Bertram has been doing better at school lately.  We had a mini IEP meeting on Wednesday that went pretty well.  On Wednesday, he got his Invisalign.  They were supposed to glue on little anchors, but Bert wouldn't let them.  The orthodontist said we could try them without and see how he does.  He didn't want to keep them in his mouth.  I was feeling worried.  But Thursday we practiced wearing it after school.  Today he wore the top and bottom after school without issue.  (He was playing with them a lot the first couple days).  Tonight, he agreed to sleep with the top one in.  Which is a big change, since he was concerned about swallowing it.  We're going back next Wednesday to follow up.  Bertie has said he's ready to switch to the next trays, but I'm going to wait til the next appointment.  I feel like, in general, Bert's attitude has been improving.  He is just fun to be around.  We did an ADHD assessment ad we're waiting to hear back about that.  We're also meeting with the district psychologist to see if there might be a program that would be a better fit, as being in a class with 27 kids is a lot.  So a lot is in the works.

Bronwyn has been doing well too.  She has been doing food practice in ABA.  Before that she would mainly eat Ensure and squeeze applesauce, and sprinkle in French fries, pretzels, crackers, cookies, ice cream and sometimes pancakes.  That was about it.  The first few times of food practice were awful.  She pretty much cried for 30+ minutes straight and not try anything.  Or we'd sort of pin her down and pop something in her mouth.  It was hard to be part of and hard to listen to.  But like potty training, it's like something just clicked.  The first few times she tried anything, she'd gag.  But it got better.  This week she's tried: peanut butter, strawberries, chicken, turkey, pineapple, apple, sauced pasta, tomato, banana, refried beans, buttered bread, pear, chocolate cake, yogurt, cheese, edamame, carrots, peas, chicken nuggets, and probably some things I'm forgetting.  The peas and carrots were the only things she didn't like, she cleaned her plate every time.  We've been letting her watch YouTube only at meal time.  And as long as she is taking bites she can keep watching. Hopefully, we'll be able to wean the videos away in the future.  But she actually sat at the table and ate dinner with us tonight (with the videos), and I can't remember the last time that happened.  Also, she had been very adamant that he didn't want me to give her bangs.  But I really hated the hair being in her eyes all the time.  This morning, she finally let me cut her hair.  I did it really quick, but it actually turned out really well.

I've still been tired all the time, but I've been getting some things done.  I've mostly stayed on top of cleaning.  And I got a couple paint by numbers to do.  That's been really enjoyable.  I finished a flamingo one, and I'm working on a big Pokemon one (Eevee and Pikachu) for Bert.  I got a book on how to crochet from the library, so hopefully I'll be able to figure that out.  Last library visit, I grabbed four books, and I didn't like any of them.  It was disappointing.  Like, I wonder if my attention span isn't long enough for books anymore.  My yardwork is pretty much done.  I've been listening to a lot of podcasts.  Depression is still looming, but I've been staying ahead of it pretty well.  I took a break from social media.  I got tired of seeing stupid and upsetting opinions.  I don't know how to separate my emotions from stuff like that.  I started noom at the beginning of the year.  I've lost 8 lbs, but completely stalled.  I'm still trying, so hopefully my body will catch on a t some point.

Aaron and I did an adult thing and bought new couches.  The couches we had were Aaron's cousin's cast offs.  They were lumpy and sinky, and I got tired of it.  I started out looking at Ikea.  But we were looking for a sofa-loveseat set, and Ikea didn't really have anything like that.  I looked around online a little.  We'd looked at Living Spaces previously, but didn't find anything that spoke to us.  The other thing if we have very specific dimensions that the couches need to fit in our tiny living room.  I settled on Ashley Homestore, because they had a lot online.  Last week we went, and spend an hour trying and retrying couches.  We found a set we liked and the sofa has a bed in it, which is good to have.  We spent a little more than I wanted (around $2000), but we figured we'll have them a long time, and since we actually found something we like, that fits our room.  It was supposed to be 4-6 weeks for delivery, but both pieces were delivered today. 

