the day.  (Poor kid, she cried so hard).  I'm feeding her meals first, then nursing after, to see if that will help her gain a little weight. 

We had her party on Saturday.  It was low key, just family.  I had some water stuff for the older cousins (they are 4, 5, and 6) to play will.  We had Eggrolls, rice, watermelon, veggies and cake.

She liked this little splash pad.

She wasn't a fan of her smash cake.

She was very tired at the end, because she'd missed a nap.  

My mom is here (because of Bronwyn's birthday).  I love having her around.  I wish she lived closer.  But I'm glad I get to see her as much as I do (especially because 3000 miles is far away).  

The kids started swimming lessons last week.  (It's 2 weeks mon-thur). Bertie is in the tot class (Turtles) and Bron and I are in the baby class (Whales).  This is the first time Bertram has done swimming lessons without me.  He's doing very well, from what I can tell.  I watch him while I'm doing things with Brony on the otherwise of the pool.  Bronwyn is really too young for the actual instruction.  But she enjoys being in the water.  She really likes jumping in.  At the side of the pool, she climbs out.  And stands up, holding my fingers.  I help her jump in, she smiles and wants to go again and again.  I dunked her under a little bit, and it didn't bother her at all.

I bought our plane tickets to go to Virginia.  We'll be going to Myrtle Beach from there.  I'm really excited.  I love the beach, and both kids love the beach.  Aaron could take or leave the beach, but likes vacation.  It took forever to get the tickets sorted out.  We had $800 in travel certificates from United (from when Aaron chose to get bumped last year).  But I have to do Aaron's reservation separate from me and the kids because he comes back sooner.  So I had two screens going at once, so we could have seats together. But I got to the end, and it wasn't accepting the certificate (an error message kept popping up).  So I called customer service, and got Aaron's done.  I figured mine would work, but it didn't.  So I had to call back and do it again.  All in all, it took almost an hour to get it all done.

The week past

On Monday the kids and I went to Santa Cruz with my dad.  We walked on West Cliff Drive, and then went to Cowell's beach, just for a few minutes.  I didn't bring sunblock, for whatever reason.  I was worried about the kids getting sunburned, and I knew I was sunburned.  Bertram loves the beach, even though our beaches are so cold (the water is usually in the low 60's).  Bronwyn liked sitting in the sand, and eating it (weirdo).  I got a pretty bad sunburn, but the kids were unscathed.

Wednesday was my birthday.  I'm 35.  I feel very old.  In my head I'm still in my mid-20s.  I thought it would be fun to take the kids to the aquarium (as Aaron was working, and it seemed better than hanging out at home).  We went to my dad's house (we always drive his Prius on our day trips, even though it's annoying to move the car seats back and forth).  I moved the seats and then realized I left my aquarium tickets at home. (My dad has a membership.  I hold on to the two guest passes, and Bertram has his own pass). So we all rode to my house and got the tickets. On the way there, my dad's security camera sent him an alert.  He has a packaged dropped off right after we left.  So we drove back over there so he could bring it in.  (He lives 5 or 6 miles away).  So after all the back and forth we finally got on the road.  We all had a good time.  Bertram is getting interested in the exhibits, which is fun.  Plus, since we go there every month or two he has some familiarity.  Bronwyn was interested too, which was fun.  A couple times I put her up against the glass, but it made her nervous.  Bertram was disappointed we left before seeing everything we wanted to see, but since we left so late, we ran out of time. 
When we came home, Aaron, the kids, and I went to Red Lobster for dinner. Bertram's behaviour was so-so.  Bronwyn (surprisingly) didn't like crab. 
Aaron bought an ice cream cake (which we didn't end up eating til the next day).  I opened my gifts and got a lot of nice things.  My mom sent a box with 35 things in it. 

We didn't do much the rest of the week.  I've been really tired lately, even with (seemingly) adequate sleep.  I exercised Monday and Tuesday, but haven't done anything since.  Bertram and I tried to work on a papier mache project today (planets, of course).  It turns out, he is too young for papier mache.  I did all the work, but we're only about halfway done.

