Hello Fall

 It finally feels like fall.  We had a decent amount of hot days through half of October.  But now it's finally in the 60's during the days.  Aaron took all the window fans down today.  And we've started using the heat.

Both of my parents had surgery on October 27th.  Both went well.  Mom's was quick, everything went as it should, there were no surprises.  Now we're just waiting for the biopsy results.  Dad's proctectomy went well, too.  He's having a much harder recovery.  Issues with his stomach, issues peeing.  He got to go home on Monday, but he's not feeling great.  Even though it was laparoscopic it's still major surgery.  

On the Friday before Halloween the high school near our house hosted a Trunk or Treat for the neighbourhood.  The kids enjoyed that.  Usually the school in just a bother (it's a very expensive private girls' high school), but this is probably the best event they've hosted.

The church was having its Trunk or Treat on Saturday, but it was the same time as Michael's birthday.  Aaron was pretty bummed, as the chili cookoff returned for the first time since the pandemic.  I was bummed too.  That's like the one thing I like attending at the church.  I think the kids' program is coming up, so I'll probably have to go to that.  The birthday party was fine.  The kids had fun, which is the important thing.

On Sunday we got a new tv.  Target had a pretty good sale on a bigger tv than our current one.  And it was time to replace it.  $200 later we were set up..

Monday was Halloween.  Bert was a crewmate from Among Us (some video game), and Bron was a unicorn (for the second time).  First we had the halloween parade at Bronwyn's school, then we went to Bert's school and watched his parade. In the afternoon, I volunteered in Bertram's class while they decorated cookies and pumpkins.  We went Trick or Treating fairly early, 5:30 or so.  Aaron was grumpy that we were the first one's out, I'm not sure why.  Bronwyn just did our street, Bertram went a little further.  They got plenty of candy.  We handed out some, there weren't a ton of kids.  We left the bowl on the porch at the end of the night, and it was empty in the morning, which was fine.  We had plenty of candy without it.

Bertram's school picture came back too

On Wednesday, I got my covid booster.  No issues, a quick appointment.  Except my appointment was actually on Tuesday, but they weren't busy, so it wasn't an issue. In the afternoon, Bronwyn had her dance recital.  She was so cute, I was tearing up watching her.  She's not a great dancer, but she enjoyed herself and did her best.

Today I had my long awaited dentist appointment.  I have been having a sporadic toothache for a couple of weeks.  I assumed I'd need a root canal, because that is often the answer.  But the dentist poked, tapped, and x-rayed, and found nothing.  So I'll just live with it, he sad if it gets worse to come back, and he'd look again.  I suppose if it continues, I could go to the doctor and see if they see anything.
The booster really hit me today.  I didn't have any side effects with my other shots, but I'm wiped out, sore, and tired.  It'll be an early night for me.

End of October

Aaron fixed my shift key!

 We all successfully got our flu shots. Aaron and Bron had to wait for an hour. Bert and I went to a different Kaiser, and only waited five minutes. Bert didn't do well, which I expected. Though, he told me I wasn't going to have to pin him down.  We all have our covid booster appointments as well. So we're ready for Winter.

Mom and I had fun while she was here. We just have a good time doing normal things, and hanging out. We cleaned out my closet, and went through both kids shoes and Bronwyn's clothes. She got home safely, though she got Bertram's cold. Somehow, the rest of us avoided it.

I tried to donate platelets again, but my hemoglobin was still too low.  Boo.

Bertram had a long writing assignment this week. A narrative about Pokemon. I had to do the usual of micromanaging him while he wrote. Otherwise, he wRiTes Like THis.  So I had to keep reminding him to do lower case.  His teacher is very much about "third grade standards" which means not wrinkled work, and neat writing. Both are challenging for him. But it's good, because he needs that. She is really on top of things, I like her a lot. We did probably 50 minutes one night, and 45ish the second night. He did really well on night two, he did much better staying on task. (ASD+ADHD is a challenge, so we work hard). 

