Some Musings

I feel like I've lost my faith.  Well, I suppose that's  incorrect.  I think my faith lost me.  I had been having trouble with my testimony/church membership for a long time.  It was weird too, because the more I tried to do the right things (and "fake it til you make it") the further I felt. God stopped talking to me, so for a while, I stopped talking to God.  But not to long ago, I tried again, and I asked what should I do, what should I be doing?  The answer was do what brings you joy.  I haven't really found what brings me joy yet.  And my faith has become a somewhat contentious subject in our house.  I really wish I could make myself believe.  It would make things easier, and it would be nice to just believe.  But I've tried, and as of now, I can't.  Maybe that will change, I'm certainly open to it.  But at the moment this is all I've got (spiritually speaking): I'm pretty sure there it something out there.  I don't know how hands on this something is, but I think there is something greater than myself.

It's starting to get cold again.  Not like the rest of the country, where it actually gets cold.  Just cold for here, which is more than enough for me. We're had to turn on our heater, which is nice, but parts of our house are poorly insulated (particularly the master bedroom).  Even when the heat is on, it can still be chilly.

Bertram had his first haircut a few days ago.  I took him to Kinder Cuts, and he got to sit in a truck while having his hair cut.  He did really well, and the stylist did well too. I kept it long, but got it out of his face more.  People warned us that once we cut his hair the curls wouldn't come back.  But I think it's actually curlier than before.

I'll be having my second colonoscopy in 3 weeks.  (I supposed I should write about this on the crohns blog, but maybe later).  My sister is having her first colonoscopy on the same day. I'm not too nervous this time.  I'll be doing a different prep process, but I'll be drinking a lot less volume, which will be a welcomed change. And I'm not too worried about what they'll find, diagnostically, because it'll (more than likely) still be crohns.  I've not been having pain, or any serious flare ups, but it's been 4 years, so it's time.

It's been three weeks since I've really exercised (aside from walking).  I was going to get up and run this morning, but I didn't really sleep until after 3, and getting up at 5:30 was just not going to happen.  Maybe tomorrow, we'll see how it goes, but I do need to get moving again.  I just feel better when I do.

Vacation is over.

I've been in Virginia for the last two weeks.  Bertie and I head home tomorrow.

We had a pretty good trip.  A few hiccups:

• The red eye here was hard.  Bertie did pretty well, but the planes were completely full.  He is a wiggly sleeper, and he's big for sleeping in my lap now. 
• He hasn't slept well the whole trip.  I'm chalking it up to separation anxiety.  He has a hard time being away from me too.  I've had to sneak away.  When he wakes up at night he cries til I come in.  And I have to stay in there at night until he falls asleep.  I'm glad he'll be in his own bed tomorrow.
• Due to his clingy-ness, I feel like it hasn't been a real vacation.  I haven't gotten much of a break.  I told Aaron that when I home I'm going to throw Bertie at him and run away.

Some of the fun things:

• We all went to the zoo, which was fun.  Bertram seemed to enjoy it.  It was nice to do something all together.  (Except, poor Jessica tripped and got really scraped up on the way in).  We got to feed the animals, including a giraffe!  That was so cool; to touch, pet and feed a giraffe.
• Rebecca and I had a seester day today.  I left Bertie with my mom and Glenn and we headed out.  We got pedicures and fun snacks and auricle piercings.  I really liked the piercing parlour (they do tattoos too).  Beck and I will definitely return (for a tattoo or more piercings).  The girl who did them was really good, I barely felt it (which was a huge change from my last cartilage piercing).
• Rebecca and I got to hang out a lot, which was awesome.  And seeing my mom everyday too.  I didn't have to cook, I didn't have to drive much.

Bertie's vocabulary has exploded lately.  He's picking up new words all the time.  New words (or phrases): clean up, boom, wheels car round around (like the wheels on the bus), llama, night-night, grandma, book read, thank you (just a couple times), cartoon, no (he's saying no a lot now). okay.  I'm sure there are more but I can't think of more.

I went with my sister to her GI appointment.  It seems likely she has crohns too.  She is going to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy on the same day I'm going to have my colonoscopy.  I thought that was funny.

Tomorrow will be kinder.

Today was quite a day.  It started out well enough.  Bertie woke a little after 7, nursed and went back to sleep until 10.  In turn, I went back to sleep until 10.

