At this time

I opened my Discover Card bill and found I owed $0 this month.  I love when that happens!  We never carry credit card debt.  I think we've done it once it all of our married life, and then it was for only a month.  In terms of debt, we have $3700 left on my car to pay off, and all of Aaron's school loan.  As for the car, I'm making double (or triple) payments; I'm going to have it paid off before the year is through.  The student loan is hefty.  And we're hoping Aaron can stay in a non-profit or government job for the next 9 years so he qualifies for loan forgiveness.  But we're only making small payments on that, since they're income based, and it's going on my income from last year.
We're actually doing really well financially.  So I'm putting quite a bit into our two savings accounts (one for actual savings, one large unexpected bills eg: vet).  Right now, while our expenses are still low, we're going to save save $ave.
My dad bought a new Prius today, a red one.  He has two cars (well, three right now): a 92 Dodge Caravan, and a 99 Toyota Corolla.  He selling the van this weekend.  Then he wants to replace the Corolla with a new Corolla in a year or so.
We got a new cat on Tuesday.  We named him Julius.  He's a three year old grey and white tabby.  He's still afraid of Fiona, but he's getting a little braver each day.  And he a big snuggle cat, which is nice.
I've made a new weight loss plan.  These are the rules for the next month:

1. Track all calories every day.  (I was doing this but not being very strict about it)
2. Maximum of 24 oz of diet soda a day.  (I am really addicted to diet coke, so setting a two can limit is a good start).
3. No sweets except on Sundays and special occasions.  (I'm also really addicted to sugar.  So this has been tough, but I know it's healthier to do without it)
4. If not running errands, walk or jog on lunch break.  (I'm lucky enough that I can eat lunch at my desk, then use my lunch hour as I please.  Sometimes I need to buy groceries, but most days I'm free.  And since I work alone most of the time, I can come back to work all sweaty and red-faced).
5. Ride the bike 4-5 times a week, aiming for 45-60 minutes at a time.  (I have my bike on a trainer, in the living room.  I can watch tv and petal away.)
6. Weigh in Sunday morning.

I'm hovering around 150, I think I'm currently 148 or 149.  I'm going to get back to 140.  Then I'll see what to do from there.  I would like to sign up for a 10k or half marathon.  But I think I might be healthy enough to get pregnant in the next few months.  I don't want to sign up and pay for something I might not be able to do.

All About Diamond Jim

In December 2011, I was looking at the Best Friends website.  I came across Diamond Jim.  He had been in the shelter since 2005.  They estimated he was born in 2000, he had FIV, only three teeth and he was looking for his forever home.
Somehow, I convinced Aaron that our home needed to be his home.

Best Friends flew him out from Utah.  He had a long day: a drive from Kanab to Las Vegas, Vegas to LA, LA to San Jose.  Poor guy was stuck in his crate for 10+ hours.  He cried this whole way home because he wanted out.

When we got home and let him out, he was very aggravated.  He was so tiny and skinny.  But he was strong.  He batted at us a couple times, with a powerful swipe. 

And he had to go see our vet the next day.  He was not happy to get back in the crate.  

 At first he didn't play well with the others.  Moss (who usually dislikes other cats) thought Diamond Jim was the bees knees.  He was happy to have a buddy, Diamond Jim was not.  He hissed, puffed and swiped.
The dogs were worse.  Zelda loves cats, generally they don't love her.  Fiona loves to play with Moss (they chase each other, play fight, and sometimes groom).  Diamond Jim didn't realize Fiona likes to play, and she had a scratched nose off and on.

He started out as a loner with the other fur-kids, but he loved Aaron and me from the start.  He was such a love.  He loved nuzzling, and was the perfect lap cat.
He had a habit of lasering in on our hands and headbutting us until we'd pet him.  He'd do it when we were sleeping.  Or come by and nap around our heads.  He was a love.

 Since he was small, he loved getting into small spaces the others couldn't fit.
He was also sneaky and quiet.  There were many times he got kicked or almost stepped on in the dark because he was always swirling around our feet.










He had a lot of nicknames.  This was all me, I love nicknames.  Jimmy-Jimmy, Jimmy-James, Old Baby, Slim Jim, Skinny.

He and Mossy did become buddies. They would play fight.  I think in the beginning it was real fighting.  Towards the end it was just posturing.

