Last of 2014

Christmas was great.  We were spoiled by everyone. We had dinner with Aaron's family, and my dad came too.  It was all very yummy.  Bertie got a lot of toys and clothes.  Aaron and I both had the Friday after Christmas off, so we had a nice long weekend.

Work has been really busy since the move.  I had double my usual hours on my last paycheck.

Yesterday Bertie and I went to Target, as we wandered around, he held my hand.  It was really nice.  I wanted to write it down so I could remember.

I felt like I had a lot to say, but I can't think of much right now.

Here is some miscellaneous stuff:

• Gas is 2.45 here.
• It's been cold and windy for the last couple days
• Moss had been banned from the house, he's allowed in with limited privileges
• Bertram stayed up til after 9 tonight.  He just didn't want to go to bed.
• Aaron and I have started our annual tradition of watching all of Friends from the beginning
• Bertram is really into standing right now

10 months old

• Weighs about 19lbs
• Has 4 teeth
• Likes clapping his hands, and moving his head left to right (imitating)
• Loves taking a bath, and splashing in spilled water
• Like playing patty-cake and ittsy bitsy spider
• Sleeps 12 hours at night without waking (98% of the time)
• Takes 1-2 naps each day
• Thinks pulling off his socks is great fun
• Favourite toys: Charlie Bear, a wooden spoon, Aaron's glasses, anything that plays music.
• Favourite foods: crackers, ham, all fruit, sweet potato, beets
• Still nurses 4-6 times a day (short sessions, unless he's just woken up)
• Has recently discovered standing (while holding something for support).

Still isn't crawling much, just in circles, no forward or backward movement.  He's not pulling up yet either.  He had a hearing check earlier this week, and all was well there.  We got a card in the mail today saying that Bertie has a PT appointment in a couple weeks.  I assume it's an evaluation, but we'll take all the help we can get.

Year End Survey

I have a blog rolling around in my head, but Depression is back in full swing.  So I'll do this for now.

1. What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before?
Gave birth, had surgery, breastfed, stayed overnight in a hospital, co-slept, completed a 90-day workout plan

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any for 2014.  For 2015, I think I really want to work on building a savings account, and getting back in shape (and/or maybe getting pregnant again)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me!  Sophie, Colleen, my cousin's wife, my former co-worker.  It was a big year for babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No one is coming to mind, so I'll say no. (Hopefully, I'm not just forgetting).

5. What countries did you visit?
none, still.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
More time outside, more money in savings.

7. What days from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
2/27: the day Bertie was born.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not bouncing back, weight-wise, from the pregnancy.  Unlike the rest of the world, I am not losing weight from breastfeeding.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Things related to pregnancy, and the c-section.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
We got a deep freezer, but it was a gift.  Maybe the Ergo carrier.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Bertie!  He's awesome.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Can't say, just in case they read the blog (though I don't think they do).  But I'll say those who don't take care of things, to the detriment of others.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, insurance for Bertie and me

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having Bertie, my mom visiting, going to visit her, Christmas

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
Happy

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? hard to say.  While the year has been outstanding, depression has hit me pretty hard.  I guess I'd say sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? slightly thinner, but I was pregnant then.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Been outside, exercised

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?Shopping

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With Aaron's family, Dad came.  We had prime rib and ham.  We got a lot of gifts, and were totally spoiled.

22. Did you fall in love in 2014?
Yes, with my baby boy

23. How many one-night stands?
none, duh.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Amazing race, Project runway, Cut Throat Kitchen, Bobs Burgers

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I try not to waste time on hate.

26. What was the best book you read?
I barely read this year.  I guess I'll say What to Expect the first year.

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
I didn't have much time for music this year.

28. What did you want and get?
A happy, healthy baby

29. What did you want and not get?
A natural delivery, a vaginal birth, my pre-baby body back

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Lego Movie (I didn't see many movies)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31, I was in Virginia with my family.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The year was really satisfying, but I would say that no depression would have made the year much better.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
Clothes with various stains on them.

34. What kept you sane?
Talking to my mom and sister, anti-depressants

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
David Tennant.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Nothing comes to mind (again, I was very immersed in Baby this year).

37. Who did you miss?
Boy, Marmie, Brianon

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't meet a lot of new people

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014:
Ask for help when you need it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
??

Title goes here.

