An average day

This is what an average day looks like:

7ish - Bertie wakes up.  I let him hang out for a few minutes, unless he's screaming.
7:15ish - We get up, if he's wet through I change him, otherwise I wait a few minutes, because he's grumpy when he wakes up.  (I wonder where he gets that from...?)  I get his milk and we sit in the recliner and watch the news for a few minutes.  He likes the traffic report, and the weather.  And the commercials.  Then we usually will read a few books before demanding "gargoons" (cartoons).
8ish - I turn Thomas the Train on Netflix.  He half watches, and half plays with his toys.  I do my yoga (or whatever exercise).
8:45ish - We sit at the table and eat breakfast.
9:15ish - I put away the dishes and clean the house a little.  Bertram will usually colour or play with chalk for a bit, then play with his trains or cars more.  After a while he usually says "sit here" (the recliner) "mommy read book".
10ish - We head out and do whatever we're going to do for the day, usually errands: groceries, etc.  Sometimes we go to the mall and walk around (especially if the weather is bad).
Noon: We are back home.  Sometimes he has lunch before nap, sometimes not.  Typically he'll have a small snack, and more milk.  We sit in the recliner and read a few more books.  I sing him his nap time song:

It's time for a nap, it's time for a nap.

You will feel so much better after a nap.

After a nap, after a nap

We will have more fun after a nap.

Sometimes the last line changes, if we have something specific planned.  (We will go see grandma, after a nap).

He will sleep 1.5-3 hours.  I clean up, do dinner prep, laundry, sit around, and enjoy the quiet.

2:15ish - Bertie wakes up.  We have a little more milk, or water.  Read a few books. Then maybe a snack, or he'll just play.

4ish - He will usually request that we go to Grandma and Grandpa's house (two doors down).  Which means he wants to go play, and for me to leave him there.  He often will stay there until Aaron gets home at 5:30.  So I clean up again, and get dinner ready.

5:30 - Aaron comes home, we have dinner.

6:00 - Sometimes baby gets a bath, depending on how gross he got at dinner.

6:20ish - We walk the dogs.  Bertie usually goes back to grandma and grandpa's, but sometimes he comes too.

7:15ish - We start getting ready for bed.  Jammies, milk, more books, brush teeth, have fluoride (or vitamins).  We sing a few songs, then say prayers.  Then we go around a say good night to each of the animals (Juli, Zelda, Fiona and Priya), then good night to mommy and daddy.  Then we sing the bedtime song as we go to bed.

7:40ish - (to the tune of "let's go out to the lobby")

Let's all go to bed

Let's all go to bed

Let's all go to bed, 

and get ourselves some rest.

Now it's time for bed, 

Now it's time for bed, 

Now it's time for bed, 

time to go to sleep.

We tuck him in with his favourite bears (Charlie and Blue), and pull up his two blankets (only because it's winter, not because it has to be two).  He'll usually say "tuck in. night-night".  

A fun day

For Christmas Bertie got a 10-visit pass to Billy Beez.  We went for the first time today.  We got there a few minutes after it opened.  He was so excited, and was pulling me to go in, while we were waiting in line.  We got our wrist bands, and went to put the diaper bag in a locker.  Then away we went.  Up and down the ramp, in and out of a million tunnels, over the cargo nets, and down various slides.  I'm short enough, that I could follow him all around without having to duck.  But I'm guessing I'll be sore tomorrow.  The slides were really fast, he went down most of them on my lap.  We played from 10-11:30 then had a snack, then played more.

Around 12:30 he said wanted lunch, so we left (we had re-entry in case we wanted to go back).  This was the first day I ditched the stroller, and tried out his baby leash.  It was not a success.  He tried to wander away, and then just laid on the floor and asked to me carried.  He's getting heavy! (Almost 25 lbs).  He said he wanted cheese for lunch.  I thought we'd go to Hot Dog on a Stick.  They have cheese on a stick, and veggie hot dogs.  But when we got to the food court, it was gone.  (I just looked at the mall's website, and it moved, really close to where we were.  D'oh!)  We walked back, and went to the bakery, and got cheese bread.

He was about done after lunch.  We headed home.  I put him down, and he fell asleep really fast.  I did some dinner prep, and mostly watched SVU.

When he got up, we watched Thomas the Train (I hate that show).  And played for a bit, before going to visit grandpa, while I finished dinner.  After we all ate, we all played together in the living room. It was a pretty nice day.

Significant Concerns

I was thinking about different worries I've had through my life.  I think I've always been an anxious person.  Some of my anxieties were normal, some were less normal.