Jimmy-Jimmy liked Moss a little too much sometimes.  He may have been gay, and humped Moss' hip on a few occasions.  Moss didn't mind.

 He loved laying in the sun.  He often would sneak into the backyard, and try to munch on grass.  He would explore: in the garage, in the sink, in the closet, under a blanket.  Always curious, even in his old age.

 He loved people food.  He was always sneaking stuff off our plates.  He loved pretty much all food, but he wasn't too keen on cat food.
He was pushy about it.  He would repeatedly jump on the table to get our food.
One time Aaron had beef stroganoff and he, quick as lightning, took a swipe at the bowl and took off with a big chunk of beef.  A few minutes later he came back to try it again.

 He would often "sing".  He didn't whine, or meow much.  But when he found himself alone he would sing (like cats do when they sit on a fence).  At first, we thought he was distressed.  We'd find him, and he'd give us this look that said "what do you want?"

Diamond Jim, despite having him for only a little over a year, was our most expensive guy.  He had quite a few health issues over our time together.  Mostly tummy issues, he was often barfy.  So he lost weight over time.

I hope he was happy here.  We loved having him.  We did the best we could. And what we wanted was for him to have a home, and not spend his whole life in a shelter.  We gave him a family and a real home.  He gave us snuggles, smiles, and fun memories.  We will miss him.

A little whine, this and that

Aaron's been gone on a work trip for a couple days.  This will be a test, as later this year he'll be gone for a week, and then two months, and then possibly another 10 days.  It's kind of hard being on my own.  Mostly, just because of the animals.  I do a lot of the housework anyway, because his hours can be long, but taking care of four animals on my own is hard.  Especially on days like this...
I noticed that Diamond Jim (the oldest and smallest animal) wasn't eating much.  This isn't super unusual, he's tiny; small framed, and 7.5 lbs soaking wet.  But he didn't want things he usually goes crazy for: cream, wet food, cheese etc.  And he was a little dehydrated.  Aaron said to take him to the vet.  --In our division of labour, I put Aaron in charge of all things pet (buying food, vet visits, shots, etc).  One reason is that these duties are sporadic, so he can do them around his work schedule.  But the main reason is that I can't handle vet visits.  I can't keep it together when things go wrong.--  But today I put on my big girl pants and took Jimmy-Jimmy to the vet.  The normal vet doesn't work Tuesday or Wednesday (which is good because he used to be the only vet there, he worked 10+ hour days 7 days a week).  Diamond Jim barfed on the way there (just bile, since he's not eating).  And he cried and cried.  He hates being in the crate, and he hates riding in the car.  First we weighed him, he's down to 5 lbs.  That is a huge weight loss, since he was so tiny to start with.  He was very dehydrated.  Two of his teeth will likely need to be extracted in the near future (he only has 4, so he'll be down to two).  They did a blood and urine draw, gave him sub-q fluids, an antibiotic shot, and sent him home with Rx food, and more antibiotics.  $427 later we were on our way.  They'll call tomorrow with results and what we'll do next.
On the way home he started crying again.  I did too.  I felt awful, like a bad cat-mommy.  Could I take care of a baby, when I can't keep a cat from wasting away?  Plus he felt so bad, and there was nothing I could do for him.
When we got home I put him in the spare bedroom, and gave him some of his new food, which he ate about half of, and close him in.  (Otherwise, the other cat, or dogs, would eat his food and push him around).

At work today my HVAC finally got fixed.  My thermostat did nothing.  So when I'd get in, it would be 52 in the office.  The heater wouldn't come on til Mr Nextdoor came in.  Then, just when it would get to a comfortable temperature, the AC would come on, and get down to 63 or so.  Now my thermostat works, and I set the timer so it won't be freezing when I get in.  Yay!

Work has been busy.  Lots of calls to make, which slows down everything else I need to do.  Plus we're having a billing meeting with the owner tomorrow (not a big deal, just a lot of planning).  Then from that meeting I need to get a lot of stuff ready for the staff meeting on Thursday.  Medicare has a couple things they're instituting, that will likely lead to smaller reimbursements, and lots more work for everyone.  Sometimes I wonder if Medicare is worth the hassle.  If I have the choice, when I'm old (assuming Medicare still exists), I'm going to pay more for a good Medicare replacement plan, because Medicare is awful, and hard for both providers and patients to work with.  I could go on and on.