• Bertie has been sick for a couple days.  We went to the doctor today. He doesn't have a fever, and his ear were clear.  So it's just a virus, which is good.  But the poor kid is unhappy.  And so snotty.  He and I went to the park today, and all the baby swings were being used.  So he and I sat together on a regular swing, and didn't go high.  And Baby B just kept laying his head on my shoulder, which he very rarely does.  I enjoy the snuggles, but I hate that he feels so bad.
• I have eczema on my scalp.  It's really annoying.  I have a steroid cream, which worked well on my ears, but it's hard to get on my scalp.  Since there is hair, and all.
• I've been feeling less depressed this week.  I decided I wanted to work on my spirituality this week.  So I set different goals, and I'm following through.  But I'm still not feeling the spirit.  I talked to Aaron, he said depression can mess up things like that.  So I'll keep trying.
• The office moved this week.  So I worked about 19 hours, instead of 12.  I'm working extra next week too.  The new office is beautiful, I can't wait to see it once the furniture is moved in.
• It rained almost all week, which is good, we need it.  But I'm looking forward to having some sun this coming week.  And I'm looking forward to Christmas!

Radio Silence

Depression is making a comeback.  Ever since my mom and step-dad left it's been tough.  We had a great time while they were here.  Lots of fun, we went to San Francisco.

Nana, Papa and Bertie in front of the tree they bought for us

US at the foot of the Golden Gate Bridge

Papa is the baby whisperer.  

Nana and Bertram

An even better one of Nana and Bertie.

Janet and Dennis bought us an upright chest freezer for Christmas.  We Aaron had to rearrange the garage a bit.  But it looks good.  There's not much in there right now, breastmilk and a couple ice packs.  Now that we have a little money in the bank, I'll see if I can stock it.

Work is busy since it's the end of the year, and we're moving on Saturday.  So I'll be picking up some extra hours, which is good.

I haven't been walking or exercising lately.  It's been bad.  Between the weather (rain) and depression I've probably gained 100lbs.  I need to get back on it.

I was supposed to have a dentist appointment on Thursday, but I forgot and scheduled a hair appointment on top of it.  So I need to reschedule, plus I need to make sure my insurance is accepted, since it's changed since I was last there.

Thanksgiving

We had a nice holiday weekend.  Brianon and Thomas came by to visit on Wednesday.  It was really great to see them, since it had been a year or so.
On Thursday we slept in.  And spent the morning bumming around.  Aaron did some raking.  At 2:45 we walked down to the in-law's house.  At the moment we walked into the kitchen, I remembered I didn't make the corn casserole!  So we ran back home and made it, it took about 45 minutes.  We walked back, my dad was already there. (We were a small group this year: Aaron, me, Bertie, Janet, Dennis, dad, grandma, and Aaron's aunt Judy.  Sophie and Ken had issues with his folks, Lewis and Sarah were with her family, and I'm not sure what the Guetschow girls were up to).  We were almost ready to eat when Janet realized she hadn't cooked the dressing.  Dinner was good.  We let Bertie feed himself.  He liked the sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes.  He had a little bit of turkey and some bread.  He had a good time.  (He was 9 months old that day too). It was also the first time Bertie laughed without being tickled.  Something about Judy was
making him laugh.  It was adorable.

After we finished eating, we took pictures.

Four generations

Three generations

Two generations

We had decided that we weren't going to go Grey Thursday, or Black Friday shopping.  But we woke up at 9 on Friday and changed our minds.  Actually Aaron changed his, but I'm always up for a shopping trip.  We went to Oakridge and got a spot right in front of Sears.  Aaron wanted to go to Old Navy, specifically.  We found some good deals.  As we were ready to leave, Bertram fell asleep, so we walked around more, so he could get a nap.

 Shopping companion

Different outfit (stripes on strips), he wet through the overalls from the previous picture

Later in the day we drove to Redwood City to see Trish and Rob(Aaron's bio-mom and her hubby), since they were in town visiting family.  They brought gifts for baby.  We opened two gifts, a nice new outfit, a singing puppy where you press his hands, or ears or tummy, etc. And a couple other little toys, a ball, and a Gumby and Pokey.

Saturday we slept in a little bit.  I woke up to this:

I didn't even remember that Bertie was in bed with me, and usually if he is, he's attached to the teat.  He was next to me, and Yoie was next to him.  It was really cute.

Then we spent the day cleaning the house, since my mom and stepdad will be here on Tuesday!

Bertie helped.