The dawn

I think the Cymbalta is starting to work.  Just in the last 3 or 4 days, it feels like the darkness is lift.  When I have a moment to myself, I don't automatically feel sad.  Some joy is sneaking in.  I do have a couple annoying side effects.  Dry mouth, I'm thirsty all the time.  And sweating, which is worse.  I'll be out doing things, and just be dripping in sweat, for no reason.  

I took the kids (mostly just Bertram) bowling on Monday.  It wasn't super warm inside, and I wasn't working hard, but I was embarrassing sweaty.  Aside from that it was pretty fun.  I paid for 90 minutes.  It was $5.50 per game (per person) or $9.95 for 90 minutes (per person).  I figured the timed rate would be better, that way, if he wanted to keep bowling after two games we could.  (Last time we went bowling, which was at least 9 months ago, we did two games, and he wanted to keep playing).  He did pretty well, and we had fun.  Bronwyn sat patiently, for most of the time.  

For the last week, we've had a lot of rain.  We need it, but I don't really like it, it makes us a little cooped up.Yesterday, there was only a 20% chance of rain, and it was sunny.  So we all walked to the donut shop (about a mile away).  Except it started raining about halfway there.  The kids were in the stroller, so they stayed fairly dry.  Aaron and I were fairly wet.

Bronwyn has slept well a couple nights, like 8 or 9 hours straight.  Then last night, she didn't want to sleep at all.  She has mastered sitting.  And she has started army crawling.  She has been trying new foods.  I haven't been following the way your supposed to do it.  She's been getting table food, and various baby food.  She's liked most things.  Plain yogurt, waffles, eggs, bread, chicken.  She is not a huge fan of baby food peas, but likes cooked peas (like really soft, from a soup).  

Quick catch up

I'm done with my root canal for now.  I go back to get my crown next week.

Something I've been eating has been bothering Bronwyn's tummy.  About a week and a half ago, I started an elimination diet.  This means no: wheat, corn, soy, eggs, dairy, peanuts, or treenuts.  It is challenging to find packaged foods I can eat (and also not spend a fortune).  I've been doing rice krispies or chex for brekkie.  Oatmeal would be ok, but I haven't been in an oatmeal mood lately.  I've been drinking coconut or flax milk (the flax is better than the coconut).  I found some rye flour and rye crackers, sunflower butter, sesame crackers, rice cakes, most meats, rice and veg.  I've tried a few allergen free dessert recipes, with mixed success.  It is difficult to find food without soy and corn.  Corn syrup is in EVERYTHING.  Anyway, it's miserable, and sad.  And it seems to be upsetting my tummy some.  But she seems to be improving, slowing.

Bronwyn hasn't been sleeping well.  She doesn't sleep in her own bed, at all.  And this whole week, the earliest I've been able to get her to sleep is 2am (that was only one night, it was after 3 the other two).  So I'm exhausted and she's a grump.

That's all I can think of for now.  I'm a little brain dead.

When the cat's away...

Aaron's gone over night for... Scoutaree?  Camporee?  Camporama?  Some sort of overnight with the troops in is district come and do games and such.  So I've had all day to myself, I planned to do all sorts of things, but didn't do as much as I'd hoped.
I slept in til 10, which was nice.  I don't get to sleep in much.  I made some oatmeal and watched Project Runway.
Then I got the great idea to try a new recipe.  I saw a recipe online for a pizza crust made with cauliflower.  I knew if I didn't do a test run, Aaron would never try it.
Here's what  I did, I took pictures, because that's what's you do.

Start with a cauliflower and chop into florets.

Use the food processor to rice the florets

Here is the riced cauliflower

Cook cauliflower for 8 minutes

Next was the hard part, squeezing out the excess water.  This is hard because that water is f-ing hot!  I didn't get all the water which caused issues later.