• Monsters (after a nightmare at age 3)
• Tornadoes (some time around age 4)
• A throat culture (only one, my dad had to take me back later in the day)
  (The next few all came about around age 6)
• Having to check on my baby sister, to make sure she was still breathing
• Unplugging everything I could reach, for fear of fire (then having to check again to make sure I'd actually unplugged them)
• Locking doors (then (again) double, triple checking to make sure I'd done it)
• Wetting the bed (I wet the bed once around age 6, and then worried for a long time that it would happen again.  So I'd make sure my bladder was really empty a few times before bed).
•  Turning the lights off and on (Somehow I got the idea that some combination of the lights (specifically the hall light) being turned off and on would signal aliens, and they would come and abduct me)
• Being picked up late (anytime my parents were late picking me up from something, I'd start to panic, and assume that something terrible had happened)
  Moving on to tween/teen years and beyond
• Drugs (I remember being worried about middle and high school, and people offering drugs all the time) (I was actually so anxious about drugs, I never tried anything.  I kind of wish I'd tried pot, or gotten drunk in my younger days).
• People being late (Once again, assuming something terrible had happened.)
• Losing my wallet or phone (even now I check/double check to make sure they're where they should be)
• People following me (sometimes I'd think I was being followed while driving).
• Leaving the straightener on.

I'm sure there are some I'm forgetting.  I'm better now.  I don't have the OCD issues like I did before.  I'm still anxious, but probably only a little more than the average person.

This and that

Starting January 1st I went meat-free again.  Aaron and Bertie are doing mostly meat-free,  Bertie doesn't really like much meat anyway, so it's not hard for him.  I had a proud mommy moment today.  We went to the mall and were getting lunch while we were there.  I asked him if he wanted a burger (veggie burger, as we were sharing), a salad or rice and beans (Chipotle).  I was sure he'd choose the burger or Chipotle (he loves rice and beans).  He chose salad!  He didn't want much of the lettuce (probably because it very lightly dressed with a vinegrette), but he ate lots of edamame, chickpeas and lentils.

On January 1st I also cut out Diet Coke and all sugar (sweets, syrup, jelly, sugar cereal, fruity yogurt etc).   So far, this is only for January.  But I'll evaluate when the month is done. It's been so hard!  I had a terrible headache the first two days.  No more headaches, but God, I want sweets and diet coke.

We adopted our new three-footed kitty on Sunday.  She hitched a ride with a couple from Scotts Valley.  She's small, and hobbildy.  We went back and forth on names.  Aaron said "What about Priya?"  So she's call Priya.  She hasn't been introduced to the rest of the house yet, but we're getting there.

Bertie went bowling for the first time last night.  He was very uncertain at first, and didn't like the pins falling down.  But he got the hang of it, then really wanted to keep playing.  His final score was better than mine! I think I'll take him again during the day sometime.

Year End Survey

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
Flew with a toddler, went to a trampoline park, fed a giraffe, stopped nursing (boo-hoo), did yoga everyday for 30 days, swam in Pinecrest

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I wanted to get in shape and/or pregnant again and save more money.  I am in better shape, but still way heavier than I would ideally like to be.  We did pretty good about saving money.  We double our savings from last year (which should give you an idea of how little we had), and started an account for Bertram.  
For 2016... I'd like to double savings again, which should be doable.  But I don't have anything else in mind.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I think all the close people were either 2014 or next year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?No.

5. What countries did you visit?
none, still.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
More hiking and running, and more couple time without baby.

7. What days from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Playing tourist in SF on Bertie's birthday, getting lost on the way to Pier 39, and being stuck on the Embarcadero for an hour on the way home.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Saving money

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being as patient or kind as I should

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, but I had a colonoscopy in December.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I think I'll go with the best thing we stopped buying: health insurance!  We get our whole family covered by Aaron's (new-this-year) job for under $40 a month, with coverage that can hardly be beat. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Aaron, he's awesome.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Picture People.  They suck, a lot.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Visiting my family in November

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
nothing is coming to mind.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier, I think
ii. thinner or fatter? a little thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Really cherished my breastfeeding time.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
 Eating junk

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We'll be with Aaron's folks and extended family.  My dad will come.  I'm excited.

22. Did you fall in love in 2015?
Just stayed in love

23. How many one-night stands?
none, duh.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Amazing race, Project runway, Cut Throat Kitchen, Bobs Burgers, Last Man on Earth (the only change from last year)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I try not to waste time on hate.

26. What was the best book you read?
Ready Player One.  Not because I liked it that much, but I think it's the only book I read this year.  (That is sad).

