I am three days post-partum and everything hurts.
I expected different. All the accounts I'd heard of unmedicated birth made it sound super awesome. You feel great afterwards, you really get to bond with your baby, It's so much less painful than a c-section, etc. I don't feel that way. Maybe I'm a bigger wimp (than most people) when it comes to pain, but I did not feel great afterwards. Everything hurt so much. I needed stitches, that was painful, plus there was a lot of pressure (I'm not sure from what) which was also painful. Bronwyn had to be checked for meconium, so I didn't get the super long bonding time. And, really, I just felt so gross after, I was dripping with sweat, there was a lot of blood, amniotic fluid and whatever else (poop? no clue, but I wouldn't be surprised). I would have loved to hop up and shower, but I couldn't do that right away either.
I guess I'm not cut out to be a natural birth person.
Now, three days later, I don't feel like any of the pain has improved. Everything downstairs still hurts, and I'm a little concerned that I've torn a stitch. I was really concerned about having to poop, since everything is so painful. But that finally happened today, and wasn't too bad. But walking, moving, scooting in a seat, getting in and out of bed, it all hurts. A little like I'm falling apart. To top it off, breastfeeding isn't going as well as last time. We went to the newborn clinic today, and she's lost more weight, she's at 9%, since birth. They weighed her before and after nursing, and she didn't get much. My milk isn't really in yet, isn't still more colostrum-y, so there isn't a lot. (I've pumped a couple times, and gotten less than an ounce both times (when pumped from both sides)), We're going back to clinic tomorrow to try again. But we may need to supplement with formula til my milk comes in more. I'm not too concerned about this. Lord knows, my nipples would welcome the break. But I'm concerned that my supply might always be low. So I don't know. I do know I feel terrible now, because I dread when she wakes up, because she needs to eat, and it hurts so much. They looked at her latch, and said it was fine, so I assume it's because my nipples haven't toughened yet. But to not be able to feed your kid adequately and be in terrible pain at the same time is a double whammy.
And I know this too shall pass. And in a week or so, everything will likely be much improved. But this is where I am, today.
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
She is here!
At 39 weeks and 2 days Bronwyn Alice came charging into the world.
The whole pregnancy, I had assumed she would be early. Bertram was nearly a month early. I heard that second babies often come earlier than the first. So I waited and waited. I had some random contractions/ Braxton-Hicks for the last three weeks. I kept watching to the mucus plug, a bloody show, anything that would tell me the time was near, but nothing happened.
So, since she wasn't going to be early, I started counting down til my mom arrived. I really wanted her to be there, especially since Aaron really isn't comfortable around blood, and my mom worked as a nurse for 35+ years. So last night around 9, my mom arrived.
I woke up around 2 or 2:30 this morning, from a contraction. Not a very strong, or painful one, So I laid around for a while, and had a few more. Aaron woke up and suggested I time them, which didn't occur to me, for some reason. I think because they seemed irregular. After an hour of timing, they were 4 minutes apart, lasting a minute each. (In the birthing class, the teacher said for second babies follow 7-1-1 (7 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for at least an hour)). I called L&D, they asked how I was feeling. I said the contractions weren't too bad. The said to drink 2 big glasses of water and take an hour-long shower, then lay down. I drank, and lasted 40 minutes in the shower, and then laid down. It was probably almost 6 at this point, and the contractions were getting worse. Aaron said, we'll we probably need to get ready to go. Mom asked if she had time to shower. I said sure, it seemed like there was a lot of time still. Aaron's folks came over to stay with Bertie at 6:45, and we took off for Kaiser.
The contractions were getting worse. We got to Kaiser a little before 7. Aaron dropped off my mom and me and went to park. We walked in, and then I was on the floor on all fours in front of the elevator. An orderly asked if I needed a wheelchair, I said no. Then he asked again, and I said "well, I won't be a hero." I got wheeled up for floor 5, crying and grunting the whole way.
We got to the desk, and the nurse said "what can we do for you today?" I said "I'm having a baby."
