Just the life of any other Rachel

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

This and that

Starting January 1st I went meat-free again.  Aaron and Bertie are doing mostly meat-free,  Bertie doesn't really like much meat anyway, so it's not hard for him.  I had a proud mommy moment today.  We went to the mall and were getting lunch while we were there.  I asked him if he wanted a burger (veggie burger, as we were sharing), a salad or rice and beans (Chipotle).  I was sure he'd choose the burger or Chipotle (he loves rice and beans).  He chose salad!  He didn't want much of the lettuce (probably because it very lightly dressed with a vinegrette), but he ate lots of edamame, chickpeas and lentils.

On January 1st I also cut out Diet Coke and all sugar (sweets, syrup, jelly, sugar cereal, fruity yogurt etc).   So far, this is only for January.  But I'll evaluate when the month is done. It's been so hard!  I had a terrible headache the first two days.  No more headaches, but God, I want sweets and diet coke.

We adopted our new three-footed kitty on Sunday.  She hitched a ride with a couple from Scotts Valley.  She's small, and hobbildy.  We went back and forth on names.  Aaron said "What about Priya?"  So she's call Priya.  She hasn't been introduced to the rest of the house yet, but we're getting there.

Bertie went bowling for the first time last night.  He was very uncertain at first, and didn't like the pins falling down.  But he got the hang of it, then really wanted to keep playing.  His final score was better than mine! I think I'll take him again during the day sometime.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Year End Survey

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
Flew with a toddler, went to a trampoline park, fed a giraffe, stopped nursing (boo-hoo), did yoga everyday for 30 days, swam in Pinecrest

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I wanted to get in shape and/or pregnant again and save more money.  I am in better shape, but still way heavier than I would ideally like to be.  We did pretty good about saving money.  We double our savings from last year (which should give you an idea of how little we had), and started an account for Bertram.  

For 2016... I'd like to double savings again, which should be doable.  But I don't have anything else in mind.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I think all the close people were either 2014 or next year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
none, still.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
More hiking and running, and more couple time without baby.

7. What days from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Playing tourist in SF on Bertie's birthday, getting lost on the way to Pier 39, and being stuck on the Embarcadero for an hour on the way home.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Saving money


9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being as patient or kind as I should

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, but I had a colonoscopy in December.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I think I'll go with the best thing we stopped buying: health insurance!  We get our whole family covered by Aaron's (new-this-year) job for under $40 a month, with coverage that can hardly be beat. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Aaron, he's awesome.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Picture People.  They suck, a lot.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Visiting my family in November

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
nothing is coming to mind.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier, I think
ii. thinner or fatter? a little thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Really cherished my breastfeeding time.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

 Eating junk

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We'll be with Aaron's folks and extended family.  My dad will come.  I'm excited.

22. Did you fall in love in 2015?
Just stayed in love

23. How many one-night stands?
none, duh.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Amazing race, Project runway, Cut Throat Kitchen, Bobs Burgers, Last Man on Earth (the only change from last year)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I try not to waste time on hate.

26. What was the best book you read?
Ready Player One.  Not because I liked it that much, but I think it's the only book I read this year.  (That is sad).

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
More of the same stuff.

28. What did you want and get?
To lose weight, have Bertie catch up (developmentally), and more money


29. What did you want and not get?
To lose all the baby weight

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Kingsmen was good

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We went to the flea market, The Habit for lunch and Red Lobster for dinner.  I turned 32

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Having more energy, most of the time.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
jeans and tees.

34. What kept you sane?
Anti-depressants, Aaron having a normal schedule, Bertram's smile

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ruby Rose

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Marriage equality.

37. Who did you miss?
Most people, I feel like I was isolated.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't meet a lot of new people

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015:
The county is the best employer there is.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
??

A december post

Apparently it's been a month since I was last here.  I think I'm in a little depression slump.  No reason, really, as usual.

Our fakey tree is set up in the kitchen (displaced from the living room, due to Bertie's toys), and stuffed with gifts underneath.  I am pretty excited for Christmas.  I hope Bertie might actually get into opening gifts.  And if not, I'm still excited to see what he got.  We're having dinner with Aaron's family (as we always do), and my dad is coming (as he always does).  We've decided we're not "doing" Santa.  I have no nostalgia around it.  And Aaron doesn't care to do it.  (Actually the only memories I have about Santa were hoping that he was real, and would ignore the fact I was Jewish, though, he never did).  But I did get Bertram's picture with the Santa at Bass Pro Shop, because it was free.  My gift from Aaron was having my engagement ring re-set with two diamonds from my great-aunt's ring.