No new teeth for Brony yet. I found out that the likes her baby swing, which is kind of fun.

We're still going back and forth about having a third kid.  But I'm feeling a little more urgency, now that I'm 35.  There are a lot of cons.  But really I suppose, really there are mostly cons when thinking about having a kid in general (added expense, difficult pregnancy, potential issues with baby, how it would affect the other kids etc).

Another month later

So after a short stay with Effexor, I've moved onto Cymbalta.  It's only been a week or so. 

I'm getting really tired of depression.  It's really annoying to be at the mall, or reading to the kids, or driving and suddenly feel like breaking down.  Doing something fun, and wanting to break.  Then, when you are alone and can cry, nothing happens.  It's like my emotions are completely broken.  And my sex drive is completely gone.  Poor Aaron.  It's just kind of shitty all around.

My mom was out here for 3 weeks for Bertie's birthday.  It was so nice having her here, and it went way too fast.  Both kids loved having her here.  I'm not sure that Bertram ever stopped talking.  And Bron is just the most smiling, happiest kid around. 

We had Bertie's 4th birthday.  Just family, like always (or at least another year).  He wanted a PJ Masks party.  So we found decorations and balloons and all the usual things.  I made two cakes.  He originally told me he wanted a chocolate and strawberry cake.  I made one with chocolate frosting, and then he told me he wanted vanilla frosting.  So I made a second cake (which is just as well, since one probably wouldn't have been enough).  They both turned out well.  We had fruit, veggies and pizza.  Then he wanted to open gifts.  He got a lot of space stuff, books, and puzzles.  He was a happy guy.  We sang and all had cake.  The kids were playing with the star-shaped confetti, which I told them not to do while they ate.  I think Bertram must have set his fork down on one, because he started crying and gagging.  (God, it was so scary, I'm still upset over it).  I ran over and looked in his mouth, I couldn't see it.  He kept saying that it hurt, and would gag again.  I tried finger-sweeping him, with no success.  I called my mom to help.  She wasn't panicked like I was.  He gagged a few more times and out it came.  He gagged a little more and then cried and cried.  I held him and cried too.  I kept thinking, why did I put that stupid confetti there?  He got over it a lot quicker than I did.  (Since I'm still not).  But it didn't ruin his day, which is good.

He had his well check.  He is just about 50th% for height and weight.  He's still not jumping or peddling, so we're starting PT tomorrow.  And he sees the ophthalmologist on Monday to determine if he's colour blind.  I told him he wasn't getting any shots, because he was concerned.  The problem was, I didn't know he was getting boosters.  He was sad, and cried.  And I did my best not to cry, because, my emotions are out of whack. 

Anyway, on top of all the depression stuff, the kids are my sunshine.  I just think about how lucky I am to be their mom.

I made an ice cream cake for Aaron's birthday.  I asked him what kind of cake he wanted.  (Usually he'd ask for a Carvel Fudgie the Whale cake.  But our "local" (about 25 minutes away) Carvel closed. Now the only one in NorCal is in Placerville, 2.5 hours away.  For my birthday we bought a Baskin Robbins cake, but it was small, and $30+.  I read a couple recipes online and decided I could make my own ice cream cake.  I was actually a bit dubious that I would be able to pull it off.