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
More of the same stuff.

28. What did you want and get?
To lose weight, have Bertie catch up (developmentally), and more money

29. What did you want and not get?
To lose all the baby weight

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Kingsmen was good

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We went to the flea market, The Habit for lunch and Red Lobster for dinner.  I turned 32

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Having more energy, most of the time.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
jeans and tees.

34. What kept you sane?
Anti-depressants, Aaron having a normal schedule, Bertram's smile

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ruby Rose

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Marriage equality.

37. Who did you miss?
Most people, I feel like I was isolated.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't meet a lot of new people

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015:
The county is the best employer there is.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
??

A december post

Apparently it's been a month since I was last here.  I think I'm in a little depression slump.  No reason, really, as usual.

Our fakey tree is set up in the kitchen (displaced from the living room, due to Bertie's toys), and stuffed with gifts underneath.  I am pretty excited for Christmas.  I hope Bertie might actually get into opening gifts.  And if not, I'm still excited to see what he got.  We're having dinner with Aaron's family (as we always do), and my dad is coming (as he always does).  We've decided we're not "doing" Santa.  I have no nostalgia around it.  And Aaron doesn't care to do it.  (Actually the only memories I have about Santa were hoping that he was real, and would ignore the fact I was Jewish, though, he never did).  But I did get Bertram's picture with the Santa at Bass Pro Shop, because it was free.  My gift from Aaron was having my engagement ring re-set with two diamonds from my great-aunt's ring.

We're in the process of getting a new cat, because I'm a crazy person.  I saw that four years ago, we adopted Diamond Jim from Best Friends, in Utah.  I looked at their website, and saw it was cheap adoption time again, and saw an old lady cat called Tinsley.  She is 10, has 3 legs, and a black splotch on her white face.  I've always wanted a three-legged cat or dog.  And we like to get the less desirable cats (old, or with FIV, or old with FIV).  Because we have adopted from them before, she is free.  As of now, she is scheduled to arrive on January 8th.

Also, in the new year, I'm going back to being vegetarian.  Or maybe a very occasional pescaterian, I haven't decided yet.  I don't really like eating animals, and I don't like what it does for the environment.  ...But I'm also planning on getting pregnant again next year, so we'll see what my body wants to do.

Bertie is doing well.  He talks a lot!  He is really starting to become a twonager.  It's hard to keep my patience sometimes, but I'm still new at this, so I try to cut myself a little break.  And generally speaking, he's good, but precocious.

Some Musings

I feel like I've lost my faith.  Well, I suppose that's  incorrect.  I think my faith lost me.  I had been having trouble with my testimony/church membership for a long time.  It was weird too, because the more I tried to do the right things (and "fake it til you make it") the further I felt. God stopped talking to me, so for a while, I stopped talking to God.  But not to long ago, I tried again, and I asked what should I do, what should I be doing?  The answer was do what brings you joy.  I haven't really found what brings me joy yet.  And my faith has become a somewhat contentious subject in our house.  I really wish I could make myself believe.  It would make things easier, and it would be nice to just believe.  But I've tried, and as of now, I can't.  Maybe that will change, I'm certainly open to it.  But at the moment this is all I've got (spiritually speaking): I'm pretty sure there it something out there.  I don't know how hands on this something is, but I think there is something greater than myself.

It's starting to get cold again.  Not like the rest of the country, where it actually gets cold.  Just cold for here, which is more than enough for me. We're had to turn on our heater, which is nice, but parts of our house are poorly insulated (particularly the master bedroom).  Even when the heat is on, it can still be chilly.

Bertram had his first haircut a few days ago.  I took him to Kinder Cuts, and he got to sit in a truck while having his hair cut.  He did really well, and the stylist did well too. I kept it long, but got it out of his face more.  People warned us that once we cut his hair the curls wouldn't come back.  But I think it's actually curlier than before.

I'll be having my second colonoscopy in 3 weeks.  (I supposed I should write about this on the crohns blog, but maybe later).  My sister is having her first colonoscopy on the same day. I'm not too nervous this time.  I'll be doing a different prep process, but I'll be drinking a lot less volume, which will be a welcomed change. And I'm not too worried about what they'll find, diagnostically, because it'll (more than likely) still be crohns.  I've not been having pain, or any serious flare ups, but it's been 4 years, so it's time.

It's been three weeks since I've really exercised (aside from walking).  I was going to get up and run this morning, but I didn't really sleep until after 3, and getting up at 5:30 was just not going to happen.  Maybe tomorrow, we'll see how it goes, but I do need to get moving again.  I just feel better when I do.