We're in the process of getting a new cat, because I'm a crazy person.  I saw that four years ago, we adopted Diamond Jim from Best Friends, in Utah.  I looked at their website, and saw it was cheap adoption time again, and saw an old lady cat called Tinsley.  She is 10, has 3 legs, and a black splotch on her white face.  I've always wanted a three-legged cat or dog.  And we like to get the less desirable cats (old, or with FIV, or old with FIV).  Because we have adopted from them before, she is free.  As of now, she is scheduled to arrive on January 8th.

Also, in the new year, I'm going back to being vegetarian.  Or maybe a very occasional pescaterian, I haven't decided yet.  I don't really like eating animals, and I don't like what it does for the environment.  ...But I'm also planning on getting pregnant again next year, so we'll see what my body wants to do.

Bertie is doing well.  He talks a lot!  He is really starting to become a twonager.  It's hard to keep my patience sometimes, but I'm still new at this, so I try to cut myself a little break.  And generally speaking, he's good, but precocious.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Some Musings

I feel like I've lost my faith.  Well, I suppose that's  incorrect.  I think my faith lost me.  I had been having trouble with my testimony/church membership for a long time.  It was weird too, because the more I tried to do the right things (and "fake it til you make it") the further I felt. God stopped talking to me, so for a while, I stopped talking to God.  But not to long ago, I tried again, and I asked what should I do, what should I be doing?  The answer was do what brings you joy.  I haven't really found what brings me joy yet.  And my faith has become a somewhat contentious subject in our house.  I really wish I could make myself believe.  It would make things easier, and it would be nice to just believe.  But I've tried, and as of now, I can't.  Maybe that will change, I'm certainly open to it.  But at the moment this is all I've got (spiritually speaking): I'm pretty sure there it something out there.  I don't know how hands on this something is, but I think there is something greater than myself.

It's starting to get cold again.  Not like the rest of the country, where it actually gets cold.  Just cold for here, which is more than enough for me. We're had to turn on our heater, which is nice, but parts of our house are poorly insulated (particularly the master bedroom).  Even when the heat is on, it can still be chilly.

Bertram had his first haircut a few days ago.  I took him to Kinder Cuts, and he got to sit in a truck while having his hair cut.  He did really well, and the stylist did well too. I kept it long, but got it out of his face more.  People warned us that once we cut his hair the curls wouldn't come back.  But I think it's actually curlier than before.

I'll be having my second colonoscopy in 3 weeks.  (I supposed I should write about this on the crohns blog, but maybe later).  My sister is having her first colonoscopy on the same day. I'm not too nervous this time.  I'll be doing a different prep process, but I'll be drinking a lot less volume, which will be a welcomed change. And I'm not too worried about what they'll find, diagnostically, because it'll (more than likely) still be crohns.  I've not been having pain, or any serious flare ups, but it's been 4 years, so it's time.

It's been three weeks since I've really exercised (aside from walking).  I was going to get up and run this morning, but I didn't really sleep until after 3, and getting up at 5:30 was just not going to happen.  Maybe tomorrow, we'll see how it goes, but I do need to get moving again.  I just feel better when I do.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Vacation is over.

I've been in Virginia for the last two weeks.  Bertie and I head home tomorrow.

We had a pretty good trip.  A few hiccups:

  • The red eye here was hard.  Bertie did pretty well, but the planes were completely full.  He is a wiggly sleeper, and he's big for sleeping in my lap now. 
  • He hasn't slept well the whole trip.  I'm chalking it up to separation anxiety.  He has a hard time being away from me too.  I've had to sneak away.  When he wakes up at night he cries til I come in.  And I have to stay in there at night until he falls asleep.  I'm glad he'll be in his own bed tomorrow.
  • Due to his clingy-ness, I feel like it hasn't been a real vacation.  I haven't gotten much of a break.  I told Aaron that when I home I'm going to throw Bertie at him and run away.
Some of the fun things:
  • We all went to the zoo, which was fun.  Bertram seemed to enjoy it.  It was nice to do something all together.  (Except, poor Jessica tripped and got really scraped up on the way in).  We got to feed the animals, including a giraffe!  That was so cool; to touch, pet and feed a giraffe.
  • Rebecca and I had a seester day today.  I left Bertie with my mom and Glenn and we headed out.  We got pedicures and fun snacks and auricle piercings.  I really liked the piercing parlour (they do tattoos too).  Beck and I will definitely return (for a tattoo or more piercings).  The girl who did them was really good, I barely felt it (which was a huge change from my last cartilage piercing).
  • Rebecca and I got to hang out a lot, which was awesome.  And seeing my mom everyday too.  I didn't have to cook, I didn't have to drive much.

