Grandma's memorial was on Saturday.  It was a nice service.  I cried through the whole thing.  I'm still not used to the idea that she's gone.  I wonder if I ever will be.

On Wednesday I went to the rheumatologist for the first time.  She said what we basically knew which is that the crohns could be causing the arthritis or they could be independent of each other.  If they are related they should both flare at the same time.  I'm getting a colonoscopy in a couple of weeks, so that will shed some light on it.  But we still won't know if it will get better, worse or stay the same.  In the mean time, I have exercises to do, and some new medication.  Added to my large collection of medication is folic acid, Mobic, and methotrexate.  Mobic is an NSAID (like Advil).  The folic acid is to help combat the side effects of the methotrexate.  Methotrexate is like a scary medication, at least for me.  It's used to treat specific types on cancer and some auto immune diseases.  (Like Humira) it's an immunosuppressant, unlike Humira it has a lot of drug interactions, and isn't safe for pregnancy.  They were very specific: do not get pregnant on this medication. We're fairly sure we're done having kids, but if we decide to have another I have to be off the methotrexate for 3-4 months before we start trying.  Anyway, I took the first dose on Wednesday.  It didn't treat me well.  Since then, I haven't been feeling too badly, just really tired.  One of the good things about methotrexate is that it improves the effectiveness of Humira, and hopefully will help with my arthritis.  I'm doing the acupuncture once a week, I'm not sure that it's helping.  But it doesn't hurt, and it's a $10 copay.

This and That.

Bertram:
He had his first PT visit this morning.  The PT doesn't think he has any developmental delays.  But he has somewhat poor muscle tone (still within normal range).  So we have some things to work on with him, a lot of core exercises and helping him practice crawling on hands and knees.
He's been a bit fussy lately.  (Last night was terrible!  He woke up a lot).  He got his 5th tooth not long ago, so there may be more.  Also, Aaron and I have colds, so I assume Bertie isn't feeling great either.  But he's still eating well.  He had almost a whole banana (and some rice cake) for dinner.  He's tried pumpkin and prunes recently. He likes both.  Also, he had some teriyaki salmon when we were to dinner with Trish.  He liked it!  He didn't like salmon before, but maybe the sauce helped.
He's been waving a lot, it's really cute.
I talked to Janet about planning Bertie's birthday party.  Aaron and I (well, mainly me, because Aaron doesn't care about parties very much) were originally thinking about pizza and cake.  But Janet and I thought it might be fun to do something different,  We talked about having bagels and King Eggroll.  A very strange combination, but I think it could work.  But the party is just family, so it won't be too big.
Aaron:
Aaron is at a scout conference in San Luis Obispo now.  They have it every year.  It seems like it's been busy, but boring.  He'll be back sometime tomorrow.  He's been stressed with work.  Between end of year stuff, conference stuff, and the usual stuff, there is a lot going on.  There is a little more, but I'll go into it next time.
Me:
Depression has been mostly in check.  My group got cancelled this week: all of Kaiser mental help is on strike.  On Friday, I went to get my Humira, only to find the price changed from $15 to $481!  My drug plan changed a little bit, Humira used to be a "brand name" drug, and now is called a "specialty drug".  Yeesh.  I talked to my GI and he called in a cheaped (but all together less effective) medication.  I called my dad to see if he had any leftover Humira, and told him I was going to use the other drug until my new plan started.  He said he'd pay for it for me, because he's had a lot of issues with switching around medications.  It was important to him for me to stay on.  But I still felt like an asshole, taking the money.
I made a loaf of bread!  I've never made bread before (well, some challah that didn't work out).  It was pretty good too.  A little round rustic loaf.  I think I'll do it again, and maybe re-try challah.
I;d mostly sticking with exercise.  But I decided I needed to drop the Buzzfeed workout for now.  It was too much to try to do both.  I'd rather give my all to one, than do badly at both.  I missed today's though.  My tummy has been weird (non-crohns related).  I'll catch up either tomorrow or Thursday.
Work has been busy, I've been putting in extra hours again.  Our new office is really nice, though, I kind of miss being by myself.
Other:
Zelda hurt her leg last week.  She tripped over Fiona and messed up her carpels.  She's in a boot-splint.  She's hobbling around.
Both cats are outside cats now.  They can go in the garage, but that's it.

This week

• Aaron was gone to Camp High Sierra (a boy scout camp) for the week, so I was on my own.  Sometimes I enjoy the quiet, but I miss him.
• I managed to take the dogs hiking twice this week, because it wasn't too hot.  One day we did the short loop at Quicksilver.  The other day we hiking part of Sierra Azul with my dad.  Zelda was dragging along.  I'm not sure if she wasn't feeling well, or if she's just getting old.
• Janet and Dennis got the tree in front of our house cut way back.  It looks great.  And I'm no longer worried about its limbs breaking off into the street.  The pile for street pick up was huge!