Today we went to church with Janet and that side of the family.  Baby Michael was baptized.  In the afternoon we went to lunch at the Boiling Crab with Trish and Rob.

It was a really good weekend, but my depression was still hitting me really hard. 

Shrinky Dink

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday.  I see him every three months or so.  Every time I go in, I fill out a depression score sheet.  My score on Monday was about double what it was last time.  I think there is just a lot going on.  Some postpartum stuff, money anxieties, issues with religion, Aaron having been working a lot of nights lately, the list goes on.  My doctor would like to adjust my meds.  But the things he wants to add can't be taken until I'm done nursing Bertie.  (I'll be able to have Adderall again.  Yay!)  In the meantime, he wanted me to start going to a Rapid Symptom Relief group.
I went to the first group meeting last night.  It was pretty good, except the guy sitting near me had super bad BO.  We did a mindfulness exercise, which was kind of neat.  We talked about sleep, and pleasurable activities.  I felt like it was more useful than the previous group I did.  Hopefully it'll be useful in the long term.

I've been trying to set goals.  Exercising, getting my steps in, not overeating, and setting a sleep schedule.

Tomorrow will be kinder.

Today was quite a day.  It started out well enough.  Bertie woke a little after 7, nursed and went back to sleep until 10.  In turn, I went back to sleep until 10.

We got up and both had breakfast.  He was acting like he was still tired.  So I tried to lay him back down.  That didn't work, so we went to visit his great grandma for a little bit. He seemed tired again.  I thought about going to Ikea today, and in retrospect, I should have just gone.  I tried putting him down a lot of times. I tried laying down with him.  I tried rocking him.  He nursed a lot.  Despite having slept a lot last night, nearly 10 hours, I was exhausted all day.  All I wanted was a nap.  Every time I wasn't holding him

I also kept looking to see if my MiL came home.  Because loves seeing Bertie, and I really wanted the break.  But she was gone all day.

Around 4:30 he finally went to sleep!  The heavens opened and the angels sang.  I got a couple things done, and then I took a nap on the couch with Zelda.  Bertie woke up around 6, and my MiL was home, so we went to visit for a bit.  We came home, he had dinner, I had dinner.  He played a little bit, and I sent him to bed at 7:30.

Aaron was working all day, so I haven't seen him.  It was a long day.  I haven't exercised, I barely have 4000 steps, I ate terribly.  I couldn't do anything to help the baby.  And I'm having a crohns pain. It was a bad day.

Misc

• Aaron and I started a week-long Diet Coke fast yesterday.  So we're nearly two days down.  It hasn't been quite as hard as I thought.  I'm definitely craving it (especially now, as I'm typing about it).  No caffeine headaches so far.  But I hit a point this afternoon where I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I dozed with Bertie for a little bit, which was nice.
  We'd been drinking way too much.  Like 3-4 cans a day (some were caffeine-free).  But it was just way too much.  Plus it's an extra expense that we don't need to spend.  Once we're done with the week, maybe we'll have some again.  I'm thinking about just having it as a "treat" and not keeping it in the house.
• Bertie has become an excellent sitter.  I can't get over how cute he is.  I bathed him in the sink a couple days ago.  Now that he can sit on his own, he has so much fun.  He just splashed and smiled.
• I've started exercising again.  My goal is 6 days a week: 2 cardio, 2 strength, 2 yoga. Last week was the first week I got back into it, and I did four days (and got my 10,000 steps in every day too).  So far this week I did power yoga today, and we're going for a family hike.
• My mom and stepdad are coming to visit in less than a month!  EEEeeeee!
• I figured out how to do a back carry with Bertie in the Ergo.  I wasn't sure I could do it without help but it wasn't too hard.  (Thanks, YouTube!)  And now I can do quite a bit of work while holding him. Though, he's happy to play by himself a lot now.
• Things Bertram likes to eat: crackers, shredded cheese, tortilla, beets, squash, sweet potato, apple, pear, mango, yogurt (with fruit mixed in), avocado (if mixed with something else), rice, peas (if he's finger feeding, he doesn't really like baby food peas), mashed potatoes, raw tofu and carrots.  There isn't really anything he doesn't like so far.  Some things he likes a lot better if they're mixed with something else.

Trapped on a couch

I'm under a blanket, Moss and Zelda are both on top.  It's not a bad place to be trapped.

Aaron and I went to vote this morning.  I usually vote by mail, but I waited too long, so I walked my ballot it.