The next step is to mix in 1/2 cup of mozzarella, an egg, a teaspoon of herbs.

Mix, mix, mix

Pat into a disc.  Here's the other part I messed up.  I made my disc regular pizza thickness, but it really needed to be very thin.

Next you par bake it for 15 minutes.

Add toppings.  I made a magharitta pizza.  The original recipe was for bbq chicken which might have been better.  As the bolder flavour would have covered up the cauliflower flavour a little.

All done!

It fell apart.  

The flavour was ok, I think if I made the adjustments I noted above it would be better.  The taste was a little weird, the crispier edges were very good.  I'll likely try it again.

I also did some laundry, washed and line dried the bed linens.  I went to the store.  I was looking for 3 things: cow milk, cereal and sprinkle cheese.  We have plenty of soy milk, but Aaron won't drink that.  I got a lot of other stuff, of course.  Took the doggies for a walk.  Took a nap.  Exercised, showered, ate dinner.  Aaron called me from the camp office.  That was nice and unexpected.  

My diet was been going well.  I've lost a couple pounds already, I think that's mostly due to cutting out sugar.  I did have diet soda yesterday, but none before or since.  Tomorrow will be more difficult.  It's french toast day, and we're going to two birthday things tomorrow.  I guess we'll see how it goes. 

Weighty Issue

I knew I was gaining weight.  My usual weight is 142.  Today I bit the bullet and weighed myself, after avoiding the scale for weeks.  157.  I can hardly believe it.  It's been 10 years since I weighed this much.  My highest was 163.

I think there are a few factors at work here.  The first was getting off of Adderall.  One of the main side effects of Adderall is weight loss.  The second factor is depression.  It's been pulling me down a lot lately.  To the point where I don't want to do anything.  After work I sit on the couch and watch a lot of tv, or play on my tablet.  The third factor is a combination of the first two: fatigue.  I'm so tired all the time.  I just want to sleep.  I think it's probably a vicious cycle.  I'm tired, and depressed so I don't exercise.  Not exercising makes me gain weight, which makes me more tired, depressed and fat.

My clothes are all tight, some flat out don't fit anymore.  My underwear and bras are tight.  My rings are snug.  Even my sweatpants are tighter.  My mother in law patted my belly last week because she thought (and hoped) I was pregnant.

Here's the plan:
This first week(starting tomorrow) is detox.  No sugars, no diet soda, and as few processed foods as possible.  I'll be eating a lot of fruits, vegetables, tofu, eggs, salad and oatmeal.  This is going to be hard, I'm super addicted to candy and diet coke.  That's why I think it's essential to cut them out for at least the first week.  I'll also be counting calories
I'm going to start moving a lot.  I ordered something from tv.  I've never done that before, but I got Hip Hop Abs.  Not because I want great abs (well, I do, but it's not a priority), but it actually looks like fun; something reminiscent of Zumba.  That will be 6 days a week.  I'm going to try to do some two-a-days too.  Probably jogging, hiking, stationary bike, and yoga.

My goal is to be at least 10 lbs lighter by the time I got see my family in a month.  My longer term goal is to be 20-30 lbs lighter by labour day.  I'll be weighing in every Wednesday, including tomorrow, just to get in the habit.  I'll maybe post a new picture in 2 or 3 weeks.

Misc

During my vacation, my sister and I watched Food Inc.  She'd never seen it, I saw it about 3 years ago.  I decided I want to do more, in terms of food.  I already buy organic free range eggs.  They cost $4.50 a dozen, so about 3 times as much as regular eggs.  I've started buying organic milk.  This one is harder, as we go through way more milk than eggs.  Regular milk is usually between 2.99 and 3.30; organic is 6 to 6.50. I have no clue if organic milk cows are treated better than regular. But I'd like to think so.