We got up and both had breakfast.  He was acting like he was still tired.  So I tried to lay him back down.  That didn't work, so we went to visit his great grandma for a little bit. He seemed tired again.  I thought about going to Ikea today, and in retrospect, I should have just gone.  I tried putting him down a lot of times. I tried laying down with him.  I tried rocking him.  He nursed a lot.  Despite having slept a lot last night, nearly 10 hours, I was exhausted all day.  All I wanted was a nap.  Every time I wasn't holding him

I also kept looking to see if my MiL came home.  Because loves seeing Bertie, and I really wanted the break.  But she was gone all day.

Around 4:30 he finally went to sleep!  The heavens opened and the angels sang.  I got a couple things done, and then I took a nap on the couch with Zelda.  Bertie woke up around 6, and my MiL was home, so we went to visit for a bit.  We came home, he had dinner, I had dinner.  He played a little bit, and I sent him to bed at 7:30.

Aaron was working all day, so I haven't seen him.  It was a long day.  I haven't exercised, I barely have 4000 steps, I ate terribly.  I couldn't do anything to help the baby.  And I'm having a crohns pain. It was a bad day.

All corners

I told Aaron today that I may have cheated on him with SpongeBob Squarepants.  Mojo is all corners.  I can't ever figure out if he's up, or down or which way.  Sometimes it feels like his completely perpendicular to the way he's supposed to be.  It's painful at times.  And when he's under my ribs, it's always on the right side.  I've been playing Bach for Mojo a couple times a day.  He seems to like it.  And Aaron's still working his way through the Hobbit (reading it aloud to my belly (and me) most nights).  The crib arrived the other day.  We need to assemble it, and buy a mattress.  I'm really looking forward to maternity leave and nesting.  11 work days left!!!  We also have our infant care class tomorrow.  I'm sure Aaron will be bored, but I'm looking forward to it.

Dad's been at Good Sam since Friday night.  He has an abscess near his small intestine, and it caused the intestine to be inflamed, and that caused a partial blockage.  So he was put on NPO, and started on some pain meds and iv antibiotics.  Saturday and Sunday he still wasn't feeling well.  He had a CAT scan on Monday, and things were looking better, and he was starting to feel better.  Today he felt pretty good, And he got to start on a full liquid diet.  It's looking like he'll get to go home tomorrow.  Yay.

Aaron's been sick the past couple days.  He has something akin to a mild flu (no fever).  He stayed home yesterday and today, but went to a meeting tonight.  I think he may be well enough to go back to work tomorrow, but we'll see.  He's still pretty weak.  Somehow, I've stayed really healthy through my pregnancy (knock on wood).

Too much has happened.

If you read my Crohns blog, you'll be update with all the stuff that's been going on with my dad.  He went into the hospital for bleeding a little over a week ago, and ended up having a complete colectomey (ending with a colostomy bag) on Friday.  He was originally supposed to stay for a week following the surgery, but it looks like he may only need 5 days. So things are looking up.

Aaron and I have spent a lot of time at the hospital, or driving to and fro.

Mojo has been moving around a lot.  Especially after I eat in the morning.  I'm still feeling pretty good, my back hurts at the end of some days, and I pee a lot.  I noticed today that I can feel Mojo kicking from the outside.  So now I just need to get Aaron to catch him moving.

Tomorrow our driveway will be ripped out.  The giant, annoying camphor tree will be going (hopefully) soon after that.  I'm looking forward to the tree being gone, and having a flat, non-broken driveway, but it seems like it's going to be an annoyingly long process.

Hopefully we'll be able to go to the temple in the next couple weeks.  It's been over a year since we've been, and I was practically inactive.  But now I've got myself sorted out, and I'd like to go once or twice before Mojo comes along, and runs our lives.

I start my yoga class this week.  I also get my hair done on Friday.

A pretty good day.

Last night was the first night I slept with a pillow between my knees for the first time.  My back has started hurting a little.  (Mid back, not lower, which is kind of surprising).  I read that the pillow would help.  When I woke up this morning, no back pain!  Yay.  I slept from 10:30 to 8:30, which was fantastic.

For breakfast I made the Pilsbury cinnamon rolls that have the orange icing.  They were really good.  We started some house chores, and then took my car to the shop.  It was time for an oil change and a 90k mile check up.  We came back home, and did a couple more thing, and then we drove Nonna (the truck) over the hill to Santa Cruz.  Aaron's bio-mom had a post about Stagnaro's earlier this week, on Facebook.  That made me want to go there.  And I somehow convinced Aaron that it would be a good idea.  (He is not a seafood fan, except clam chowder and calamari).  The drive over was easy, and no traffic.

