A whiny TMI kind of post

I am three days post-partum and everything hurts.

I expected different.  All the accounts I'd heard of unmedicated birth made it sound super awesome.  You feel great afterwards, you really get to bond with your baby, It's so much less painful than a c-section, etc.  I don't feel that way.  Maybe I'm a bigger wimp (than most people) when it comes to pain, but I did not feel great afterwards.  Everything hurt so much.  I needed stitches, that was painful, plus there was a lot of pressure (I'm not sure from what) which was also painful.  Bronwyn had to be checked for meconium, so I didn't get the super long bonding time.  And, really, I just felt so gross after, I was dripping with sweat, there was a lot of blood, amniotic fluid and whatever else (poop? no clue, but I wouldn't be surprised). I would have loved to hop up and shower, but I couldn't do that right away either.
I guess I'm not cut out to be a natural birth person.

Now, three days later, I don't feel like any of the pain has improved.  Everything downstairs still hurts, and I'm a little concerned that I've torn a stitch.  I was really concerned about having to poop, since everything is so painful.  But that finally happened today, and wasn't too bad.  But walking, moving, scooting in a seat, getting in and out of bed, it all hurts.  A little like I'm falling apart.  To top it off, breastfeeding isn't going as well as last time.  We went to the newborn clinic today, and she's lost more weight, she's at 9%, since birth.  They weighed her before and after nursing, and she didn't get much.  My milk isn't really in yet, isn't still more colostrum-y, so there isn't a lot.  (I've pumped a couple times, and gotten less than an ounce both times (when pumped from both sides)),  We're going back to clinic tomorrow to try again.  But we may need to supplement with formula til my milk comes in more.  I'm not too concerned about this. Lord knows, my nipples would welcome the break.  But I'm concerned that my supply might always be low.  So I don't know.  I do know I feel terrible now, because I dread when she wakes up, because she needs to eat, and it hurts so much.  They looked at her latch, and said it was fine, so I assume it's because my nipples haven't toughened yet.  But to not be able to feed your kid adequately and be in terrible pain at the same time is a double whammy.

And I know this too shall pass.  And in a week or so, everything will likely be much improved.  But this is where I am, today.