I don't buy any "land animal" meat.  I do buy fish occasionally.  But I do buy some tv dinners with meat for Aaron's lunches.  I could cut back, or just buy veggie meals, he wouldn't mind.

He plays with the idea of vegetarian-ism from time to time.  I would like to get back there, but I can't do it til my guts are more under control.

My vacation was good.  I wish I could see my mom and sister more.

This and that

Things have been pretty good lately.

On Friday at work, one of the patients gave the owner a huge compliment about the whole staff.  That was awesome.  After work, Aaron and I went to dinner with Jomanda, which was great, because we hadn't seen them in a long time.  (Well, them as a couple, I'd seen Amanda not too long before).

Saturday was our first day of doing food pick up for church.  Our church had a Food Kitchen with donated items from Whole Foods, Fresh and Easy, Zanottos, and maybe some other places.  Some of the items are "spoilage" (close to the sell by date), some are over-stock and brand new, and a few dented cans, or torn boxes.  One of the amazing old ladies started this a few years ago, and it's expanded enough that hey can give food to the three congregations that meet on Sundays and an additional opening on Thursday morning for the community (though, I suppose they could come Sundays as well).  Typical items include: all sorts of fancy bread (various bakery loafs, and expensive healthy breads), cold case items (picnic salads, pre-packed salads, soups, puddings, etc), fresh made items (pizzas, sandwiches), produce, baked goods (pies, krispy kremes, cookies, etc), dairy (milk, yogurt, cottage cheese) and non-perishables (canned goods, cereals, different flours and baking goods, soy milk, rice, etc).  It's a great program.  It's helped us out quite a bit.  A few different people go to different stores on different days.  Aaron was asked to go to Whole Foods on Saturdays at 5:15.  (It actually turns out 5:30 is better).  The store will bring out cart loads of things that would otherwise be tossed.  For example, we got milks, that have a sell-by of 6-5.  Also, the various delivery trucks will give you things too.  We had several bread trucks give us quite a bit of bread.  We filled up my car (and will be borrowing my dad's van from now on).  The perk of doing this (aside from being charitable) is that you get first pick of the food.  (We were told the verse from Deut. 25:4: Thou shalt not muzzle the ox when he treadeth out the corn).  So we got some, and some for Aaron's folks.  And since we'll be using my dad's van, I'll bring him a couple things too (he requested nice bread, kefir (though I'm not sure I've seen kefir), and cold case goods.  


Aaron can't do it every Saturday, but I can.  And I don't mind getting up early.  Plus my FiL volunteered to go when Aaron couldn't.  So I think it'll be pretty good.  The key is to not make the employees (or delivery guys) wait for you, and to always be nice, and say thank you.  (Since it's actually easier for them to throw it away).  So I'm pretty excited about this.  It helps the community, creates less waste, and stretches out food budget.


After getting up at 4:30 to do the Food Kitchen, we headed out to Big Basin to do a 12 mile hike.  It's my favourite hike, but it's hard to plan.Skyline to the Sea Trail to Waddell Beach 
One Way. 

What to see: Spectacular views! 
Location: The Whole Park, Mid Park areas, Pacific Ocean. 
Trailhead: Across the street from Park Headquarters, at the large Redwood Trail Marker, cross bridge at Opal Creek Comfort Station, turn left. 
Length: ~12.5 miles~20 kms 
Time: ~6 hours 
Elevation: ~+/-1000' 

As you can see from the map, you need a car parked at "A" and another car at the read star.  As you can also see, it's not a quick or easy drive to get from one to the other.  A guy my dad works with organizes it, and we get to tag along.  I'm wiped out today.  Super tired, stiff, sore.  We went to sleep before 10, (it's 8.30 now) and Aaron is still asleep.

In the bad news column, I think Yoie might have a UTI, so I'm going to call the vet when they open at 10.  She's peed in the house more than usual.  (Once right in front of me).  And last night she asked to go out, and peed 4 drops.  So not good signs.