Yesterday I did yoga for the first time in ago a year.  I am so sore today.  I've decided I need to get back into exercising.  I decided I'll do yoga, cardio and weights twice a week each.  I'm going to do cardio today, probably walk/jog.  Tomorrow I'll do a weight work out.  And once the new Bikini Body Mommy starts in January I'll do that.  I really want to get back to 140 (or less) by August, for our beach vacation.  Plus, if we want to try to have another baby, I want to be as fit as possible.

Aaron surprised me yesterday.  He still hadn't gotten me an anniversary card.  I went into the hall bathroom last night, and there was a card and a new set of salt and pepper shakers (they look like dachshunds).

It's November!

I don't think I have too much to say.  Sophie had baby Michael on Wednesday night.  He's perfect and so cute.  I've gotten to see him a few times, and all that.  I think they're all adjusting well.  She's been able to use my milk for him, since hers isn't coming in as fast as he needs it.  I'm glad it's going to good use.

I saw gas for $2.99 the other day!  I can't remember the last time it was under $3.

I'm going to bring Bertie to vote with me on Tuesday.  I usually vote by mail, but I waited too long, so I'm going to walk it in.  Our polling place is around the corner.

Bertie has been enjoying finger foods.  Lately he's had whole peas, rice, crackers, tortilla and tofu.  I'm either going to have him try beets or spinach next.

Aaron and I cleaned the living room today.  We moved the couches and tv and vacuumed behind.  That was gross.  We're going to get rid of our 2nd couch soon, since it's falling apart.  I'd like to get a love seat to replace it some day, but not any time soon.

Things change so fast.

Tonight was the first time that Bertie has really tried to scoot.  And he's getting closer to getting up on hands and knees.  He loves clapping.  And he's getting really good at sitting up.

His lashes are so long!

A few pics from the dozens I took for his 8 month photo shoot.

See this pile of change?  Just more proof I'm the worst line chooser in history.  It's hard to see but the total is $50-something.  She dumped a huge pile of change on the counter.  And then after they had counted it all, she paid the remainder on a credit card.  Arg.  Really?

The Giants won the World Series tonight!  Our yelling scared Bertie a little.

Here is a video of Kaylee playing with Bertie.  It was really cute.  (Poor kid, she is having an allergic reaction right now).  (if it doesn't work here it's on my youtube).

I bought gas for $3.09 today!

My mom and stepdad are coming to visit in a month!  I'm really excited!

A quick funny.

The other day I was sorting a mountain of laundry on the living room floor.
Aaron: That's a lot of laundry.
Rachel: Yup.
Aaron: I guess that's what happens when you only do laundry every two weeks.
Rachel:   ...  What are you talking about?  I do laundry at least twice a week!

I think it might be fair to say that Aaron is a little out of touch with how much housework I do...

The Good.

A list of the good:

• I went to church by myself on Sunday.  I used to hate going alone.  But my goodness, it was delightful! I got to wear a regular, non-nursing dress.  I wasn't covered in spit and my hair wasn't pulled.  
• I made chicken fried steak for dinner tonight.  I've never made it before, I've never made gravy before.  It was so yummy.  The gravy was good, and the steaks were good.
• I got all the bills paid today, that's always a good feeling.
• Bertie started clapping yesterday.  It's adorable.
• Bertie took a 2 hour nap.  So I also took a 2 hour nap.
• Rain!  It rained today!  Not a lot, but it's finally starting to feel like fall.

Not all sunshine

You have to take the good with the bad.  There is no other choice.

It's been a rough week.  Aaron's been sick, and working a lot (by a lot, I mean a lot of nights).  Bertie has been really bad about napping, which means no break for mama.  The house looks terrible most of the time.  We had some unexpected financial difficulties (that I won't go into).  My depression is creeping back.  I've got a lot of weird rashes, and have yet to call the dermatologist. Aaron and I spent most of the day bickering.  And, of course, there's Julius; the world's worst cat.

But within all of this crap, there have been a couple rays of sunshine.  Like Bertie and I going on a long walk yesterday and stopping to share a plain frozen yogurt (no toppings).  I wasn't sure he'd like it, since he's only so-so on normal plain yogurt; and because of this (and that it was close to dinner time) I didn't get too much.  He loved it, and probably would have eaten it all, if I'd let him.

