My second try at the root canal went much better. Whatever that numbing stuff was worked well. I go back in a few weeks to do step two (hopefully finish it before the crown gets put on).
Bronwyn is pulling up and cruising on all the furniture. She likes to walk holding onto our hands. She says "more", "dada" and "mama". She has finally started crawling normally most of the time (instead of the army crawl).
The kids have been a little rough on me lately. Bronwyn has been extra grumpy, which I think (hope) has to do with teething. She has not wanted to nap, and sleeping at night has been a little rough too. I'm not sure what is going on with Bertram, but he gets into these meltdowns. I tell him to clean up and he can't do it. It's just impossible. He'll scream "I can't do it". So I'll send him to his room for quiet time. Sometimes he'll calm down, sometimes he won't. I've been trying to help him add words to his emotions, so I can help him. But thus far, it's not helping. Today they were both at their worst at the same time. He's been doing a lot of back talk too. I take away privileges (tablet and tv) or use time outs or quiet time. Maybe it's normal for 4 year olds. But I guess we'll just muddle through.
Brianon mentioned the loneliness of being a stay at home mom in her blog. It's been on my mind lately. It's a tough dichotomy for me. Because social anxiety makes me want to be on my own a lot, but I also want to have some friends. I feel like I don't really have any close (local) friends anymore. Maybe that's typical of SAHMs? I don't think my mom had a lot of close friends when we were young. I'd like to go to the park group with the other SAHMs from church, but Bronwyn is always napping when they meet. Maybe it's another thing that just needs to be muddled through? How does one make friends as an adult?
Church is kind of tough too. I don't feel like I belong there. Like I'm not good enough, or the same enough. Plus, I've lost my testimony, pretty much entirely. And the more I try to work on it (doing all the textbook things: reading scriptures, studying, praying etc), the further away I feel. Maybe it's not where I'm supposed to be. Is there a time when you throw in the towel? I guess it doesn't matter too much, I'll still be doing the same things.
Well, this has been a kind of depressing post. I guess I've been a little down lately.
You hit the nail on the head with the loneliness thing. I don't want to be around people. But it would be nice to meet someone at McDonald's for dokes while our kids play in the play place ya know? I wish we lived by each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel out of place at church. I don't understand why doing textbook things helps some people and hinders others. I wish I had answers for you. But, I love you no matter how you feel about Mormonism.
Fingers crossed Bron grows out of the sleep regression soon. And my 4yo nephew is very tantrum-y explosion-y too, so maybe it's just an age thing. I've been thinking about giving Henry melatonin gummies at bedtime. My neighbor is a nicu nurse and she said they give melatonin drops to all the tiny babies.... So it's gotta be ok for my toddler right??