I got a room, got changed, was feeling "pushy". The midwife came in, and checked me. I was expecting to be a 5 or 6. Then she said the words that filled me with dread: "Alright, you're dialated to 9cm! So you can start pushing when you're ready." I said "but can I still have an epidural?" (I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway). She said it was too late, that if she broke my water, baby would come quickly. I was in a lot of pain. So I asked for NO2, as it was supposed to help. (Spoiler alert: it didn't). I used it some, but gave up quickly, because I couldn't feel a difference. I also was worried about GBS, since i was positive, I knew I needed the antibiotics. They hooked it up, but I didn't get much before everything was over with.
I was writhing around on the bed, crying, groaning, and making all sorts of embarrassing sounds. Then my water broke. But not just broke, like exploded across the room, all over the midwife, and the other nurse. I was also so sweaty. The iv tape wouldn't stick to my skin.
I was still screaming, crying and groaning (and probably other sounds). The nurses and Dr (who came in after I drenched the midwife), took the bed apart, and had me curl up to push. To be honest, it was terrible, and I wouldn't recommend it. Epidurals are so nice. And I will be the first to admit I am no badass. It felt like I was pushing for a long time. It was probably 10-15 minutes total, maybe less. At one point the Dr said the head was halfway out, and I think I said "pull her out!", which of course, didn't happen. My legs wouldn't stop trembling, which meant, I couldn't curl up to push very well. I know I said at least once that I couldn't do it (which is something I swore I'd never say while giving birth). Her head came out, so I assumed the pain was done (since that's presumably the hardest part). But the rest hurt too. Also, I had my eyes close almost the whole time, not sure why).
At 7:35am Bronwyn was here. 6lbs12oz, 18 inches long. Fairly small, but almost 1.5 lbs more than Bertie. She was waxy, and not crying too much, and didn't have a cone-head.
The placenta hurt some too. I had a 2nd degree tear, and I may have gotten cut before hand, I'm not sure. The stitching hurt, I got a lot of lidocane, and an injection of Fentanyl. But it hurt. And baby was over having her weight, and getting checked out (there was some slight mecronium staining.
Then I got her back, and she immediately started rooting, and latched quickly and well.
My dad, Aaron's folks and Bertram came to met her.
Bronwyn ordered a MatchBox car garage for Bertie. He was really thrilled. And he was excited to hold her.
She had and passed her hearing test.
All in all, a pretty good day. She's nursed a bunch, has pooped 3 times and peed twice. And, unless something odd comes up, we'll be going home tomorrow.
I'm still in a decent amount of pain, but it's not bad, considering that all I've had is Tylenol and Motrin.
The whole pregnancy, I had assumed she would be early. Bertram was nearly a month early. I heard that second babies often come earlier than the first. So I waited and waited. I had some random contractions/ Braxton-Hicks for the last three weeks. I kept watching to the mucus plug, a bloody show, anything that would tell me the time was near, but nothing happened.
So, since she wasn't going to be early, I started counting down til my mom arrived. I really wanted her to be there, especially since Aaron really isn't comfortable around blood, and my mom worked as a nurse for 35+ years. So last night around 9, my mom arrived.
I woke up around 2 or 2:30 this morning, from a contraction. Not a very strong, or painful one, So I laid around for a while, and had a few more. Aaron woke up and suggested I time them, which didn't occur to me, for some reason. I think because they seemed irregular. After an hour of timing, they were 4 minutes apart, lasting a minute each. (In the birthing class, the teacher said for second babies follow 7-1-1 (7 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for at least an hour)). I called L&D, they asked how I was feeling. I said the contractions weren't too bad. The said to drink 2 big glasses of water and take an hour-long shower, then lay down. I drank, and lasted 40 minutes in the shower, and then laid down. It was probably almost 6 at this point, and the contractions were getting worse. Aaron said, we'll we probably need to get ready to go. Mom asked if she had time to shower. I said sure, it seemed like there was a lot of time still. Aaron's folks came over to stay with Bertie at 6:45, and we took off for Kaiser.