Rough draft and final

Bronwyn had her walk a thon last Friday. She trudged a long. We came to cheer her on, and her face lit up when she saw us. The night of the walk a thon was the school's fall festival. The kids had fun at that. Bert did a spin art and got a snow cone, Bron decorated a pumpkin and got cotton candy. We walked to and from the school each time, so I had a lot of steps that day. 

She won the ring toss game

It's getting time to put Fiona down. She's getting less continent. She isn't able to jump up anymore, and she can't hear much. She's super thin and doesn't like to eat. We've been feeding her cat food, because that's the only thing she'll eat consistently. But neither of us want to make the move to put her down. She 17, and her quality of life is low.

Yesterday Bronwyn said she wanted to go to the mall with cotton candy. There is a robot vending machine that makes cotton candy (fresh) at Eastridge.  From the time her got up she kept asking how long til she could get cotton candy. So while Bert (and I) went to soccer, Aaron and Bron drove to the mall for the express purpose of getting cotton candy. Aaron didn't realize that the machine didn't give change, so I also got a cotton candy. After that we got lunch at McDonald's (kids' choice) and Aaron and I went to Outrageous Outgrowns. We didn't get many clothes this time, but we got a lot of books, and one puzzle. I took a nap.

Earlier this week, Bertram pulled the towel rack out of the wall and took some of the dry wall too. Aaron spent some time fixing that today.

Another week

 still having the "shift" key problem.  so, few, if any, capitals.

Last week the kids had fall break.  

sunday, i tried to donate platelets, but my hemaglobin was too low.  It's always disappointing when it doesn't work out.

On monday we went to the Monterey bay aquarium.  it was probably the least busy i'd ever seen it.  we got to watch them feeding the fish, and cleaning the tanks.  there were not crowds of people taking videos, or a million pictures and blocking everyone else's view.  the kids had a lot of fun, and we did too.  we got lunch at carl's jr, per tradition.  both kids did very well.  no meltdowns, pretty good behaviour.  we stopped by the new 5below on the way home.  they finally opened one in san jose, no more having to drive to salinas.  

he fell asleep on the way home.

she did not.

tuesday my mom arrived in the morning.  i don't think we did too much that day.  

on wednesday, we went on a long walk in the morning (nana, the kids and me). in the afternoon, we drove to great wolf lodge in manteca.  the drive was good, we didn't run into much traffic, and no one needed to stop for a potty break.  check in was easy, and you can do everything with your wristband: unlock your door, and pay for things.  our room was really cute.  there was a little nook cut out for a set of bunk beds and a twin.  the kids and nana slept there.  there was a queen bed and a couch in the other part of the room, aaron and i slept there.  the first day we went to the waterpark.  there were a good variety of slides, none of which the kids were interested in.  But they liked the wave pool, the activity pool and the splash pad.  bert liked a couple of the little kids slides.  after we played in the water, we left the hotel and wet to chilis for dinner.  i expected the kids to fall asleep quickly, but they didn't.  and they woke up early, of course.

there was a dunkin donuts in the lobby, so we got breakfast and coffee from there.  we played at the waterpark more.  aaron and i got to go on one slide by ourselves, which was fun.  we stayed til lunch time.  we went back to chilis for lunch, because it was a lot cheaper than food at the hotel.  after lunch, we had a siesta.  we played mini golf and arcades.  mom met up with her friend, and they got dinner together.  we got a family pizza meal at the hotel.  and went back to the waterpark for a while in the evening.  again, the kids weren't sleepy.  

we mostly hungout in the morning on friday, to wait out traffic.  the kids were waterpark-ed out.  we had dunkin again, and watch some tv.  (when it was time to go, the kids wanted to go back to the waterpark). 

my father in law was supposed to be taking care of the animals.  while we were gone fiona repeatedly went to the bathroom in the house.  and for some unknown reason he didn't think he needed to clean it up.  so we walked into a literal shit-show.  and spent an hour picking up poo, wiping up pee, and scrubbing the floor.  i was livid.  i left the house very clean, and came back to a nightmare.  there were flies, and the smell was awful.  i don't know why he thought that was ok.  or, if he didn't want to clean it up, put her outside.  ugh.

saturday bert had soccer.  we tried to go get flu shots in the afternoon, but the line at kaiser was about 50 people long.  so we abandoned that idea and went to target instead.  in the afternoon the kids got much needed haircuts.  we got bron's pretty short, because she kept putting in her mouth.  

sunday was kind of a lot day.  we didn't do much.  

today, while bert had aba, bronwyn and aaron got their flu hots.  i'm going to go with bertram tomorrow after school.