We didn't know that today was the 100th anniversary of the Pier.  So the city was having some event about it with music and a bunch of classic cars.  Some were from 1914; super ornate.  We got into Stagnaro's pretty quickly.  I texted my dad to see if he wanted any food he asked me to bring back cioppino, salad and bread.  I got calamari and chowder, Aaron got a burger and chowder.  (For a seafood place, that was a really good burger)!  After lunch, we stopped at the candy store and got a couple things before heading back over the hill.

We went to my dad's house on the way back, to check in on him, and bring him his food.  His prednisone has been working, and he's been eating a lot.  That's good because he's 6' and was down to 147 lbs. He's mostly been feeling ok, but it still spiking fevers at night.  But he's feeling and looking more peppy.  We ended up staying there for a couple hours.  We always get to chatting.

On the way home, we were going to go to Trader Joes for chili fixins, but decided to go home instead.  I took a nap for a bit.  After that I asked Aaron to drive me to Target.  So we browsed there for a while, and got some stuff.  Then it was time to get my car.

It was about $450, I got an oil change, new engine mount, breaks redone, and the spark plugs etc.  So not too bad.  We stopped by Yogurtland on the way home.  Then took the dogs for a walk.

Now, I'm snuggled on the couch with Julius on my right and Zelda on my left.  They're both snoozing.

Life is good.

Thursday is almost Friday.

It's been a long week.

I got to work early on Monday, 5:50am, instead of 6:30am.  I had a doctor appointment for the baby.  At 6:30 I got a call from my dad, asking if I could drive him to the hospital.  (He also has Crohns, and had been spiking fevers and bleeding for a week).  I told him I was already at work, but I'd call Aaron.  Fortunately, Aaron had brought his phone to bed the night before.  (I'd started bringing mine to bed with me while Aaron was gone all Summer, now it's a habit).  Aaron sprung into action, and took my dad to Good Sam.  Another good thing is Aaron is on salary, and many days does not have a set schedule.  He stayed with my dad in the ER til he was made comfortable, and was all checked in.  Then he did a little running around, and met me at Kaiser for my appt.

My visit was boring.  Except that we got to hear the heartbeat.  That was neat.

After that I went back to work.  Aaron went back to Good Sam to see my dad.  He'd been admitted and was in a room.  He's been there since.  He got blood and plasma yesterday, and blood again today.  Plus they started him on Prednisone again.  The bleeding and fevers have stopped.  They're still working on getting his H and H up.  He was at 9 and 27 today, still too low, but still improving

We've been visiting him everyday.  Today he was asleep, so I didn't stay long.  They think he'll be able to leave tomorrow.

So with all that, I've been especially exhausted this week.  I'm just drained.  Emotionally, and physically.  Stuff at home has been sliding, and I don't have the energy to do it.  I'm glad it's almost the weekend.

In Response

http://rationalfaiths.com/so-when-you-gonna-have-kids/

I saw the above blog post and wanted to write a response.  Or maybe a similar blog.

Most people know my story, but I'll do a quick recap, just in case.  My husband and I got married 8 years ago.  We were 23 and 22, respectively.  At that point, we were no where near ready to start a family.  We were both still students, living in one of the most expensive areas of the country, and both working part time.

After a year of marriage, we moved to Utah, so my husband could pursue his Master's degree.  While living there, we could have afforded kids, even with him still being in school.  But we weren't ready yet.  After that, my husband enrolled in law school in San Francisco.  We moved back to one of the most expensive parts of the country.  My husband commuted 2+ hours every day. We lived on my income and his student loans.  And even with reduced rent (living in a house owned by his parents) we were barely scrapping by.  (Note, we didn't have a lot of luxuries, no cable, slower internet, no smart phones etc).

In the middle of his 2nd year of law school, we decided it would be a good time to start trying to have a baby.  We figured that by the time I got pregnant, and then gave birth he'd be just about done with school.
Then Crohns happened.  I was diagnosed after a major flare up that caused me to loose 20+ lbs in 3 months.  At this time we were told to stop trying until the Crohns was under control.

A lot of time passed, with no Crohns remission.  At that point we started looking into adoption.  We had both always wanted to adopt, but that process was much more daunting than we'd ever imagined.  LDS Family Services was more expensive, and less responsive than I'd anticipated.  Regular private adoption was MUCH more expensive than either of us thought ($15,000 on the low end).  So we put all baby plans on hold.  At this point we both had good jobs, and were living comfortably.  But we couldn't afford $15k, especially since it is all due up front.