The contractions were getting worse. We got to Kaiser a little before 7. Aaron dropped off my mom and me and went to park. We walked in, and then I was on the floor on all fours in front of the elevator. An orderly asked if I needed a wheelchair, I said no. Then he asked again, and I said "well, I won't be a hero." I got wheeled up for floor 5, crying and grunting the whole way.
We got to the desk, and the nurse said "what can we do for you today?" I said "I'm having a baby."
I got a room, got changed, was feeling "pushy". The midwife came in, and checked me. I was expecting to be a 5 or 6. Then she said the words that filled me with dread: "Alright, you're dialated to 9cm! So you can start pushing when you're ready." I said "but can I still have an epidural?" (I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway). She said it was too late, that if she broke my water, baby would come quickly. I was in a lot of pain. So I asked for NO2, as it was supposed to help. (Spoiler alert: it didn't). I used it some, but gave up quickly, because I couldn't feel a difference. I also was worried about GBS, since i was positive, I knew I needed the antibiotics. They hooked it up, but I didn't get much before everything was over with.
I was writhing around on the bed, crying, groaning, and making all sorts of embarrassing sounds. Then my water broke. But not just broke, like exploded across the room, all over the midwife, and the other nurse. I was also so sweaty. The iv tape wouldn't stick to my skin.
I was still screaming, crying and groaning (and probably other sounds). The nurses and Dr (who came in after I drenched the midwife), took the bed apart, and had me curl up to push. To be honest, it was terrible, and I wouldn't recommend it. Epidurals are so nice. And I will be the first to admit I am no badass. It felt like I was pushing for a long time. It was probably 10-15 minutes total, maybe less. At one point the Dr said the head was halfway out, and I think I said "pull her out!", which of course, didn't happen. My legs wouldn't stop trembling, which meant, I couldn't curl up to push very well. I know I said at least once that I couldn't do it (which is something I swore I'd never say while giving birth). Her head came out, so I assumed the pain was done (since that's presumably the hardest part). But the rest hurt too. Also, I had my eyes close almost the whole time, not sure why).
At 7:35am Bronwyn was here. 6lbs12oz, 18 inches long. Fairly small, but almost 1.5 lbs more than Bertie. She was waxy, and not crying too much, and didn't have a cone-head.
The placenta hurt some too. I had a 2nd degree tear, and I may have gotten cut before hand, I'm not sure. The stitching hurt, I got a lot of lidocane, and an injection of Fentanyl. But it hurt. And baby was over having her weight, and getting checked out (there was some slight mecronium staining.
Then I got her back, and she immediately started rooting, and latched quickly and well.
Bronwyn ordered a MatchBox car garage for Bertie. He was really thrilled. And he was excited to hold her.
She had and passed her hearing test.
All in all, a pretty good day. She's nursed a bunch, has pooped 3 times and peed twice. And, unless something odd comes up, we'll be going home tomorrow.
I'm still in a decent amount of pain, but it's not bad, considering that all I've had is Tylenol and Motrin.
Friday, March 4, 2016
Catching up
We had Bertie's second birthday. Just a small affair with family, pizza and cake. Bertie had a good time, and got some nice gifts.
My mom was here for 2 blissful weeks. I love having her here, and Bertie does too. We always have fun together. We went to the aquarium on day with my dad. Bertie loved it! It's fun to see my parents together again too. Like we get to play the happy family, which we actual are now. Funny, how divorce can make things better for everyone. And, unlike make divorced couples, they can actual hang out, and be friends.
(Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm the stay at home parent. Some days Bertie and I have so much fun. I know I'd be jealous if the situation was reversed).
I ordered my bridesmaid dress today. Well, skirt. I'm pretty excited, because I'll actually be able to wear it again. But it's going to take til mid April to get here. :-/
But, I've been eating like crap lately. Lots of sugar, lots of diet coke. And I've been more flexitarian than vegetarian.
My friend Brianon had her baby yesterday. She had a lot similarities to Bertie's birth. Emergency c-section, babies in NICU. I wish I could be there to help out and meet baby Henry.