Mom and I did a lot of cleaning. We cleaned out the pantry, finished a puzzle, culled Bronwyn's shoes, and cleaned the bottom of the linen closet. I also tried to go to the bank, but I forgot it's indigenous peoples day.

Welcome to October

 I wonder if I need a new laptop.  The kids (mostly Bertram) have used this one a lot over the past few years.  And now the left "shift" key (aka, the one I actually use) isn't working properly.  Maybe Aaron can fix it.  But after this paragraph, I'm just going to use all lower case, because it's bothering me.

on monday i went to rosh hashana services with my dad.  to be honest, i had high expectations.  high holy days had been very good in the past, and having not been to synagogue in 16ish years, i think i was expecting it to feel like a homecoming.  maybe it's because it was in a different building, or maybe it was the new rabbi and cantor, or maybe it's just me, but it didn't meet my expectations.  the service was very long.  2.5-3 hours is typical.  this one went close t four hours (and dad and i left a few minutes early.)  the rabbi is new, not like new-new.  i think he's been there a couple of years now, since rabbi aron retired.  i liked her a lot, and she gave good sermons.  the new rabbi (i don't even know his name)is from argentina.  which, in and of itself, is not an issue.  the issue is his accent is very heavy and he speaks english fairly quickly, which made him hard to understand.  i had to really concentrate, and even then, i had a tough time. i don't like that the cantor makes it hard to sing along.  maybe that's by design and i'm just supposed to listen.  but i like singing.  and the melodies were all new. (even the "heine matov" had new wording.  i suppose to be more inclusive, since the original translates to something like "behold how good it is for brothers to be together".  anyway, it was fine, but not what i was hoping for.  i think i may try out a new synagogue, next time i feel inclined to go.

tuesday, the saga of my broken tooth finally ended.  the original crown wasn't quite right, so it was sent back to be fixed.  it was pretty easy, as far as dentist visits go.  i was only there 15 minutes.  i thought it felt fine, but now i think it's a bit high.  but i'll live with it for a while, i'll probably get used to it.

thursday i went to kaiser for a blood draw.  i was supposed to get to stool sample kit as well, but i'm going to keep skipping that.  it's hard to transfer poo into that tiny test tube, then drive it back to the lab.  (and to be frank, the process makes me gag), plus (and the main reason) they never find anything.  it's meant to check for a certain protein, but it's never been there.  :shrug emoji: the phlebotomist didn't do a great job.  she had a hard time getting a vein (which was probably my fault, since it was a fasting blood draw, i hadn't drank much that morning), she moved the needle at it's site, but then had to stick me again anyway. fortunately, i don't mind much.  needles don't bother me.  

after that, we did a chores blitz.  mopping, scrubbing, laundry, linens, all the chores (except scrubbing the tub.) our tub is (i'm pretty sure) original to the house, which means it's from the 1950s.  (if not, then it's from a redo in the 70s, either way, it's old).  it's cast iron, and the finish is very old.  thus is it nearly impossible to clean well.  maybe it's clean when i'm done, but it still looks quite dirty.  so i never put much effort into cleaning it, since it will never be clean.  we emptied out bertram's top bunk, which had been storage for stuffies.  my mom is coming in a few days (yay!) and will need the bottom bunk.  (when she's been here before there's been an extra bed, because bronwyn was still in her crib.) he knows the change is coming, but i'm not sure how it's going to go.  

we went to target and bought a few halloween decorations, and got out the few we already had, and the kids and i decorated.  i have no clue how people like decorating for holidays.  i hate it.  it's a lot of work for something temporary.  i put a giant spider web(with spider) on the outside, hung some orange lights in the window, and put some of that webby stuff in the bushes. very minimal. 

 my battery is dying, and i can't think of much else at the moment.

he lost another tooth, and is now a reverse vampire

talking the vega, the neighbour cat.

waffles was perfectly happy to squish herself into my crotch.