First I gathered my supplies.  I went to Target and bought 2 boxes of chocolate cake mix, two cartons of cookies and cream ice cream, one carton of vanilla, a tub of cool-whip, and two decorating icings.  I wanted extras, in case I made a mistake.  I baked 2 9x9 squares and 1 loaf cake.  I leveled the squares and cut the loaf in half, long-ways. The recipes I read said to slice the ice cream and then cut the cake to fit the slices.  I found that to be stupid.  So I cut the ice cream into 1" slices, and assembled them on the cakes.  I put the big (whole) slices on first, and then cut smaller pieces to fit.  The ice cream was getting melty, so I put the cakes in the freezer.
The recipe said to frost the cake with vanilla ice cream, but I thought cool-whip would be easier.  And it was pretty easy.  No melting, and it filled in the gaps on the side really well.  The downside with cool-whip is that it doesn't freeze super firm, and while that makes for a nice cake, it makes decorating a little tricky, as the icing didn't stick to it well.  I ran out of cool-whip for the loaf, so I used chocolate cream cheese frosting.  That turned out fine, but was a little overly sweet.
It turned out really well, and got a lot of compliments.  I am going to experiment with icing with vanilla.  But it is now my go to birthday cake.  It's easy, but a little labour intensive, but it looks and tastes great.  And the total cost was under $10.

Aaron took the Friday before him birthday off.  We went to the Jelly Belly factory, and my dad came too.  Bertie was really enthralled with some of the robots on the factory floor, but not too interested in the actual candy making process.  It was a nice trip.

I've been having weird insomnia lately.  Either I can't sleep, or I wake up at 2 or 3 and can't go back to sleep (like tonight).  I took half of a Midnite (dissolving melatonin) and fell asleep at 10.  I've been up since about 2 (it's 4 now).  I may talk to my shrink about it, maybe not.  There isn't a whole lot I can do.  I get up at the same time most days, I don't nap, I don't drink too much caffeine, I relax a bedtime.  I suppose I could get Ambien again, but it's kind of a stop-gap.

My tooth has been feeling about the same.  I got my Novamin tooth paste about 5 days ago.  So far it doesn't feel too different.  But I go back to the dentist on Thursday.

Potty training has been going ok.  More of the same, really.  Still not really pooping in the potty, but he's pretty good about peeing.  He doesn't wear diapers or pull ups in the day time.

Catching up

We had Bertie's second birthday.  Just a small affair with family, pizza and cake.  Bertie had a good time, and got some nice gifts.

My mom was here for 2 blissful weeks.  I love having her here, and Bertie does too.  We always have fun together.  We went to the aquarium on day with my dad.  Bertie loved it!  It's fun to see my parents together again too.  Like we get to play the happy family, which we actual are now.  Funny, how divorce can make things better for everyone.  And, unlike make divorced couples, they can actual hang out, and be friends.
(Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm the stay at home parent.  Some days Bertie and I have so much fun.  I know I'd be jealous if the situation was reversed).

I ordered my bridesmaid dress today.  Well, skirt.  I'm pretty excited, because I'll actually be able to wear it again.  But it's going to take til mid April to get here.  :-/

I've been keeping up with my exercise.  I've only missed one day so far this year.  I want to concentrate more on running.  But I've been really tired lately, which makes 6am running hard.  I tried a beginning plyometrics workout today.

 But, I've been eating like crap lately.  Lots of sugar, lots of diet coke.  And I've been more flexitarian than vegetarian.

My friend Brianon had her baby yesterday.  She had a lot similarities to Bertie's birth.  Emergency c-section, babies in NICU.  I wish I could be there to help out and meet baby Henry.

We finally got some rain today.  It's supposed to continue for a while.

Birthdays, Beach, Trampolines, etc

I turned 32. I feel old.

We went to the flea market.  We found an extra-wide baby gate for $10.  Score!  After that we got burgers at The Habit.  There was a Radio Shack closing sale, and we found a few good deals there.  We came home so Bertie could nap.  We ran a couple errands, and then went to Red Lobster for dinner.  Bertie ate crab, shrimp and a whole lemon slice.  (He's weird).  Aaron and Bertie got me gift certificates for massages.  And we had ice cream cake after dinner.