We did quite a bit of walking this week.  I'm starting to jog a little too, since I've all but given up on the Bikini Body Mommy Challenge this time around.  (Maybe I'll pick it up again, who knows?)  There are 3 parks near the house (within 0-1.5 miles).  Lately, when we pass one, I'll stop.  Bertie will drink a little out of my water bottle, and we go on the swings.  Two of the three parks have swings like this:

Meant for disabled kids, I think.  But it works well putting him on my lap.  He likes that a lot better than the baby swings.  See?

That's about the happiest he's ever looked on a swing.  Usually he looks depressed.  Anyway, I keep trying, because someday (I assume) he'll love it.

Other goodness: my new fitbit arrived this week.  My old one (that I got for Christmas last year) just died one day.  It wouldn't reset or charge.  But since it was under a year old, Fitbit sent a new one for free.  I didn't even have to return the old one!

Today I had the brilliant idea of a family trip to the pumpkin patch.  Bertie hadn't really napped, and fell asleep on the way there.  But I really wanted to get a couple pictures and get a pumpkin.  So I got him out of the carseat, assuming he'd wake up, but he didn't. 

I took one, Aaron took the other, and we got none with him.

And we didn't get a pumpkin.  Maybe we'll try again next week.

Julius

 

Don't let his cuteness fool you.  He's an asshole.

I've had it with this cat.  He is the worst cat I've ever had.

I was rocking Bertie, getting him ready for bed.  I watched Juli get up from where he was laying, walk over to the door that had shopping bags hanging on it.  He sprayed them, and then walked away.  I threw him outside and said you're not in the house anymore!  

I thought this problem was solved when he became indoor outdoor.  But he peed (or sprayed) in Bertie's carseat a week or so ago.  And I've been struggling to get the stink out ever since.  If it was just a stinky seat I could deal, but Bertie smells every time he gets out.  Arrgggh!  

It's been two weeks again!

A lot has happened, lets see what I can remember.

Bertie had his first illness.  It started out as a cold.  And then drug on forever.  He had the cold for a week, and then got a fever on told of it.  And his snot changed from clear to green.  I called the advice nurse last Friday.  I assumed he had a virus.  They said to keep an eye on it and watch for breathing problems.  He was sick all weekend, so Aaron called the advice nurse on Sunday and made an appointment for Monday morning.   I took him in after I got done with work.  He weighs 17lbs now.  He's chunking up.  Bertie had bilateral ear infections and bronchiolitis.  So he got amox and an albuterol inhaler.  He loves the amox (Aaron and I both remember liking it too) and he doesn't mind the inhaler too much.  It looks like this:


He's feeling better now.  Today was the first day he seemed like himself.

Bertie has tried quite a few foods: Rice and oat cereals, carrots, squash, sweet potato, green beans, peas, mango, banana.  He also had a snow cone with no syrup (so, snow, basically). And a couple tiny bites of mashed potatoes. He likes everything except peas.  I made home made peas.  I just bought baby food peas a couple days ago, so we'll see if he likes those better.  Maybe the smoother texture will be better.

I've been sick for a little bit too.  We all had colds.  Plus I've been remarkably tired, more than usual.  Exercising has gone by the wayside.  But I was getting my steps in.  Until Sunday, when my fitbit died.  Like dead, died.  I tried charging it, resetting it.  Nothing.  So Aaron contacted the customer service, and I'm in the process of getting a replacement.  It's sad to have no clue how much I'm doing day to day.  I'm looking forward to cooler weather.  Then Bertram and I can go for a hike on Tuesdays and Thursday.  And maybe the other days after work too.  I really would like to start getting fit again.  I managed to get my wedding band back on, but then it was stuck.  I managed to get it off tonight.  I'm going to send Aaron to get them resized.  If my fingers slim down again, I'll wear one of those ring snugger thingies.  But it may be like my feet, they're not going to shrink.

I've been working on getting Aaron's costume together.  It's a secret though.  Bertie has a cat costume.  But I'm seeing if I can find him a monkey costume for cheap, since I have a banana costume.  I thought it would be cute.  If not, I'll either go as a cat too, or a prairie girl, since I already have it.

A few weeks ago, Aaron started teaching me to drive stick.  I feel like I'm started getting it.  But I haven't been able to practice since.

Zelda's 9th birthday was a couple days ago.  We had a tiny party.  I made a cake, Zelda and Yoie loved it.

 

Bertie was very excited for the party. (This was in the height of his illness)

 

Zelda loved the cake!

He got a balloon at Safeway today.  He loved it.