We finally got some rain today. It's supposed to continue for a while.
My mom was here for 2 blissful weeks. I love having her here, and Bertie does too. We always have fun together. We went to the aquarium on day with my dad. Bertie loved it! It's fun to see my parents together again too. Like we get to play the happy family, which we actual are now. Funny, how divorce can make things better for everyone. And, unlike make divorced couples, they can actual hang out, and be friends.
(Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm the stay at home parent. Some days Bertie and I have so much fun. I know I'd be jealous if the situation was reversed).
I ordered my bridesmaid dress today. Well, skirt. I'm pretty excited, because I'll actually be able to wear it again. But it's going to take til mid April to get here. :-/
I've been keeping up with my exercise. I've only missed one day so far this year. I want to concentrate more on running. But I've been really tired lately, which makes 6am running hard. I tried a beginning plyometrics workout today.
But, I've been eating like crap lately. Lots of sugar, lots of diet coke. And I've been more flexitarian than vegetarian.
My friend Brianon had her baby yesterday. She had a lot similarities to Bertie's birth. Emergency c-section, babies in NICU. I wish I could be there to help out and meet baby Henry.
We finally got some rain today. It's supposed to continue for a while.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
A lot about my boobs, body and a few other things.
Today was a rough day. Last night I didn't sleep enough, which is life now. I have to wake up every three hours to pump or do manual expression. Until recently, manual expression worked better, but it's really time consuming, and difficult.
Anyway...
Today we got got up, and left the house at 6:45, to get to the hospital at 7 for Bertie's feeding. (Aaron has to drive me around until I don't need to Norco anymore, or I'm ok'd by my Dr to drive again). He did really well with latching today. The feedings are starting to run together. At one feeding, my chest was wet, and I told Aaron, "oh, I think he needs a new diaper. He's peeing on me." Aaron said, "No, that's you, your leaking." Cool beans, I actually have enough milk to leak now. It was funny, because at the next feeding it happened again, but before I even got my shirt off, like just being near Bertram makes my milk go.
Bertie was originally not released because he had several drops in her heart rate. Nothing actually happened as a result of those drops (there were 3 or 4, over an hour period), his colour didn't change, pulse ox was fine, etc. This morning I talked to the pediatrician (who looked super young, like 24 or 25). There is standard procedure to keep a patient for 5 days following this kind of incident, which I only found out about today. She consulted with the neonatologist, as he'd been healthy since the incident. But it turns out he'll have to stay til Thursday. Unless something else happens, then he'll stay longer. I started crying, hormones, and I just want my baby home with us. I miss him when we have to leave. (Just to be clear, I love the NICU nurses, they are great, and take fantastic care of him).
After the 1pm feeding we came home for an hour or so, before going back. My dad came at the 7pm feeding. He got to hold him for the first time. He was the first grandparent to hold him.
Anyway...
Today we got got up, and left the house at 6:45, to get to the hospital at 7 for Bertie's feeding. (Aaron has to drive me around until I don't need to Norco anymore, or I'm ok'd by my Dr to drive again). He did really well with latching today. The feedings are starting to run together. At one feeding, my chest was wet, and I told Aaron, "oh, I think he needs a new diaper. He's peeing on me." Aaron said, "No, that's you, your leaking." Cool beans, I actually have enough milk to leak now. It was funny, because at the next feeding it happened again, but before I even got my shirt off, like just being near Bertram makes my milk go.
Bertie was originally not released because he had several drops in her heart rate. Nothing actually happened as a result of those drops (there were 3 or 4, over an hour period), his colour didn't change, pulse ox was fine, etc. This morning I talked to the pediatrician (who looked super young, like 24 or 25). There is standard procedure to keep a patient for 5 days following this kind of incident, which I only found out about today. She consulted with the neonatologist, as he'd been healthy since the incident. But it turns out he'll have to stay til Thursday. Unless something else happens, then he'll stay longer. I started crying, hormones, and I just want my baby home with us. I miss him when we have to leave. (Just to be clear, I love the NICU nurses, they are great, and take fantastic care of him).