Towards the end of 2012 (we'd been married 7.5 years at this point), I got the "Okay" to start trying again.  We were/are in a bit of a hurry to get me pregnant.  Who knows how long my Crohns will be under control?    It's been about 9 months at this point.

So now to my thoughts on the article:
It's really nice to know there are others in the same boat.  I'm hoping some people from "the other side" read it as well.  Aka, the breeders, the people who never had any problems getting pregnant, and were able to have as many kids as they saw fit.  Because the people who have been in my shoes, the author's shoes, many of my friend's shoes, know better than to ask the stupid questions, or say idiotic things.

Here are some of my "favourites" from over the years (these are all things I heard either at church, or from LDS members):

• Multiple testimonies from pregnant women (or new moms) about how grateful they were that God trusted them enough to bless them with children
• From the pulpit that God doesn't give kids to people who aren't ready (which explains all the teen moms, right?)
• From two different people that said we lacked faith by not trying to start a family from day one
• In a Sunday School lesson that a woman doesn't know true love until a newborn baby is placed on her belly.  
• That a family without kids is incomplete
• That a woman can't fulfill her eternal calling without having kids.

And of course the usual when are you going to have kids? and what are you waiting for?

When we were ready, but not able, I did something that I guess is unheard of.  I came out.  I teach in Relief Society (ladies' sunday school) once a month.  And I took the opportunity to tell everyone that we wanted kids, but weren't able to make them.  We would love to adopt, but couldn't afford it.  I'm generally an open person, I don't have secrets.  So it wasn't a big deal for me to "come out."  The main reason I did that was for self preservation.  I didn't want to hear the question anymore.  I didn't want to have to explain my pain on a weekly basis.  After coming out, I got a lot of comments about how brave I was, how other people couldn't do that.  I got several personal stories sent to my facebook inbox.  And suddenly I was less alone.  No one wants to talk about it, but once someone mentions it, everyone feels safe to talk.  

I had people who were more sensitive to what they said.  I had people asking if there was anything I needed (I always said, "be on the lookout for knock up teens whose baby needs a good home").

That's all I can think of on this now.  

Hodge Podge

• Politics is too divisive, and I'm already tired of hearing about election stuff.  Still 2 months to go, too.  
• My liver went (scarily) crazy this week.  So now I'm off nearly all of my drugs.  I still have to finish my prednisone.  But other than that, all I'm on is Celexa, and twice monthly Humira.  Can I say, I really, really, really miss Adderall?  Maybe my GI will give me the ok to go back on it soon.  But, my gosh, I'm so tired ALL THE TIME.  And I can't focus on anything.  Adderall was not likely the issue.  But the GI got rid of all ancillary drugs.  Blurgle.
• My crohns symptoms are starting to creep back.  Maybe I'll lose these 4 Prednisone pounds sooner rather than later.
• Also, I don't have the energy to walk both dogs on my own anymore.  I think we went maybe 4 blocks, before I had to turn around.  So maybe that weight will stick around.
• I got Employee of the Month for the second time in three months last week.  I'm pretty awesome.
• I think I may be getting my first smart phone (ever).  I don't really want or need a smartphone.  But it is time to get a new phone.  And the non-smart ones are kind of lame.  I don't really plan on using the data, but maybe I'll change my mind once I get it.

Word dump

Too much had gone on since I last wrote.

The main thing was that my dad was in the hospital for about a week and a half.  He was having some really bad bleeding (from his crohns).  And got taken to the hospital last Saturday (8/18).  He was there til Wednesday.  He still wasn't feeling well, but was released anyway.  Thursday, he fell, or possibly passed out (once again, blood loss).  He called his friend to take him back to the hospital, but by the time the friend arrived, he looked really bad, so they called 911, and he rode in the ambulance to the ER.  He has an MRI on top on other things, and they discovered a compression fracture in T-9.  Possibly from the fall, or the long term use of prednisone.  He got out yesterday.  I brought him some soups today, since that was all he could think that he wanted.  He doesn't feel like eating.  But he does seem better.  Less grouchy.

My crohns has been acting up too.  I started prednisone, against my better judgement.  It seems to be helping, and I'm not having the severity of side effects from before.

People keep walking past the house, and Fiona is going crazy.

Monday was Aaron's birthday.  We didn't do much except have dinner with Aaron's folks.