Monday was (hopefully) the hottest day of the week.  So I'd planned to take Bertie to Santa Cruz.  That morning I caught him eating out of the trash can (moldy blackberries, and an apricot pit in the other hand).  Before hitting the road we ran into Bed, Bath and Beyond to look for a new trash can (one that he can't get into).  But, the ones that might work were at least $160.  No thanks.
We headed over the hill, Bertie napped the whole way.  I put him in his rash guard, and we walked down to the beach.  We stopped at a small inlet, and he splashed around.  That water was warm, shallow, and slow moving, so he was happy.  After that we walked along the water.  I had him in a sling, he liked looking at the ocean, and seeing all the kids and dogs.  I stood him in front of me, so the waves could wash on us.  I held his left hand, in his right he was clutching my sunglasses like a security blanket.  He liked the waves, as long as I held him tight.
I realized I should have brought a change of clothes for me.  I didn't think about it, but I was all wet and sandy.  Bertie didn't like getting changed, he wanted to nurse a lot (so we did).  Then we went to Marianne's to get ice cream.  I got the bigger scoop, because usually Bertie can't get enough.  But I couldn't even get him to take a bite!

On Tuesday we went to Rockin' Tots at the trampoline gym.  I had a lot of fun, I love trampolines.  Bertie wasn't too sure.  He liked the blocks from the foam pit, but not actually being in the foam pit.  Mostly, he just wanted to got down the stairs (which I didn't pay $15 for us to do).  He did crawl off the edge into the foam pit a couple times. I think once he can walk he'll have more fun.

Today is grandma's 91st birthday.  We got together with the family and had dinner.  Bertie had pineapple for the first time, he ate pickled beets, some shrimp, and bread.  He also (possibly) took a step, just one, from the table to Janet.  I missed it, of course.
Earlier today something unusual happened: it rained!  It's been a lot time since it rained, and it came down pretty good for a while.  Before the rain, I put Bertram on my back and mowed the lawns.  I tried to shower with him after, but he didn't like that, so we bathed instead.  After the bath, he wanted to nurse.  We did skin to skin, and nursed.  Then he peed on me, and the bed.  I'd just changed the sheets yesterday, fortunately we have a waterproof mattress cover. I started the laundry, then we ran a couple errands.

Quick Sunday Post

Psyching myself up to go to church.  Since Aaron's been gone, I've been pretty happy cloistering myself, so I'd rather not go.  But I'll at least go for the first part, and take it from there.  Here are some other tidbits:

• Took the dogos to Rio del Mar beach yesterday.  It was a lot of fun.  I'm embarrassed to say that I'm actually sore from all the sand walking/running.  It's easier with two people, but Aaron always gets nervous driving distances with the dogs.  Mostly because Yoie will trampoline back and forth across the front seats.
• Since we didn't have anything specific to do, I took the long, roundabout way home.  It was nice, except I was hoping to see all the little fruit stands I remembered from my youth.  But there were none.  I did, however, get the dogs lunch from a Jack in the Box drive through.  Grilled chicken strips, seemed dog appropriate, and they were so hungry.
• Friday was Humira day.  It hurt, as always.  And I have a nice little bruise.  I probably need to talk to my doctor, it seems like I'm bruising easily lately.
• I finally thought of a couple things for Aaron's birthday.  But since he reads the blog from time to time, I won't elaborate.
• It's birthday time. Friday was my MiL's birthday.  Saturday was my dad's birthday.  And today is my sister in law's birthday.  Plus Rebecca and Aaron's birthdays at the end of the month.
• I've been cutting out milk lately (just milk, not all dairy) in favour of soy milk.  A lot less calories, since I'm trying to drop a little weight.  One cup has half the calories of 1% milk.  So I think I'll be doing that for a while.
• As of yesterday, I'm down 6lbs in 5 weeks.  Yay me!  139 and feelin' fine.  Well, as fine as I can feel. :-P  I'm trying to get down to 135 right now (I should be there in another month).  And then maybe I'll aim for 132 or 130, we'll see.  Exercising is the hardest part, since I still have no energy.  I've been using the myfitnesspal app.  It's great, I love it.  So I'm doing it healthfully, and making sure I'm getting all my needed vitamins.
• There was a little hiccup at work this week.  Well, a big hiccup, but only a small one having to do with me.  I was entering some of the billing wrong, which I discovered a week or so ago.  But I wasn't fixing the error correctly.  So I'm working on going back and fixing that.  I'm meeting with the owner tomorrow, just to update him on that, and show him the processes.
• The big hiccup doesn't have to do with me, except that I'm helping out.  One of the front desk gals, J, is newly pregnant (10 weeks) and has been ridiculously sick.  As in she had to get IV fluids, and she's lost so much weight that her OBGYN said she can't work for at least 3 weeks!  She is the opener for the front desk.  Cue where I come in.  I'm now opening at the main office from 7 til 8 or 9 depending on the day.  Then I go over to the billing office for the rest of the day, barring any complications, in which case, I go back, and help out at the main office.  It's a lot of back and forth, but I don't mind too much.  I actually get to see people this way, since I'm usually all alone at the other office.