• I took my Humira yesterday.  It always smashes me after I take it.  And I made a mistake: you're not supposed to take it if you're sick.  If you feel ill, you're supposed to take your temperature before taking it, which I didn't.  Usually after I take it, it kicks my butt for a couple days.  No exceptions this time around.  Also, it knocks the immune system down a little, so I usually stay home; avoid the germ playground that is church.
• I want to revamp my wardrobe.  I hate most of my clothes.  I went to the outlets in Gilroy yesterday.  It was largely a bust.  I found one shirt I liked.  I really hate the clothes for this season.  A weird combination of neon 80's and fringe/hippie/gypsy.  Bleh.  I want basic, but cute, with maybe a vintage flare.  My follow up was to shop more today, but I'm sequestering myself to avoid germs.
• I made a couple things off of Pinterest this week.  Homemade Frosty Paws (dog frozen yogurt treats), and marinated baked tofu.  Both turned out great.  Yay me!
• I miss my sister and my mom.
• I dragged myself to Safeway this morning.  I'm trying to make the house inviting for Aaron's return.  (If I were returning from a week at boy scout camp, I'd want a big choice of food, a clean house, and a nice bed).  We now have a well-stocked fridge.  I don't like going to Safeway, it's expensive and crowded.  But I didn't want to drive far, and Safeway never closes.  I went at 8.30, thinking I'd beat the crowds; I didn't.  And I forgot how expensive it is.  Trader Joes and Sunflower are specialty, but they're way cheaper!  But I did get things that Aaron will like: lunch meat, Mexican coke, diet soda, frozen pizza, bread, apples, baby carrots etc.  Oh and cereal!  I was actually able to buy cereal by his specifications (which is don't pay more than $2 a box).  There was a sale on Kelloggs for $2 a box.  And I bought myself two lobster tails on a whim, they were also on sale.  But they didn't have lima beans.  I've been wanting them lately.

The birthday that wasn't.

I think I'm going to have to do a birthday do-over.

First off, I was/am in the middle of a flare up.  So my guts hurt, I didn't want to eat (because when you eat, they hurt more).


Maybe I should start off with the happier stuff.  I got a lot of nice gifts.  Aaron gave me a Kindle Fire.  My mom got me a Citizen Eco watch.  So that was all nice.  And I took the day off work, and set up a hair appointment.

Before:

After:

Lighter, a little shorter and bangs.  Yay.

After that Aaron and I had planned to go out to lunch.  But I felt too crappy.  So I got a Jamba Juice, and he got real food.

Then we were off to Kaiser.  I started on Humira.  So I needed to pick it up and then go to the injection clinic to learn how to use it.  I was concerned about the price, because Humira is very expensive.  But... my 8 40-mg syringes came to $35.  I looked at the receipt to see how much I saved with my insurance.  The list price was $3500!  Holy crap.  I am so glad I have insurance (and good insurance at that).

Then we walked upstairs to the injection clinic.  The nurse was telling me about what to do, how to prep, etc.  I made Aaron come, so he'd know how to do it, in case I wanted him to.  

This is how it goes:
2 shots yesterday
2 shots today
2 shots in two weeks
1 shot every two weeks following

I have to do the shots subcutaneously, so in the tummy or upper thigh.  I chose tummy.  It hurt.  And then after the second one, I had a vasovagal response.  I could hear the rushing in my ears, I starting sweating, and I thought I was going to barf.  The nurse ran off to find a blood pressure cuff.  I told Aaron to find me a trash can.  "What?"  I said "I think I'm going to throw up.  Trash can!  Trash can!  TRASH CAN!"  I did dry heave twice, but no barf.  Then I had to lay down for a while.  And drink grape juice.

Aaron had to go back to work for a meeting, and didn't come home til after 9.30.  :-/  I rested at home for a bit.  Then went to the mall for a while.  Depression started creeping in.  I went home and had a bit of a break down.

So all in all not great.  I think July 6th or 7th I'll have a birthday do-over.  The cake and going out to dinner and some fun activity, and actually seeing my husband.  

Bleh

I turn 29 in 2 days.  O_o  Not sure how I feel about this.  There is certainly more I wanted to accomplish by 29: have a college degree, have (procure) a baby, be able to travel...  But there are a lot of other things: we live in a nice house, we have doggies (and catties) (all rescues), I haven't eaten a land animal in over three years, and I haven't had sugar in 10+ days!

I'm starting Humira on Wednesday.  Not sure how I feel about that either.  Self-injectables don't sound great.  Plus I'm not sure how much it's going to cost.  And I still have to continue my other drug regiment.  I think that's the worst part.  I was hoping it would replace some of them.  And it will, in 3-4 months, but for now, lots and lots of drugs.  I just want to be well again.  I want to stop having flare-ups.  I want to not have to worry about running to the bathroom and not making it.  And maybe not be exhausted all the time.