Bertie's vocabulary has exploded lately.  He's picking up new words all the time.  New words (or phrases): clean up, boom, wheels car round around (like the wheels on the bus), llama, night-night, grandma, book read, thank you (just a couple times), cartoon, no (he's saying no a lot now). okay.  I'm sure there are more but I can't think of more.

I went with my sister to her GI appointment.  It seems likely she has crohns too.  She is going to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy on the same day I'm going to have my colonoscopy.  I thought that was funny.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

I meant to blog a long time ago.  But then the plague hit (again).

I took Bertie to Happy Hollow a couple weeks ago.  It's a small zoo with rides for little kids, and it's only a few miles from the house.  He wasn't too impressed with the animals.  There was a leopard roaming around in its habitat, which he liked.  But he didn't care about the petting zoo (which I was surprised about).  But he loved the rides.  He was tall enough for the carousel, the cars, and the bugs.  The cars just drive in a circle, and the bugs go up and down (and around).  The cars and bugs he could go on by himself. I had to ride the carousel with him.  But it wasn't crowded, so he rode again and again.

I'm really trying to take him to a lot of different places: zoo, the beach, different parks etc.  We go to the mall a lot, just to walk (where it's cool) and to use the little playground.  Next Monday, I'm going to take him to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  He liked it last time, and I'm debating leaving the stroller, and letting him walk where he wants.  (I may bring the sling, or ergo.)

Aaron was sick with some derivative of bronchitis for a week.  Well, he missed a week of work.  He's still coughing a bit, but he seems to finally be on the mend (after 2+ weeks).

It was a stressful week.  Aaron was super sick, Bertie was a little sick.  I was supposed to see Brianon and Thomas while they were in town, but Bertram took a super long nap and we didn't get to see them (there was a small window of opportunity).  I was supposed to meet another friend, but cancelled at the last minute, due to all the sickness, and stress and other crap.  I shouldn't have, but I did.  I suck.  But I did get to see Amanda, and catch up after maybe a year since seeing her.

Depression is creeping back in.  It's definitely easier to isolate myself.  I've been feeling overwhelmed lately (partly because of the sickness etc).  I have two girlfriends locally (Amanda and Colleen), so I'm trying to make an effort to see them more.

I think there was something else I was going to write about, but I can't think of anything else.


Friday, October 2, 2015

The Lord of the Flies

This is how I feel about the play space at the mall.  Bertie always wants to go whenever we walk at the mall.  Most of the time I oblige him (unless it's super over run with kids).   It was fairly crowded today, but I'd already told him we could go (which lead to a constant chant of "slide, slide, slide").

He is oblivious to most of the things I look out for.  Actually, he's oblivious to most things.  There were several kids that were too big to be in there, mid to late elementary, leaping from object to object.  He's usually the smallest one, though not today, there were some smaller ones.

I try not to be a helicopter parent, but I hover.  I make sure the bigger kids don't steal his spot in line again and again.  I make sure he doesn't get kicked in the face by flailing limbs of other toddlers.  I make sure he doesn't cut in line.  I take him away from the bully kids (since he doesn't defend himself).  For some reason, most other parents don't do this.  They don't make sure their kids aren't just standing on the slide, or pushing other kids, or aren't too big to be there in the first place.  They stare at their phones.

Today, aside from the leaping big kids:  There was a girl, probably about 4 years old, and all of her top teeth were gold.  ALL OF THEM. (I am so judgey.  Seriously, how lax do you have to be with your child's dental hygiene that 50% of their teeth are crowns?!)  She was hard to understand, but I think she accused Bertie of cutting in line, and then said that if you cut in line, you get messed up (or cussed out, again she was hard to understand).  And then I judged her parents again (also they were no where to be seen, as she laid atop the slide, threatening to kick anyone who got too close).

There was something else that was really setting off my radar.  A mom was there with her son, who was probably 12 or 13.  I'm not sure if she had a little kid too.  But the boy was giving me a really weird vibe.  Like a groomer kind of vibe.  We was playing with random kids, patting Bertie on the head.  It was weird.  I'm sure I'm just thinking the worst of people, but my gut was telling me otherwise, so I went with it.  And I watched him closely when he was near Bertie.  And had he done anything more than pat his head I would have told him it's not ok to touch my kid.  I was really glad to get him out of there today.