We all March on.

 Things went well with the surgeon.  The prognosis is very good.  The cancer is small.  The surgeon expects the surgery will take about an hour.  Her surgery will be at the end of October.  So she'll still be able to come to visit in a week and a half.

Oddly enough, my dad is having surgery on the same day.  His is much more complex and will take a lot longer.   

I went back to the dentist for my cleaning and crown installation.  The cleaning was fine.  Surprisingly, there were no glaring issues.  The crown wasn't quite right.  It needed to be about a millimeter longer.  So it got sent back to the lab.  It was supposed to e ready on Thursday, but the lab was running behind, so I'm going back on Tuesday.

Bertram's first soccer lesson wasn't great.  He spent a lot of time complaining.  But the lessons have gotten progressively better.  I think he would be good on a running team.  I may need to try to find one.  I signed him up for some yoga/mindfulness classes.  He didn't like it at all.  But he has three more, because I already paid for them.   

Bron had a cough, starting last Saturday.  So she was out of school on Monday and Tuesday.  She still has a lingering cough, but no more fever, and she's not feeling poorly anymore.

Bron had her first ballet/tap class last week.  She really likes it.  She isn't meant to be a dancer, but that's ok.  She's not the best listener.  

Aaron was going to go on the cub scout campout with Bronwyn, and possibly Bertram.  But it's while my mom is here.  Apparently, he said I was going to go too.  When he told me, I asked if he was joking.  I do not camp.  I like being outside, but at the end of the day I want my bed, and indoor plumbing.  They might not be going.  I'm not sure if they'll go.  I won't be going.

I donated whole blood last Sunday.  Nothing too interesting about that.  It went fine, without issue.

On Monday, I'm going to Rosh Hashana services with my dad.  I'm thinking about Judaism again.  I'm not too interested in organized religion in general, but I want to have somewhere to hang my hat, so to speak.

I can't think of much else for now.  Here are pictures from the last week or so.

Playing chess, and acorns.

On a hike

Reading after school

Ready for her first dance class

I can't remember where we were going.  He was all dressed as a Pokémon trainer.

First week of soccer.

When she wasn't feeling well.

Bertram had to do another self portrait.  He had to bring this one home as well.  But he persevered, and did the assignment without much complaining.  His perfectionism came into play a bit, but not nearly as bad as the first portrait.

He drew this hedgehog.  It might be my favourite drawing of his.

Cancer

 I feel like I've been waiting for this shoe to drop for a long time.  I assumed it would have happened long before now, but here we are.

My mom has breast cancer.

We've known for about a week.  It's stage 1a, which I guess is like just a little cancer.  She had her MRI yesterday, and meets with the surgeon on Friday, which is when there will be more information.  That's all the information I have right now.

When I was 12 my mom had a cancer scare.  But after a biopsy, it was found to be not cancer.  I can't remember what it was, something benign

I feel like this has been kind of crushing my life for the last week.  I was kind of falling back into depression before, but now I feel like I'm embracing it.  Like that old friend that you know is bad for you.  But you hang out with them anyway.  Or like a cocoon, the protection of depression.  It's hard to explain, unless you've been depressed, I guess.  

Everything in my life is cancer and depression tinted.  This is a funny show. My mom has cancer. Man, the kids are so cute.  My mom has cancer.  

Since everything is cancer coloured, I've been leaning into the depression, hard core.  Not doing much of my work at home, skipping the gym or when I actually do get to the gym, just having terrible workouts, avoiding things I like, not sleeping well, sleeping too much.  And eating, of course. I wish I was one of those people that have no appetite when I was depressed, but no, I eat for comfort, not that it actually helps.