Yesterday night we went to our first Dog Scouts meeting.  It was pretty fun.  I think it'll be good to having the dogs making friends.  And us too.

Work has been going well.  I've still been doing a lot of overtime.  They hired a new girl for front desk.  She seems good, very professional.

Aaron's cousin had her baby today.  She was supposed to be induced on 8/26, but they didn't start til 8/27, and they she wasn't dilating.  Even after two rounds of pitocin, she was still under 5cm.  So she had to have a c-section.   

Long day...

• Last night, I made a tofu "meatloaf" so I would have easy lunches and dinners for a few days.  I brought some for lunch today.  Ugh, it was awful!  Probably the worst thing I've ever made.  I hate wasting food, but there was no way it was going to get eaten.  
• Getting up at 5:30 is getting harder, for some reason.  I assumed it would get easier.  But every morning, when the alarm goes off (no matter how early I went to bed), it's always too soon.
• I got stuck on billing stuff this afternoon.  I spent over 2 hours on one EoB, and didn't even finish it.  :sigh:  I left it all open on the computer.  I'm really hoping it doesn't log out over night (it does that some times).
• I was planning on hiking after work, but then realized I was out of my main crohns medicine.  (!)  It's one I take 3 pills, 3 times a day.  I went to grab a new bottle from the cabinet, and it was all gone.  Worse, was that I didn't have any refills left.  So I left a message at the GIs office, and sent him an email.  Fortunately, he was in, and was able to renew it..
• So after work, I drove to Kaiser to pick up the meds and do my blood work.  On the way there, my 12 pack of soda broke open, and they rolled all over the car.  I was worried they would explode, but they didn't (yay).  
• For some reason, it didn't hurt during the blood draw, but now my arm is super bruised, and hurts a lot.

Bleh

I turn 29 in 2 days.  O_o  Not sure how I feel about this.  There is certainly more I wanted to accomplish by 29: have a college degree, have (procure) a baby, be able to travel...  But there are a lot of other things: we live in a nice house, we have doggies (and catties) (all rescues), I haven't eaten a land animal in over three years, and I haven't had sugar in 10+ days!

I'm starting Humira on Wednesday.  Not sure how I feel about that either.  Self-injectables don't sound great.  Plus I'm not sure how much it's going to cost.  And I still have to continue my other drug regiment.  I think that's the worst part.  I was hoping it would replace some of them.  And it will, in 3-4 months, but for now, lots and lots of drugs.  I just want to be well again.  I want to stop having flare-ups.  I want to not have to worry about running to the bathroom and not making it.  And maybe not be exhausted all the time.

The random list of things from today.

• I took Diamond Jim to the vet, because he'd been barfing all week.  He was a very good boy.  And on the way home, I let him out of the crate in the car, which he liked a lot.  Anyway, he has some GI issues, just like his mommy.  So he's on some meds and special diet.
• The weather was wonderful today.  I've had the windows open for most of the afternoon.  My house smells like steak.  It's kind of making me hungry, despite not having eaten steak in 3+ years.
• Aaron went to the city to play D&D with his friends.  So I was on my own.
• I went to my dad's to clean and get things ready for my sister, who's coming in a week.  (EEE!)
• My crohns has been very under control lately.  I think we finally have a regiment that is going to work.
• However, my depression is getting much worse.  All I want to do in lay in bed all day.  And/or cry.  But I force myself to do the necessary things.  I'm going to talk to the bishop tomorrow to see if I can get a referral to an LDS therapist.  (Usually they're cheaper than regular ones, and they can give me a religious perspective too.  But my thoughts have been scaring me lately.  Like driving home I thought, I can drive real fast into that lamp post, and maybe that would do it.  I don't think I'd actually commit any self-harm.  But the fact that I keep thinking about it frightening.
• My grandpa isn't dying.  He just had a bleeding ulcer.
• I line dried a bunch of clothes today.  It's awesome.
• I wish I could read, or pronounce Welsh.
• Somewhere in my cleaning adventures today, I really hurt my back.  I asked Aaron to get some topical muscle relaxant on his way home.
• Despite being in pain, and not wanting to, I took the dogs on a long walk.  Well, not long, 2.2 miles, but they haven't done that distance in quite a while.  So they're happy, and pooped.

I don't feel well.  I feel so bad, in fact, that I wouldn't mind being on Prednisone at this point.  That's pretty bad.  Stupid Crohns.  I never realized how draining a long term illness is.  Funny, the things we take for granted.

