7. Jessica

Jessica is my older sister.  If you read my blog regularly, you'll likely have seen my younger sister mentioned a lot.  But Jessica scarcely makes it in.  She reads the blog and once asked if it was because I am embarrassed of her.  I told her no, she and I just don't do a lot together.

I can remember when we were little we had so much fun together!  We played with dinosaurs, blocks, Legos and chess.  (Neither of us are good at chess, but we both knew what all the pieces did, so we played without strategy).  She was super smart, and taught herself to read around age 3.  Once she could read, you'd think she'd read kids books.  Nope, she read the encyclopedia, and the dictionary and any book she could find about animals.  So when we would pretend to be animals, we were often amoeba or paramecium.

 When we were in elementary school she was in special ed.  I never really thought about why.  It didn't occur to me for a long time that she was different.  (And while it did occur to my parents, Jessica was 10 (I think) once she was finally diagnosed with Asperger's).  Though I can remember being on the playground at recess, and kids making fun of her.  Or saying there was a bee on her head so she would fling her hands around and run off screaming.  I am ashamed to say that I didn't speak up, step in, or defend her when the asshole bully kids called her retarded.  That is one of those things that has stuck with me; a time (many times, actually) I had the opportunity to do the right thing, and I did nothing.

Fortunately, my parents found a private school for her starting in 6th grade.  The school was originally in Palo Alto (which was 15 miles from my mom's hospital, or 24 miles from our house).  This was a long commute, especially after my mom had either worked 8-12 hours.  (I'm not sure why my parents decided my mom would always drive her).  After a few years the school moved to Santa Clara, which was pretty close to the hospital and not super far from the house.  Anyway, I thought the school was awesome.  But I've recently found out there were still asshole bully kids there (which seems odd, they're all in the same boat, disability-wise).

I think somewhere in late elementary school we started to be less close.  And once puberty hit her it hit her hard.  It was difficult for her, and my parents.  And I felt like the left out middle kid.  Jessica got attention because of her issues, Rebecca got attention because she was the baby.  I got attention by picking on either or both of them.  And I was jealous that I could go to private school too, not knowing how much private school actually costs.  And my folks were always good with their money, we weren't spoiled, but we didn't want for much either. (Reading all this, it's no wonder my parents got divorced).

My dad always said I had the magical ability to cheer her up when she was sad.  I honestly don't remember doing that, but it seems like something I'd do.

Jessica lives with my mom in Virginia.  (Well, she lives next door.  My mom moved into Glenn's house, so Jessica pretty much has mom's house to her self).  She goes out with her aid/helper/??? a few times a week, and volunteers on an animal helpline.  I feel sad/frustrated that there isn't something more she can do.  Or that where they are doesn't have the services of San Jose.  I think there is a lot she is capable of doing (and enjoying), but there is no one to facilitate it.  My mom is tapped out, and her job coach doesn't do anything.  The other issue is transportation.  That part of Virginia is semi-rural, and has no public transpo.  And Jessica doesn't drive.

Anyway, I feel like I've rambled on a long time.  I wish we were closer, but Asperger's doesn't allow a lot of interpersonal skills,  So we reconnect twice a year (when she comes out here to visit dad, or when I go out there).  Jessica, start a blog, then I know what you're up to.