Holding his balloon, and eating a rice cracker. (Today was the first time he tried them)

A couple nights ago Bertie fell asleep while Aaron was reading.  We left him in our bed.

Just a couple things

Bertram is 7 months old today.

He had a couple firsts today: rolling back to front, and banana.

 I'd been a little concerned about his rolling.  He rolled front to back around 3 months, but we had yet to see him go the other way.  I'd assumed he could do it, but I'd never had proof.  Today I put him in his crib for a nap.  He was babbling, and playing like usual.  Then he got quiet, so I looked at the monitor, thinking he was asleep.  There he was, playing on his belly!

Prior to that, he accidentally had banana.  He and I went to visit my dad.  Dad is leaving on a trip soon, and said, "here, eat this banana, it's getting mushy and I'm not going to eat it".  I agreed, and set the banana on the table in front of me.  Bertie started playing with it, and biting on the outside.  Then he pulled the top (stem) off. Then he got part of the peel down and put it in his mouth again.  I took it from him.  I took a bite, and then mushed up a bit for him with my finger, and put it in his mouth.  We shared the whole banana that way.  He loved it.  (I gave him a little more with dinner.  I mushed up a bit of banana from my freezer and mixed it in his cereal).

Fiona has been on my last nerve.  She's learned to jump up on the counter and eat the cat food.  If we forget to push the desk chair in, as soon as my back is turned, she'll hop up and chow down.

We've all had colds this week.  It started with Bertie, then moved to me, then Aaron.  Aaron also had a tummy bug (or food poisoning?) on top of the cold.  We've all been trying to take it easy.

Updates

An update from last time:

• Laundry I'm still working through this, there was a lot
• Groceries Nope.  Didn't get there yet.  I'm going to go tomorrow.
• Exercise I didn't do specific exercises, but I did do specific walking.  I feel ok about that
• Dishes Done!
• Bills Organized and ready to be paid
• General cleaning I did quite a bit, but there is always more
• Find a birthday gift for my mom, and mail her cards Nope.  I got part of a gift today, but the cards are still sitting on the counter.

Now, of course, we're on to other things.  Like Bertie's first illness.  Fortunately, it's just a cold.  Unfortunately, babies don't know how to blow noses, and don't like the bulb syringe.  So he's been really fussy.  He spent most of the night sleeping with me.  And he hasn't napped much today either.  He's snotty and stuffy.  (When typing snotty into my phone, it auto corrected to "shitty").
Bertie also tried squash for the first time today.  I thought it tasted gross.  But he liked it.  So far, we're six for six!

Since Aaron worked so much last weekend, (and quite a few nights this week) he worked a short day today, which was great because dealing with a clingy, whiny, snotty, stuffy baby is a little wearing.  And Aaron took Bertie with him to a meeting tonight (yay!) which is why I have time to type this blog.

I have having a boob problem.  I'm not sure what it is, exactly.  At first I thought it was a plugged duct, but it's not.  Then I thought it might be thrush, but it's now that either.  It hurts so much when he nurses on the left side. And the nipple hurts randomly when he's not nursing.  I talked to the OBGyn, and the lactation consultant.  They suggested I try the lactation support group on Thursday morning, so we'll give it a shot.

We got a preview of Bertram's 6-month photo shoot.

Finally asleep today (while at Target)

Busy Bee

Here are the things on my plate for tomorrow:

• Laundry (I think this is the mostly laundry I've ever had to do.  Aaron found a bunch of scouting clothes that were either in his car or desk that need washing.  We have linens to wash.  We washed all four animals yesterday, so there are many towels. Plus nearly a week's worth of regular laundry.)
• Groceries (There are a few staples we need (apples, milk, etc) and I need to figure of what proteins to buy for dinners this week).
• Exercise (I WILL exercise,  Depression is getting to me, and I need to get moving. It's been a while).
• Dishes (Empty washer, reload, bottles, and pots and pans)
• Bills (get them ordered and ready to pay).
• General cleaning (floors, counters, tidying, etc)
• Find a birthday gift for my mom, and mail her cards

I'm not sure how much of this I'll get done.  Depends on how generous baby is feeling.

Bertie eating my cell phone charger

Trying on baby Michael's hat at the baby shower.

Three weeks later?

It's been three weeks since I last posted?  Yeesh.