It's been too long

• I tried to make alfredo sauce for dinner.  It was a disaster.  I should learn to cook, someday.
• We had a crab and lobster dinner last Saturday.  The in-laws + grandma, my dad and his gf came.  Everything turned out great.  I love crab.
• Work is going well, still super busy.  Today I put a desk chair together.  That was fun.
• I've been riding my bike everyday.  Aaron got me an indoor bike trainer for Christmas.  I have is set up in front of the tv.  
• I've been drinking way too much diet soda lately.  I need to cut back.  
• I think I'm pmsing.  I want sweets.  It's hard to tell, the depo shot makes me not have a period.  But the slight pms symptoms pop up from time to time.
• This is going to be a tough year for Aaron and I.  He has a lot for work obligations.  It's almost like he's in law school again, lots of late nights.  Tonight he's at a campout.  Then he'll be gone all summer working as camp director at a camp in the Sierras.  The plan is for me to make the 3 hour drive most weekends to spent time up there.  I'm not sure how well that's going to work.  I guess we'll see.   
• I'm working on losing some weight.  All of a sudden I weigh 150 lbs and my pants don't fit.  But tonight I'm probably just going to eat.

Lack of adoption

On Wednesday, Aaron and I went to an orientation with Adoption Connection.  We were both excited and nervous to go.  But for the most part, it turned out to be very disappointing.

The company sounds great.  They usually have 90-120 families waiting to adopt, and generally make about 50 placements a year.  Those are pretty good odds.  And their moms are generally a little more put together, a little older, and they don't do any crisis situations or special needs.  All of that sounded really great, until we got to the payment sheet.  Their fees are pretty standard among private open adoption firms.  It goes something like this:

• $275 for your start up fee
• $2300 for homestudy
• $8000 for the organization to advertise you, and find you a match
• Birthmother fees $0-2000
• Legal fees $2000-3000

All in all, their total came to $12-17k.  But most private adoptions in California average $15k-28k.  Which means at this rate, it'll be another 6-7 years before we can even start.

We'll sign up with LDS FS, but their placement seems very low, since there are a lot of families who want babies, and not a lot of babies.  But it's way cheaper.  I think it's $100 for start up and $1000 or $1200 for homestudy.  Plus they cap what you pay based on income.

I'm also going to look into Fost-adopt.  I know they are not expensive, but I think it's harder to come by non-special needs babies.  

I've mostly gone into free fall since that meeting.  It just seems like there is no way: we can afford it, or (if we can afford it) we would get chosen.  It's a pretty hopeless feeling.

Misc

During my vacation, my sister and I watched Food Inc.  She'd never seen it, I saw it about 3 years ago.  I decided I want to do more, in terms of food.  I already buy organic free range eggs.  They cost $4.50 a dozen, so about 3 times as much as regular eggs.  I've started buying organic milk.  This one is harder, as we go through way more milk than eggs.  Regular milk is usually between 2.99 and 3.30; organic is 6 to 6.50. I have no clue if organic milk cows are treated better than regular. But I'd like to think so.

I don't buy any "land animal" meat.  I do buy fish occasionally.  But I do buy some tv dinners with meat for Aaron's lunches.  I could cut back, or just buy veggie meals, he wouldn't mind.

He plays with the idea of vegetarian-ism from time to time.  I would like to get back there, but I can't do it til my guts are more under control.

My vacation was good.  I wish I could see my mom and sister more.

Things have been tough lately.  Conference weekend is supposed to be uplifting, and comforting.  It was the exact opposite.  There were too many talks about kids who died.  And Elder Oaks, who I normally love, gave a talk that crushed me.  I was sobbing before it was over.  Not good sobbing, sobbing because my heart was breaking.  I can't even remember what was said, but it was about kids, it was frustrating, and crushing.  I do remember he said a child is best when in the home with it's biological parents.  And I thought oh great, another strike for us.

I don't really know what to do.  I feel like being in the church is making things harder.  My faith is failing me.  Or I'm failing it.

Aaron's having a hard time too.  He's not as vocal about it as I am.  But I just feel broken.