After the 1pm feeding we came home for an hour or so, before going back. My dad came at the 7pm feeding. He got to hold him for the first time. He was the first grandparent to hold him.
I think this is a great picture.
Bertram and Grand-dad.
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My boobs run the show now. I have to follow their schedule, they have to feed the baby. They hurt, they leak and they feel hard. This evening, I pumped and got 2 oz! That's never happened before, so I think my milk is coming in. (I have a pump that is on loan from Kaiser). Holding the pump is annoying, so on suggestion from Sophie, I got an old tank top, and cut nipple holes. Now I can pump hands free!
My incision is weird. It feels numb and itchy at the same time. It still hurts when I try to get up from sitting or laying down.
I am so puffy! My feet and ankles are the worst. But I have fluid in my hips and hands too. My feet don't fit in a lot of my shoes. I'm nervous to try to wear anything but sweats.
=====================================================
When I got home, I went into a bit of a tizzy. Aaron was tired, and went to sleep. I was grouchy, and the house was gross. Instead of resting, and putting up my puffy feet, I cleaned. And at the time I was resentful about cleaning, but now it's fine. My hormones are so crazy right now.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
A few days in
I'm feeling surprisingly well. Very tired, but well.
Bertie hasn't been able to be in our room, and I'm going home today. Hopefully he'll be coming home with us, but we don't know yet. Tomorrow is likely, if not today. Because he was a preemie, and had some issues with pulse ox, and heart rate, and now jaundice, he may need an extra day or so. I'm sad to think of having to leave him behind. But we're only about 15 minutes away, so it won't be far.
My dad has been here to visit everyday. Aaron's folks came Thursday, and Saturday. Sophie came to visit on Saturday, and Nana Ginny came on Friday. So we've had lots of visitors. My mom sent flowers.
I'm still not getting a lot of sleep, obviously. My milk hasn't come in yet, just colostrum. We've been supplementing with formula, but not using a bottle. The formula is put into a syringe (20-30 mLs at a time), then a tiny tube is used to get it to his mouth, and we do that while he's sucking on our fingers. He's getting better at latching, and sucking. But since he's not getting the reward of food, he gets bored with it. We're working on it.
Yesterday we had a scare. His heart rate randomly dropped to 60-something. It did this 3 or 4 times. So they started running labs and tests. The doctor came and told us he might have an infection, and would have to do a lumbar puncture. (Actually Aaron had run home to care for the dogs, so I have to call him with most of this). When he arrived, we called Scott Crow (from church, and an orthopedic surgeon with Kaiser) to come help give Bertie a blessing. While Scott was here, my dad arrived, and then Janet and Sophie. So we ended up telling every one what we knew. But things improved, his EKG was good, chest x-ray was good, blood work started to come back good. So it looks like he may just have a lower resting heart rate. That was a relief.
This morning, he's a little jaundice, so we're still waiting and hoping for him to come home with us. I'm out around noon.
Here are lots of pictures!
Bertie hasn't been able to be in our room, and I'm going home today. Hopefully he'll be coming home with us, but we don't know yet. Tomorrow is likely, if not today. Because he was a preemie, and had some issues with pulse ox, and heart rate, and now jaundice, he may need an extra day or so. I'm sad to think of having to leave him behind. But we're only about 15 minutes away, so it won't be far.
My dad has been here to visit everyday. Aaron's folks came Thursday, and Saturday. Sophie came to visit on Saturday, and Nana Ginny came on Friday. So we've had lots of visitors. My mom sent flowers.
I'm still not getting a lot of sleep, obviously. My milk hasn't come in yet, just colostrum. We've been supplementing with formula, but not using a bottle. The formula is put into a syringe (20-30 mLs at a time), then a tiny tube is used to get it to his mouth, and we do that while he's sucking on our fingers. He's getting better at latching, and sucking. But since he's not getting the reward of food, he gets bored with it. We're working on it.