It's been kind of a tough week.  My depression has been creeping back in.  I've been really tired and disinterested.  Last night, for example, I went to sleep a little before 11:30.  I got up around 8 for a bit, and Bertie and I laid back down around 9.  We then slept til 12:20.  And I was still tired.  I ate a little, since I hadn't eaten yet.  Then I decided I'd better go for a walk, before I fell asleep again.  Bertie and I walked to Dollar Tree and back.

I've been really bad with exercise.  I haven't exercised (aside from walking) since last Wednesday.  I've felt so tired and unmotivated.  Sluggo.

We found out that Nanny is going to have to move from the farm in the Spring.  It's really sad.  The property owners said she could stay as long as she wanted (after my grandpa died).  Apparently, that wasn't true.  It's like the remainder of my childhood is over.  My mom grew up there.  And us kids spent every summer (and occasional Christmases) there.  It's one of my favourite places in all the world (maybe my favourite).  It's beautiful, lush, secluded, and quiet.  There are different wild woodland animals.  Growing up there were cows and a horse.  They always had various farm dogs (Gidget, Tanya, Black Jack, the other girl I can't remember).  We'd catch lightning bugs, go fishing in the lake, make mudslides at the red clay canyon, and climb in the giant magnolia tree.  Huge family dinners, and sitting with my cousins at the kids' table in the kitchen. Yeah.  There are a lot of memories.  It's sad to think that the last time I was there will probably be the last time.

Bertie has been his usual awesome self.  I just love him so much.  He's still a great sleeper at night.  His naps are hit or miss.  I think teeth are coming soon,I can see the outlines on his bottom gums.  He likes food. So far he's had rice cereal, oatmeal, quinoa, carrots, and sweet potatoes.  He really wants table food, but obviously isn't ready for it yet.  He's a very happy kid most of the time.  We're still working on sitting up, but he's not there yet.  Also, I still haven't seen him roll front to back.  

Aaron is going to be the camp director again next Summer.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I'm not thrilled about this.  But we'll get through it.

A non-sad post

Today has been a great, and very laid back day.  We slept in a little and snuggled in bed with our baby.  He's very much a mama's boy lately.  He loves daddy, but only wants mama.  Bertie sat in the swing while Aaron and I got the house looking good.  (I have no clue how we manage to so thoroughly destroy it in such a short time period).  Got the laundry put away, played with Bertie on the floor for a bit.  He's currently taking nap #2 for the day.  He had some rice cereal earlier, he's really starting to like it, I think.  He ate the whole bowl.  (Last night he only ate half, and Zelda finished the rest).

Also today, I finished the last (90th) day of the Bikini Body Mommy challenge!  I'm really proud of myself.  I can't believe I stuck to it, and finished it.  I'm going to do my final measurements and weigh in tomorrow.  Then the whole thing starts anew in a week.

Bertie had two doctors' appointments this week.  The first was his 6 month check up.  Turns out, he's still a little guy.  Weight: 15lb7oz (12.5%), height: 26" (22%), and head: 44.5cm (83%).  Little guy, big head.  :-)  He did well, he's on track, meeting all his milestones.  He got three shots, which he was not happy about. The next day he had the follow up with his orthopedist.  He also had his first x-ray.  Everything looked great.  His acetabulum look great, nice and round.  That means he doesn't need to wear his brace anymore!  Woohoo!  He'll have a follow up in another 6 months, just to make sure all is well.

I feel blue

I shouldn't, but I do.

Bertie had his 6 month check up today.  Everything is fine, he's growing on the curve.  He's still tiny (height and weight in the 12th and 13th percentiles), with a huge head (the 83rd percentile).  He's meeting his milestones, and is a happy, healthy boy.  He got his shots, which is always sad, and then fell asleep for 2 hours.

So why am I sad?

I read in a couple of the online breastfeeding groups about women exclusively breastfeeding beyond 6 months, to 7.5 and 8 months.  So I asked the pediatrician about that (because I'd not heard much about that).  She said it's not the best idea, since after 6 months babies need a lot more iron, which they can't get from breast milk. I guess my face must have dropped, because she started reassuring me to keep breastfeeding, just add in food bit by bit.

I feel sad to not be his only food supply (pizza pie).  I think I'm sad that he's growing up.  I used to think it was so dumb to hear moms lamenting about babies growing up.  Of course, they're supposed to grow up.  If they stay little forever you're doing something wrong.  But now I get it.  I just want time to slow down a little more.

He had his first bowl of rice cereal tonight.  He loved it.