Weighty Issue

I knew I was gaining weight.  My usual weight is 142.  Today I bit the bullet and weighed myself, after avoiding the scale for weeks.  157.  I can hardly believe it.  It's been 10 years since I weighed this much.  My highest was 163.

I think there are a few factors at work here.  The first was getting off of Adderall.  One of the main side effects of Adderall is weight loss.  The second factor is depression.  It's been pulling me down a lot lately.  To the point where I don't want to do anything.  After work I sit on the couch and watch a lot of tv, or play on my tablet.  The third factor is a combination of the first two: fatigue.  I'm so tired all the time.  I just want to sleep.  I think it's probably a vicious cycle.  I'm tired, and depressed so I don't exercise.  Not exercising makes me gain weight, which makes me more tired, depressed and fat.

My clothes are all tight, some flat out don't fit anymore.  My underwear and bras are tight.  My rings are snug.  Even my sweatpants are tighter.  My mother in law patted my belly last week because she thought (and hoped) I was pregnant.

Here's the plan:
This first week(starting tomorrow) is detox.  No sugars, no diet soda, and as few processed foods as possible.  I'll be eating a lot of fruits, vegetables, tofu, eggs, salad and oatmeal.  This is going to be hard, I'm super addicted to candy and diet coke.  That's why I think it's essential to cut them out for at least the first week.  I'll also be counting calories
I'm going to start moving a lot.  I ordered something from tv.  I've never done that before, but I got Hip Hop Abs.  Not because I want great abs (well, I do, but it's not a priority), but it actually looks like fun; something reminiscent of Zumba.  That will be 6 days a week.  I'm going to try to do some two-a-days too.  Probably jogging, hiking, stationary bike, and yoga.

My goal is to be at least 10 lbs lighter by the time I got see my family in a month.  My longer term goal is to be 20-30 lbs lighter by labour day.  I'll be weighing in every Wednesday, including tomorrow, just to get in the habit.  I'll maybe post a new picture in 2 or 3 weeks.

This week

• Aaron was gone to Camp High Sierra (a boy scout camp) for the week, so I was on my own.  Sometimes I enjoy the quiet, but I miss him.
• I managed to take the dogs hiking twice this week, because it wasn't too hot.  One day we did the short loop at Quicksilver.  The other day we hiking part of Sierra Azul with my dad.  Zelda was dragging along.  I'm not sure if she wasn't feeling well, or if she's just getting old.
• Janet and Dennis got the tree in front of our house cut way back.  It looks great.  And I'm no longer worried about its limbs breaking off into the street.  The pile for street pick up was huge!

• I took my Humira yesterday.  It always smashes me after I take it.  And I made a mistake: you're not supposed to take it if you're sick.  If you feel ill, you're supposed to take your temperature before taking it, which I didn't.  Usually after I take it, it kicks my butt for a couple days.  No exceptions this time around.  Also, it knocks the immune system down a little, so I usually stay home; avoid the germ playground that is church.
• I want to revamp my wardrobe.  I hate most of my clothes.  I went to the outlets in Gilroy yesterday.  It was largely a bust.  I found one shirt I liked.  I really hate the clothes for this season.  A weird combination of neon 80's and fringe/hippie/gypsy.  Bleh.  I want basic, but cute, with maybe a vintage flare.  My follow up was to shop more today, but I'm sequestering myself to avoid germs.
• I made a couple things off of Pinterest this week.  Homemade Frosty Paws (dog frozen yogurt treats), and marinated baked tofu.  Both turned out great.  Yay me!
• I miss my sister and my mom.
• I dragged myself to Safeway this morning.  I'm trying to make the house inviting for Aaron's return.  (If I were returning from a week at boy scout camp, I'd want a big choice of food, a clean house, and a nice bed).  We now have a well-stocked fridge.  I don't like going to Safeway, it's expensive and crowded.  But I didn't want to drive far, and Safeway never closes.  I went at 8.30, thinking I'd beat the crowds; I didn't.  And I forgot how expensive it is.  Trader Joes and Sunflower are specialty, but they're way cheaper!  But I did get things that Aaron will like: lunch meat, Mexican coke, diet soda, frozen pizza, bread, apples, baby carrots etc.  Oh and cereal!  I was actually able to buy cereal by his specifications (which is don't pay more than $2 a box).  There was a sale on Kelloggs for $2 a box.  And I bought myself two lobster tails on a whim, they were also on sale.  But they didn't have lima beans.  I've been wanting them lately.

A good day

• Work is going well.  I really like doing the billing.  And I like being in an office by myself most of the day.  It makes things less stressful.
• I had Shirataki Tofu noodles for dinner.  They were pretty good, and have practically no calories (especially compared to pasta).  I think the trick is to dry them really well.  Maybe I'll use the salad spinner next time.
• I made baked tofu earlier this week.  It turned out awesome.  I'm doing round 2 tonight.
• I've lost 4 lbs since I've started counting my calories.  Yay!
• After work I went hiking and took the doggies.  It was pretty good.  Zelda was getting tired.  She's out of shape.  Lazy greyhound.
• My new Adderall is great.  It's extended release, it works great.
• On Saturday I'm going to go to the outlets.  Recently, I hate all my clothes.  Actually I have good jeans, but I need skirts and shirts.  And a new pair of shoes.