Yesterday we had a scare. His heart rate randomly dropped to 60-something. It did this 3 or 4 times. So they started running labs and tests. The doctor came and told us he might have an infection, and would have to do a lumbar puncture. (Actually Aaron had run home to care for the dogs, so I have to call him with most of this). When he arrived, we called Scott Crow (from church, and an orthopedic surgeon with Kaiser) to come help give Bertie a blessing. While Scott was here, my dad arrived, and then Janet and Sophie. So we ended up telling every one what we knew. But things improved, his EKG was good, chest x-ray was good, blood work started to come back good. So it looks like he may just have a lower resting heart rate. That was a relief.
This morning, he's a little jaundice, so we're still waiting and hoping for him to come home with us. I'm out around noon.
Here are lots of pictures!
Friday, February 28, 2014
Bertram has arrived.
When I last left off, I'd been contracting since 9 pm on February 26th. It continued through the whole night, with no breaks. (We're supposed to be across the street right now, taking our birthing class, lol). I took a couple hot showers, and called L&D twice. Mostly, I moved around on the couch, trying to get comfortable. I dozed for an hour between 4-5am, but still woke up for each contraction. Between 5-6 then got really strong, I was moaning and crying. Aaron got up around 5:30, and we got ready to go. He showered, I got a couple last minute stuff packed, we both had a little breakfast.
From the amount of time I'd been contracting, and the strength of the contractions, I was hoping I'd been at 7cm. When I got checked, I was only at 4cm. With that I knew, natural was not going to happen. They started me on narco (norco?), because the anesthesiologist couldn't get in right away. The narco helped a bit. I was nervous about getting an epidural, and having a catheter. But it was surprisingly not bad. The numbing shot was the worse part, and the sitting still. Once that kicked in, everything was fantastic. I couldn't feel any contractions, and dozed a little. That was around 8am, I didn't have to do anything until 2, since I was still dilating. Sometime during this period, they started me on an oxygen mask, to make sure Bertie was getting enough.
Dennis (Aaron's dad) came by briefly to say hi and see how things were going.
Starting at 2, I pushed for about 30 minutes, and then rested some. Aaron was really great during all this. He was worried about being squeamish. He doesn't do great with blood, or seeing me in pain. He mostly stayed near my head, but had to help pull my legs or support my neck at some points. So I know he looked a little bit. He insisted he didn't want to cut the cord, but more on that later. But he was great, got me ice chips, encouraged me to breath (which, as the time, was annoying), and kept count during the pushing.
At 3ish, we started pushing again. This was when the epidural started wearing off. And things started hurting. The oxygen mask was really bothering me, I was too hot, I felt nauseous every time I had to push. Baby was not making the type of progress they wanted, and he was in distress off and on. Also, he was turned sideways, his ear was facing up.
Around 4, floor doctor came in, and said this will be our last shot, we're going to use the vacuum assisted device while you push, and if that doesn't work, we need to do an immediate c-section. At that point, I was ready to say skip the vacuum, lets go to the OR. I was so tired, and in pain. Plus I was starting to lose it. We did that, there was no success. So then everyone was rushing around. They told Aaron they'd bring him back after everything was set up. I think I was sobbing at that point (I'm crying now as I type this, too many emotions). They whisked me down the hall, and resumed the epidural meds. Either because they'd just started or because I was freaking out, they weren't working as fast as the doctors wanted, so they opted to sedate me. In all honesty, it's just as well that they did. Once I go into panic mode, I'm useless.
I don't remember much of that. They had me take some deep breaths of something, and I went to sleep.
I woke up in a different part of the same room. A nurse was talking to me about nothing in particular. Aaron was either there, or came in shortly after. He showed me some pictures of Bertram, and told me about him. I found out that his cord was around his neck, not tightly, but enough to distress him, and keep him from coming out vaginally. He is a tiny guy, 5lb7oz, 18 inches long. So skinny. He was put in the intermediate care nursery, since his lungs weren't quite ready.