On a brighter note, I have a new lofty dream.  I'm thinking about getting an RN when Aaron is done with school.  Two of the local community colleges have RN programs.  But I can't start applying til I know where we're going to be.  So hopefully by this time next year, I can be applying.  Also, hopefully most of my GE stuff will transfer from SJSU.  I talked to my mom to see if not having a BSN would be a hindrance.  She said it wouldn't unless I wanted to work in management, which I don't.  Plus, most of the community college programs have a bridge to BSN, should I change my mind.  But I'm not really looking for a career, per say.  But since it will be a while til we have kids, it would be good to have an actual career.  Useful skills, etc.  I think long term, I'd be looking to work at a doctor's office, or a small surgery center, not a hospital.  Just something with normal-type hours.

Feeling like a sad sack today.  I haven't been feeling well lately, which is part of it.  The other part is wrapping my head around the possibility probability that we will never have biological kids.  I'd always assumed we had bio and adopted kids.  I guess that's what I guess for assuming.  Most of the times I've come to accept that fact. That we'll be old parents, that our kid(s) won't have our genes, that our family will likely be a lot smaller than either of us had hoped.  Our kid(s) will also cost a lot more money.

I really don't like it when people say "You're still young, you have lots of time!"  I'm not that young.  And the Crohns isn't getting under control, so it's not looking good.  Ugh, I just hate that; it's so pandering.

My doctor suggested switching drugs, since the Entocort is not working super great.  The next step is Humira, an injectable drug.  I think it's going to be very expensive though.  That's a factor, since I have to be able to afford it.  Someone I know, he husband has Crohns and was on Humira, it was $2500 per dose after insurance!  Yeah, I can't afford that.  Guess I'll have to wait and see how much it will cost, then make a decision.

Rounding the bend

One of the therapists brought donuts today.  And, against my better judgement, I had one for breakfast.  Then my tummy was mad at me for most of the day.  For dinner I had pasta.  Then I wanted Muddy Buddies (aka puppy chow, aka trash), so I made some.  I'm probably going to regret that too, but whatever.  I like to get some joy out of food every now and then.

My drugs came in the mail today.  Here's how it goes:

Entocort (immunosuppressant)  Retail: $1,419.90  I paid: $10
Ambien (sleeping pill)               Retail: $9.80          I paid: $9.80
Asacol (gut drugs)                    Retail: $1,148.25   I paid: $35

"Your drug plan saved you $2523.15".  Yeesh.  Thank God for insurance.  Seriously, I include that in my prayers a lot.

Speaking of drugs, my shrink prescribed me Ritalin due to my perpetual sleepiness.  I want to say: I've never done any illegal drugs.  I've never even been drunk (just tipsy once at a Passover Seder).  I have to say, Ritalin is the best thing ever.  I'm on a low dose, but it really makes me feel great, like I have a lot of focused energy.  I'm thinking of asking the shrink to wean me off of the Prozac and just stick with Ritalin (especially since it has fewer side effects).

Aaron and I have been watching Dog Town on Netflix.  It's a show about Best Friends animal shelter in Kanab, Utah.  I was looking through their website at adoptable pets.  They still have a lot of the Michael Vick dogs.  I was looking through the cats, and saw a cat named Diamond Jim.  And I got the feeling he needed to be part of our family.  (I know most people won't understand this, as we're already inundated with animals.  But this guy is 10, and he's never had a home).  I got the ok from Aaron.  So I sent in the application on Monday.  And they're doing a Christmas special, where they'll fly the animals for free.  (Since he's in Utah, normally we'd either have to go get him, or ship him for $150-200).  I got a call from a Best Friends rep today.  She was telling me about Diamond Jim.  He's FIV+ (which we already knew).  He's a sweet boy, who loves people and ignores other cats.  He has no teeth, but can still eat regular hard food.  He had a little kidney issue, so he's currently on subcutaneous fluids (Aaron had to do this with our previous cat, Phantom before).   The rep said he's one of her favourite cats, and she was happy someone wants to take him home.  Normally they'd do a home visit, but she said she may be able to waive it, since we have a lot of experience with cats and we always adopt through shelter/rescue, so we'll see.  Also, he'll have a physical tomorrow, and he needs to do a dog test, to make sure he'll get along ok with them.  (Both the dogs love cats).  So she's going to contact me again tomorrow or Friday, and we'll see what happens.  If he doesn't do well with dogs, maybe there's a different, old FIV+ cat.  Or maybe we'll wait.