The birthday that wasn't.

I think I'm going to have to do a birthday do-over.

First off, I was/am in the middle of a flare up.  So my guts hurt, I didn't want to eat (because when you eat, they hurt more).


Maybe I should start off with the happier stuff.  I got a lot of nice gifts.  Aaron gave me a Kindle Fire.  My mom got me a Citizen Eco watch.  So that was all nice.  And I took the day off work, and set up a hair appointment.

Before:

After:

Lighter, a little shorter and bangs.  Yay.

After that Aaron and I had planned to go out to lunch.  But I felt too crappy.  So I got a Jamba Juice, and he got real food.

Then we were off to Kaiser.  I started on Humira.  So I needed to pick it up and then go to the injection clinic to learn how to use it.  I was concerned about the price, because Humira is very expensive.  But... my 8 40-mg syringes came to $35.  I looked at the receipt to see how much I saved with my insurance.  The list price was $3500!  Holy crap.  I am so glad I have insurance (and good insurance at that).

Then we walked upstairs to the injection clinic.  The nurse was telling me about what to do, how to prep, etc.  I made Aaron come, so he'd know how to do it, in case I wanted him to.  

This is how it goes:
2 shots yesterday
2 shots today
2 shots in two weeks
1 shot every two weeks following

I have to do the shots subcutaneously, so in the tummy or upper thigh.  I chose tummy.  It hurt.  And then after the second one, I had a vasovagal response.  I could hear the rushing in my ears, I starting sweating, and I thought I was going to barf.  The nurse ran off to find a blood pressure cuff.  I told Aaron to find me a trash can.  "What?"  I said "I think I'm going to throw up.  Trash can!  Trash can!  TRASH CAN!"  I did dry heave twice, but no barf.  Then I had to lay down for a while.  And drink grape juice.

Aaron had to go back to work for a meeting, and didn't come home til after 9.30.  :-/  I rested at home for a bit.  Then went to the mall for a while.  Depression started creeping in.  I went home and had a bit of a break down.

So all in all not great.  I think July 6th or 7th I'll have a birthday do-over.  The cake and going out to dinner and some fun activity, and actually seeing my husband.  

Bleh

I turn 29 in 2 days.  O_o  Not sure how I feel about this.  There is certainly more I wanted to accomplish by 29: have a college degree, have (procure) a baby, be able to travel...  But there are a lot of other things: we live in a nice house, we have doggies (and catties) (all rescues), I haven't eaten a land animal in over three years, and I haven't had sugar in 10+ days!

I'm starting Humira on Wednesday.  Not sure how I feel about that either.  Self-injectables don't sound great.  Plus I'm not sure how much it's going to cost.  And I still have to continue my other drug regiment.  I think that's the worst part.  I was hoping it would replace some of them.  And it will, in 3-4 months, but for now, lots and lots of drugs.  I just want to be well again.  I want to stop having flare-ups.  I want to not have to worry about running to the bathroom and not making it.  And maybe not be exhausted all the time.