Usually they can only take wheelchairs in the nursery, but the nurses made an exception for me and wheeled the gurney in. I was able to do skin to skin for 30 minutes, and he latched for 5 or 10 minutes. That was awesome. Just great. I miss him, and want to snuggle him more.
I got settled in my postpartum room. Aaron folks and my dad come by to meet the baby. He's the first grandchild for everyone. They were all here from about 9-10. Then we went to sleep. Aaron slept, I slept intermittently an hour or two at a time. I got up and walked briefly last night, I was really dizzy. I've also started using the breast pump. Nothing is coming out yet, but it's good for stimulation. I'm still on a catheter, but that will be coming out soon.
I'm not sure why he, or my body decided to come so early.
From the amount of time I'd been contracting, and the strength of the contractions, I was hoping I'd been at 7cm. When I got checked, I was only at 4cm. With that I knew, natural was not going to happen. They started me on narco (norco?), because the anesthesiologist couldn't get in right away. The narco helped a bit. I was nervous about getting an epidural, and having a catheter. But it was surprisingly not bad. The numbing shot was the worse part, and the sitting still. Once that kicked in, everything was fantastic. I couldn't feel any contractions, and dozed a little. That was around 8am, I didn't have to do anything until 2, since I was still dilating. Sometime during this period, they started me on an oxygen mask, to make sure Bertie was getting enough.
Dennis (Aaron's dad) came by briefly to say hi and see how things were going.
Starting at 2, I pushed for about 30 minutes, and then rested some. Aaron was really great during all this. He was worried about being squeamish. He doesn't do great with blood, or seeing me in pain. He mostly stayed near my head, but had to help pull my legs or support my neck at some points. So I know he looked a little bit. He insisted he didn't want to cut the cord, but more on that later. But he was great, got me ice chips, encouraged me to breath (which, as the time, was annoying), and kept count during the pushing.
At 3ish, we started pushing again. This was when the epidural started wearing off. And things started hurting. The oxygen mask was really bothering me, I was too hot, I felt nauseous every time I had to push. Baby was not making the type of progress they wanted, and he was in distress off and on. Also, he was turned sideways, his ear was facing up.
Around 4, floor doctor came in, and said this will be our last shot, we're going to use the vacuum assisted device while you push, and if that doesn't work, we need to do an immediate c-section. At that point, I was ready to say skip the vacuum, lets go to the OR. I was so tired, and in pain. Plus I was starting to lose it. We did that, there was no success. So then everyone was rushing around. They told Aaron they'd bring him back after everything was set up. I think I was sobbing at that point (I'm crying now as I type this, too many emotions). They whisked me down the hall, and resumed the epidural meds. Either because they'd just started or because I was freaking out, they weren't working as fast as the doctors wanted, so they opted to sedate me. In all honesty, it's just as well that they did. Once I go into panic mode, I'm useless.
I don't remember much of that. They had me take some deep breaths of something, and I went to sleep.
I woke up in a different part of the same room. A nurse was talking to me about nothing in particular. Aaron was either there, or came in shortly after. He showed me some pictures of Bertram, and told me about him. I found out that his cord was around his neck, not tightly, but enough to distress him, and keep him from coming out vaginally. He is a tiny guy, 5lb7oz, 18 inches long. So skinny. He was put in the intermediate care nursery, since his lungs weren't quite ready.
Usually they can only take wheelchairs in the nursery, but the nurses made an exception for me and wheeled the gurney in. I was able to do skin to skin for 30 minutes, and he latched for 5 or 10 minutes. That was awesome. Just great. I miss him, and want to snuggle him more.
I got settled in my postpartum room. Aaron folks and my dad come by to meet the baby. He's the first grandchild for everyone. They were all here from about 9-10. Then we went to sleep. Aaron slept, I slept intermittently an hour or two at a time. I got up and walked briefly last night, I was really dizzy. I've also started using the breast pump. Nothing is coming out yet, but it's good for stimulation. I'm still on a catheter, but that will be coming out soon.
I'm not sure why he, or my body decided to come so early.
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